Every time you get a little power you abuse it!

Linkity.

For those too lazy to click the link, a 7 year old girl had her lemonade stand shut down because a health inspector walked by and demanded $150 for a temporary restaurant license. Protecting public health is one thing, but these people were being shitheads. Especially since this girl was clearly being sanitary about everything.

Focus: Everybody has had to deal with raging dicks that feel the need to shit all over everybody else's fun. What's your story? When has someone pee'd on your parade?

 

She made close to $2000.

In college when I lived in the dorms me and my buddies got a baby pool (the ones with animals going around the side) and put it in the lounge on our floor and filled it slowly but surely with trashcans from the bathroom showers. We also got a giant tarp and put it in the hallway and covered it in baby oil and had a pool/slip-n-slide party on the 5th floor of our dorm. We had about 50 people including our RA and RD there and the RD from another building complained and got it shut down.

 

Not to be a dick, but the mom should have known that you can't just set up shop at a local art fair and start slinging beverages, even if it's just your cute little 7-year-old. On the flip-side, the health inspectors should have probably just issued a light-hearted warning and just turned their heads the other way.

Focus: When my brother was in college, on the night before he turned 21, he was sitting around chugging beers in his apartment with his roomates. They were planning to head out to the bars at midnight, once he officially turned 21. They were sitting on the patio minding their own business, when the campus police approached them and asked them to show them their IDs. Despite the fact that my brother was literally hours from turning 21, they issued him a minor consumption ticket. He ended up having to get an attorney and racked up several hundred $ in legal fees to get it expunged from his record. What a shitty way to start off your street-legal drinking career.

 

I don't know the specifics, but Last Thursday art fair is pretty much just a block that is shut down in relatively residential area. She may have just been a few feet from her house selling drinks.

Focus: I was a kid in Oregon when this thing passed a while back. We spent every summer selling lemonade, and then one summer there was nothing. No kids, no refreshing drinks, nada. For a liberal hippy state, this was some bullshit. I completely forgot the thing was still in effect, but it's nice to see they're enforcing all the important laws in the great Northwest.

 

I guess I didn't realize that. I was thinking more in line of something like the Old Town Art Fair in Chicago. Isn't it a little odd for local health inspectors to be crawling all over such an insignificant event?

 

I would never buy lemonade from some kid on the side of the street. Kids are filthier than the guys working in the back of a restaurant kitchen. Most 7 year olds are lucky if they can wipe their asses without getting shit all over their hands, and who knows if they are capable of washing their feces laden hands.

 

I just buy a cup and pour it out when I get out of sight of the kids, I thought that is what most people did. Didn't think anyone would drink it.

 

Fuck that. I would open up a competing lemonade stand across the way made with real lemons. I'd cut my profit margin to zero to squeeze her out of business and pass rumors around hers has piss in it.

Best lesson she'll ever learn in business and a lot more helpful than some charitable bullshit.

 

I hate cops and lifeguards.

 

I would rather let the average 7 year old prepare my food then anyone I worked with when I worked in Hospitality. Because 7 year olds for the most part - don't jerk off.

If you've ever eaten anything from a fast food restraunt after 9 at night and you're worried about 7 year olds who made lemonade under their mother's supervision - you're doing it wrong.

 

I have a special hatred for the people who work at my university gym.

Like most "lowest common denominator" gyms, they cater to the idiots who want to waste their time doing curls and using elliptical machines. They regularly harass people who squat/deadlift barefoot, use chalk, or bring two pairs of shoes to the gym (you're required to keep all bags/belongings in the basement lockers). Even more frustrating is their neurotic habit of re-shelving all the equipment they see. If you have a pair of free weights anywhere in the gym and leave to take a piss or grab a drink of water, there's about a 40% chance it will be gone when you return. I bristle every time I see these guys because they have never once made my experience there any better, and every interaction I've had with them has always interfered with my workout.

Now, that is all typical behavior, and you can't really blame them for doing their jobs (even if their presence doesn't really add any value to the gym). But here are the two issues that annoy me the most:

- THEY DO THIS SHIT WHEN THEY'RE NOT EVEN WORKING. If they're just in the gym working out and notice an infraction, they'll tell you to stop whatever you're doing, and then notify someone working there. For the love of fuck, dude, do you really not have anything better to do with your time than bust someone for wearing the wrong foot attire. Get a fucking life.

- By far the biggest egos at the gym. Egos at the gym in general irks me, but it is especially frustrating to see it coming from the employees that harass me. The icing on the cake is that none of them is particularly strong (or particularly knowledgeable about training), but they still make the biggest show. Today I watched one of them wearing knee wraps and belt to box squat on a Smith machine. Even though he was only squatting 245 (with, I repeat, knee wraps + belt + box squat + Smith machine), he grunted out every rep like he was personally holding the walls of the gym together. Meanwhile, I can't deadlift in peace because I left my running shoes in the corner of the gym while weightlifting.

