On the flipsude, I discovered my wife is the lightest sleeper on the face of this earth. It's not just that she could hear a mosquito fart from across the house, but so much as tip-toe into the room while she's passed out and she wakes up like some jacked-up CIA cyber-ninja "HUH WHO WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?..." who karate-chops your throat and breaks your face with the heel of her hand in the blink of an eye. Then, she sinks off back to comfy sleep leaving me a twisted, beaten mess. So when I give the inevitable "What the fuck?!?!" speech next morning what do I get? A dumbfounded canvas. NOTHING. Amnesia. Can't remember a goddamn thing. Completely REM and she's Bas Rutten cornered in a night club.
My Ex used to bite in her sleep. I woke up one night to a feeling like someone was trying to use a cookie cutter to take a chunk out of my shoulder blade and it was her having a midnight snack.
According to one of my exes, I did some really whack shit. It wasn't my breakfast beers, the operating heavy equipment shit faced, firing guns off the porch whenever the hell I felt like it, the general craziness involved with anything I did at that time. Nope, that was all endearing (To her.) When I made Chicken and Dumplings, I would use a recipe for drop biscuits for my dumplings. Like a normal human being. "Ewwwwww. It's like having soggy biscuits in my soup." (Her idea of a dumpling recipe? Eggs and flour....ie...rocks.) I had a very large outbuilding with barn doors (Hint) on each end. It had a hay loft. It was made out of unpainted corrugated tin. She would flip her shit when I said I was going to the "Barn." "That's not a barn. Barns have to be red." Damn Yankees.
Like Nom, I shed hair ties, bobby pins and hair. Husband is always asking, "How can this much hair be everywhere and you still have a ton on your head?" I can't help it. Apparently I do this thing in my sleep...where I roll over and take all of the covers with me, leaving him with next to nothing. I get so much crap for this on a regular basis. But, I'm asleep! It's not on purpose! I step out of the shower to dry off, leaving the mat pretty darn wet. Husband dries off while standing IN the shower like a FREAK! I didn't even know that people did this until recently.
Unless you're one of those Polar Bear weirdos why would you step out of a nicely heated shower to dry off? Not that Iver cohabited with a S/O but I know the fact that I snack on stuff that isn't really snacking food, Kraft Parmesan Cheese for one, has raised eyebrows with girls Ive dated. Just, you know, a handful of grated parmesan here and there. I pick at left overs until there gone instead of just eating them as meals.
Why the hevenly fuck would you step onto a DRY mat with your WET body in order to DRY off?? The shower is turned off. It is dry in there, except for maybe the floor. Dry off in there and if you must leave maybe the bottoms of your feet for the rug. The rug is to catch the drippings from you and the shower residue.
I tend to agree with others - why not just dry off in the shower. However, I'm willing to hear you out. Post a couple pictures of how you do this, maybe a video, so I can more fully understand.
I do the blanket thing, too, to the point that Boyfriend has come up with a term for it. I don't remember how it started, but when I roll over and steal the blankets he calls it enchilada-ing the blankets. I never thought to question it until right now, but it really doesn't make much sense. I also get out of the shower to dry off, but that has more to do with the fact that we have a claw foot tub with shower curtains all the way around it, so it's kind of like you're showering inside of a jellyfish. If I try to dry off IN the shower, I have to contend with the shower curtain nightmare. Since the early days, Boyfriend has been horrified that I will fall asleep with the lights on, and makes fun of me every time. I also prefer the bed to the couch, so he calls me a bedbug. I think this comes from living with roommates and feeling like my room was my only real space, but maybe it's just because I'm lazy. As for water glasses, I often have a partially full glass of water, but I just keep rinsing and refilling the same glass until I decide it needs to be actually washed. Boyfriend will accumulate glasses on every surface, all empty, mostly that just had water in them. It's water, I don't understand he needs a new glass every time. It just creates more dishes.
Never lived full-time with a girl but the last one who stayed over often informed me of some weird sleep things I do. In the summer, when it's too warm to sleep on my stomach buried under pillows and blankets like I prefer, I sleep on my back with my wrists on my chest, hands sticking out, sometimes but not always holding the sheet up under my chin. She called it my praying mantis sleeping position and said it was unattractive as fuck. "I looked at you and thought, 'Did I really just have sex with that an hour ago?'" More annoying, and something I kinda sorta knew I did, was half wake up suddenly and think something is wrong. "You sit up so suddenly it wakes me up, and you scan the room frantically with your eyes closed. Then you grab me hard with one hand and ask if I'm ok like three times, and slam your face back down into the pillow." Re: all you freaks...unless it's a hot summer day and you're taking a cold shower to cool down and air-dry, stepping out of the steam before drying off is insane. And there's something about a dude sleeping in only a t-shirt and socks that makes me think you should be on some kind of list. EDIT: Been seeing a girl very recently. Forgot about how much casual farting I do when home alone. She stayed over last night and when I went to the bathroom this morning I honestly farted for 10 seconds straight. Didn't even feel or sound like a fart. More like letting air out of a mattress through a tiny, supple hole.
