Reading the End of Bachelordom got me thinking. I've never lived with a boo, and wondering what it would be like crosses my mind from time to time, of course. I have the tendency to get involved with guys that don't live in the same place as me, and while there are plenty of times where all I want is to very casually go over to his place after work for some snugging the long distance situation suits me in a lot of ways. Every now and then I'll tune in to what I'm doing when I'm puttering around the house alone and realize that I am a goddang weirdo and if I live with someone they're going to realize that even more than they do beforehand. Take the waterglass conversation in the other thread. It hit me recently that I hate drinking water out of glasses, and I think it's partially because I hate the idea of water sitting out in an open glass for a long time like that, since I'm usually sipping it more casually than juice or beer. So unless I'm in a restaurant I only drink it out of water bottles. If I don't have one to refill I'll refuse to drink water if it means drinking out of a glass until I'm so thirsty I can stand there chugging it until it's empty. Sometimes I end up accumulating a billion water bottles all over the place like a homeless person collecting them for change because I need one for my bag and one for my nightstand and one for my tote bag, and I don't know, a couple more for other reasons okay? I'm also terrible at sleeping, and besides worrying about subjecting someone else to that as they share a bed with me, I sometimes do weird things to try and go to sleep, like sleep upside down or sideways across the bed or on the floor. (I don't know why this works, it just does.) I'm sure I could create a whole list of things I'd be worried about sharing with and/or revealing to another person. Focus: If you don't live with a Romantic Other, what are you most worried about having them find out about or dealing with if you were to move in together? Alt-Focus: If you live with someone, what weird habits of yours were uncovered? Did you never realize something was unusual until they pointed it out to you?
Apparently these are my stranger habits, according to her: -Wiping while standing up -Drinking a glass of milk before bedtime -Eating frosted mini-wheats with orange juice instead of milk -Sleeping bottomless (t-shirt and socks, but no underpants). Apparently thats extremely unattractive.
No. The fact you call them underpants tells far more about you than seeing your wang at bedtime being unattractive.
We need a new mod to replace him seeing as he can't cover his junk while he sleeps and uses OJ instead of milk in cereal. What a FREAK.
Oh no you di-int! *snap snap* You did NOT just get all Sen-TRAY 21 an shit all up in her grill cuz Alt-Focus: I cut my bread slice corner-to-corner. She cuts hers straight across. We see each other's as anarchy and we refuse to back down. I'm sorry, but cutting it across corners is the way. It's convenient and sits on the plate better. I never ate meatloaf until I met my wife. Really, never. I liked it.
If collecting lawn mower repair manuals and eating onions like apples makes me as strange as she says it does, then so be it.
Heard of meat curtains, but never felt the need to refer to it as "meatloaf". You're a better man than me.
Juice's innumerable short comings aside, I fear everything about losing bachelorhood. Which has nothing to do with the woman I see. Past women? Yes. Christ. The memory of having to entertain them like children all day and night makes me nauseous. It is not that I have something to hide, but my refusal to alter my lifestyle. I like how I live. I like the things on my walls, the food in my fridge, the hours I keep, my social circle. Ultimately, I am unwilling to share my space. There is no worse hell to me than nick-knacks, random clutter. Things for the sake of having things. I recently put in storage my family's old furniture (end tables, curious). It had no purpose except to take up space. In fact, they will be sold shortly. These items will not be replaced with modernized pieces. Ever. The way some of you have been talking about women moving in, in-laws, arguments. It scares the living shit out of me. I don't want that. My blender stays on the counter. You will go in the cabinet before it does. I don't want kids either; not for a good decade. I am just now getting financially stable. There is a load of living left to do without my priorities, and funds, shifting to raising a life. I don't even own a houseplant. If that makes me immature, so be it. Alt. Focus: Probably my sleep patterns. I thrash all the time, mumble in my sleep, occasionally scream. Lashing out with kicks or punches is not uncommon. However, I am aware how completely insane that is.
Since the four I posted received a startling reaction, i asked her again of some other ones that she found troubling: -Flipping the cat over and blowing farts on his belly -Leaving my toothpicks around the house or dropping them on the floor -Putting too much food in my mouth when I eat -Talking back to the TV when I find displeasure in something that's on
The husband used to have to watch CSI in the other room because I constantly picked apart all their techniques and methods. Similarly, I scream at the TV everytime the "wash it with febreze" commercial comes on. Febreze doesn't wash shit. I also leave cupboard doors open. Constantly. I used to blame it on my roommates until I lived alone and it was still happening. I'm not sure why I do it. As I type this, I look over and one of the doors on the entertainment unit is open, and so are two of the kitchen cabinets.
I gag at an unreasonable volume when I brush the back of my tongue while brushing my teeth. I can't help it and apparently I'm weird because of it. My wife doesn't believe in chests of drawers for keeping your clean clothes. She thinks they should be commingled, shirts and pants and socks and such all together, and stacked in various places. That is freaking weird. I just recently got my own chest of drawers to put my clothes. I don't believe my wife has ever owned or used a mop. I find that weird. The floor is never particularly dirty, yet I've never seen her clean it so I can't tell you how she accomplishes it. It is rare that anything we own gets put away in the same place twice. When I lived alone I knew where my shit went. If she asks me to go get her something, I absolutely must ask her where it is or I won't be able to find it. Then I have to ask her again, because she misinformed me the first time. Happens every damn day.
When my then-fiance now-wife moved in with me, I had to start paying her college (because her hyper-conservative family was against co-habitation before marriage and also they wouldn't let her work during school). That basically gutted all my savings. All for a degree she has never used once. That was her annoying habbit. I'm not bitter. - I didn't like to fold my clothes. In fact, they never made it upstairs. I just took them straight out of the drier and dropped them in a pile on my air hockey table, then I picked what I wanted to wear for the day from that pile. - If you haven't grilled steak naked, you haven't lived. - Pissing outside. - What's a "drink coaster"? - My dog sleeps in the bed. - Why would you clean toilets? You're just going to take another shit in them anyway. - On that note, one habbit that persists to this day: I WILL NOT take a dump with the door closed. I refuse to hot box myself, and it's your problem if you're in the blast radius to smell it.
Apparently I'm really bad at finishing beers, and will open up a new one before the old one is done. Hair ties everywhere, which is usual for a lady but probably unusual for a guy. Half of them are broken because those things are cheap as hell. I have cut myself off for the past couple weeks, but when allowed, I drink a truly staggering amount of juice. I have terrible sleeping habits, and tend to fall asleep to screens (which everybody tells you not to do). Either on the couch, or in bed watching something on my computer. The flip side of this is that i'm a pretty low-key sleeper who can fall asleep nearly anywhere and doesn't need too many amenities. I'm sure there are more.
I'm the opposite with drinks, I despise wastage of alcohol. My filing system is a trunk that just gets everything dumped in it and cleaned out every time I move. My pool table is quite often mistaken for my wardrobe. Everyone is right about Juice being weird as fuck for sleeping without jocks on but for the wrong reasons. Sleeping naked is the only way to go, wearing socks and a shirt in bed is just fucking strange.