 

Focus: Story of my fucking life. Motherfucking government institutes a statutory determination scheme that completely misrepresents our costings and compares them to a totally different product in an "apples to oranges" method, and then brings in a price restriction because we're too expensive under the scheme.

Assholes.

Then there's the workers compensation determination where the claim against us was upheld because we weren't nice enough to a worker about the bullying that didn't happen.

I'm not making this shit up.

 

And on the same note, pretty well everything you've ever eaten has had a hair in it, or some other contaminant and you didn't notice.

Also, if your seven year old child can't wipe his ass properly then you've fucked up as a parent, although I realize that was just a example for the sake of humor.

 

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AHAHHAHAAHA this is great.

When I was a little kid I was feeling entrepreneurial and asked Mom and Dad if I could set up a lemonade stand. Mom didn't think this was a really good idea; she viewed it as some kind of panhandling and was a little worried that I'd get snatched up by a white panel van Adam Walsh style. She knew, however, that these were HER objections, and that I'd try to argue her out of them, so what did she tell me?

"You can't run a lemonade stand without a business license."

That was not her objection - it was the government's, and so I couldn't well argue with HER about it, could I? Besides which, this was the same government that was responsible for requiring me to go to school until I was 16 and that (in my mind) pulled Scooby Doo off the air at 4PM.

I figured, then, that I could get a business license. I asked her about it and I learned that these "business licenses" cost $100 and took 8 weeks (well past the end of summer) to process. When I objected that Scottie down the street ran a lemonade stand, she countered that he was doing so illegally and was likely to get fined if the police happened to drive by.

I'm going to have to tell her that she was right!

 

This. Holy fuck, are these people on a power trip. I'm engaged in a little game with these assholes right now. The main garage to our house opens to the side of our property, so the wall of that garage that faces to the front of the property has two windows. I have a second fridge and an upright freezer in there, along with a shelving unit to store bulk food items that don't require refrigeration, paper products, etc. Two vehicles are also parked in there. In the summer here, when outside temps exceed 100, and then you factor in the heat increase caused by two hot car engines, the temp in the garage gets sweltering which puts a lot more stress on the fridge and freezer, so I placed an exhaust fan in one of the windows to pull the heat out. The area outside the windows is nicely landscaped and as such, the fan is mostly concealed by some shrubs. After receiving 3 threatening letters from the HOA, we're now being fined $10/day until the fan is removed. I didn't acknowledge the original 3 letters, and I don't plan on acknowledging the fines.

What pisses me off further is fact that there's no consistency to the enforcement of HOA rules, e.g., no on the street parking after 10 pm, no storage of trailer or trailable units in view from your driveway. Three neighbors on my street alone store their boats in the driveway during the summer and thus, park all their cars on the street. Then there's the "architectural committee" that approves plans for any improvements visible to public view. I understand the principle behind it, I just don't like the way its executed.

The only real benefit I've derived from our HOA aside from good maintenance to the common areas was collective bargaining for leasing our natural gas rights.

 

Could not possibly agree with the both of you more. The Homeowner's Association in my neck of the woods fined me $50 for having a couch on my porch for two days(a friend of mine was waiting to move in to her new place and had nowhere else to put it). After that, I put two chairs on my porch for a smoking area, and TWO FUCKING DAYS LATER I got a call from the pricks. This is after they tried banning dogs from the whole area and literally everyone told them collectively to fuckoff.

 

I wasn't going to post in this thread but this HOA shit got my back up. Fuck all these Napoleonic pseudo tyrants. I moved into a gated community for the security of my Mrs. and midgets due to the fact I was working out of town quite often. I read the HOA rules ahead of time and they all "seemed" tolerable in theory, not in practical enforcement. The board keeps making rules that make no fuckin sense, the large developers that own the undeveloped lots are given 4 votes per lot rather than my 1, and the people on the architectural committee are fuckin retards with no practical knowledge. When I was landscaping my BACK FUCKIN YARD they required me to submit a drawing. I am a general engineering contractor and have a registered engineer on staff. We were a little slow at the time so I had him draw a set of scaled plans to submit to the committee. Fuckin assholes denied it 3 times because:
1. it doesn't show the distance from the curb to the fence (it's to scale asshole, and your on the architectural committee?) I had to go back and draw in distances to everything.
2. My form did not include my zip code. (really?)
3. I didn't include what type of flowers I was going to plant in my BACK FUCKIN YARD!

Now this may sound like someone has a grudge against me, but honestly we had just moved in and I didn't know anyone or have a chance to piss anyone off yet. This is just normal practice around here. Its so bad that my neighbor who is a CO, has takein to submitting a request once a week to change a lightbulb or a roll of toliet paper. (yes he is a crotchety old fuck who is doing it out of spite) because the fined him $50 a day because he went from black to redwood chips in his flower beds without their concent. He had to remove them, apply, was approved then replace them. FUCK HOAS

Perhaps I should have posted this in the Rant thread....sorry.