I'm the same as sisterkath with the water glass and constant use. I also sleep walk and do some pretty strange things. When I was living further north it was fucking hot so I used to sleep completely naked with no sheets or blankets and the fan on full speed. I'd wake up wrapped in a towel sometimes and once wrapped in a pair of track pants. I've woken up cuddling my squash racquet, which I had to go to another room to get. The best one though was waking up outside lying on the gravel in only my underwear.
I can't stand open doors. All doors must be closed, unless they're in use (as in you're IN THAT ROOM actively). Fan must be on at night. MUST be. Even if it's -6 outside, the goddamn fan is staying on. Get another blanket. I pay to watch baseball in peace. Apparently, that makes me weird. Milk is expired two days before the date on the jug. I don't eat leftovers, except mexican food. I'm not a neat freak but I hate garbage. ANYTHING that's garbage. Especially paper, envelopes, junk mail. I like house plants and photos and glass pieces. Most everything else is junk and I don't want it. I'm not good with clutter. I have a lot of makeup, and it's generally in a contained mess on the counter - as are his shaving essentials. Make the fucking bed, if you're the last out of it. I'm generally easy to live with - clean up after yourself, don't eat my food (whether you're my child, we're married, or you're a guest - don't eat my food or drink my liquor without permission), and do your own laundry. Done.
Uh. What? You must be confused. Just because I don't stand to wipe like a freak, doesn't mean I have lost all reason and started wiping back-to-front.
Both my GF and I have some habits that we acknowledge, but generally realize they just are the way they are. Me: I like to collect/buy cool looking glasses, but I BARELY ever drink out of them. I buy a lot of seltzer and bottled drinks and 99% of the time I just drink out of the bottle because transferring liquid from one container to another is ridiculous. If I am eating something that is juicy or has a sauce on top, and I'm eating it with a knife, I always use the food on my fork to wipe off excess sauce from the knife. After.Every.Bite. This drives her insane for some reason. When eating ice cream I turn the spoon upside down before putting it in my mouth so the ice cream doesn't touch the roof of my mouth and I get brain freeze. Apparently this isn't "how it's done". I shower more than once a day. I live out of a laundry basket or just move huge piles of clothes from spot to spot until they are worn and need to be washed again. I purchase food at an alarming rate. I'm not a food hoarder or anything (that's up for debate), but the freezer is always fully stocked with food. I never let it get even 1/3rd of the way empty before I'm stacking some other "This was really cheap how could I not buy it" purchase in there. Her: She picks/pokes/scratches every little skin imperfection all over her face, neck, and chest. She has 3 or 4 of those 600x magnification mirrors positioned around the house and she's constantly in front of one. She doesn't shower every day. It's not like she smells at all, but I don't know how anyone doesn't shower at least once a day. It boggles my mind. She likes to "craft", but has no creative or crafty bone in her body. There are literally 3 or 4 half finished "craft projects" on the kitchen table at this moment. They never turn out right and they always look shitty. She sleeps CONSTANTLY. I've never seen someone take so many cat naps during a day after sleeping for 8 hours at night. Comes home from work, 15 minute nap. Going out for dinner, naps in the car. The wind blew southwest today, 15 minute nap. She loves 1970's black sitcoms for some reason. She has watched every episode of Good Times, Sanford and Son, What's Happening, The Jeffersons, 227, 3 times over and this is her go to programming when channel surfing. Except for the above, she doesn't like watching/reading anything twice. If a good movie comes on tv we've already seen, she will always pick something else to watch or complain there is nothing good on tv. She needs to sleep with a light on somewhere in the house. Doesn't matter if it's the kitchen, the bathroom, the porch, gotta have a light on somewhere. She WILL NOT walk around the house barefoot.
The times I've had roommates, it's worked really well. However I've never had an SO live with me, and there are certain things that would drive me out of my mind if they wanted to see a change: - There are three lights in my house that are left on always. All. The. Fucking. Time. During the daylight, during the evenings. In summer, in winter. When I'm home, when I'm away. Nothing pisses me off quite like coming home to a dark house. We've had several debates in my office - keeping lights on seems to be a hot-button thing. The last thing I want is to stumble around a darkened room looking for a fucking light. JUST LEAVE IT ON. - Can't sleep with a television in the room, or really noise of any kind. - I don't do house maintenance, if I can possibly avoid it. That means if you'd like the grass cut, the sidewalks shoveled or the house thoroughly cleaned either you're doing it or we're paying someone to do it (like I do right now). - Don't lock my doors. Like, ever. To the point that I don't even carry a house key with me, nor would I be able to identify my own house key if I had to. If you're one of those paranoid "lock the door the second you touch" types, then we'll have problems. Because the second most annoying thing in the world is coming home with a handful of groceries and not being able to open the door.
I do. They don't have access to the kitchen or bathrooms, because those doors are shut. If I'm in the baby's room or my bedroom, the door can be open and they have access to the upstairs living area and the room I'm in. If I'm downstairs, they're in the family room area with me, and closed out of the bedroom/bathroom/laundry room/tool room down there. Don't leave a room and leave the fucking door open. I can't deal with it. I'm like Dcc, I can't stand walking into a completely dark house. That's more related to personal history than preference though. Canis - I buy the Mlb.tv package every year and watch baseball in my bedroom on AppleTV or on my phone if The Husband is watching something. The kids have access to the app on their PS3 or 360, and they can login if they want, but I'm watching baseball. One way or the other.