I was in Scouts and worked at the camp every summer I was in high school. I've also spent years deployed to locations with few to no women...never once did I think, 'whelp, I'm here for the duration, where's the dick' Not every camp's run by Jerry Sandusky
At least hes making some sort of effort by attempting to initiate AND tracking her limpdick excuses. Whats she doing? Maybe shes no good at sex. Maybe hes hung like a bear and it hurts. Maybe sex is like coffee for her and she gets it on the outside. He did take a look at the relationship and spelled in out. He coulda left or started banging one of her friends. Or according to CR, one of his friends. edit: I didnt click on the link, but now that i did, it sounds fake. Theyre both only 26? Why is she surprised he sounds bitter? And he did cut her off. Good for him.
Two immediate thoughts on the spreadsheet: 1) cold emailing this without a conversation is a serious dick move, there's a way to use this kind of analysis to improve a relationship and this wasn't it. 2) she very clearly has a self esteem issue. Look at the preponderance of "I feel gross" and "I ate too much." I mean, we've all been there, but every other night for 2 months? That's not the mindset of a particularly stable, confident individual. Bonus round: not once, but twice working out and then not showering until the next morning? Ewwwwwwwww.
To me, it tells me that she's not really into having sex with him. Which is bullshit. The fact that she frequently uses the, "I feel gross/I ate too much" excuse means she's doing it on purpose. Her mentality being "If I eat enough at dinner and top it off with a milkshake, I have a valid excuse to turn him down again." I've dated this girl. I dumped this girl.
I have totally turned down sex because I felt gross. Me, as a person, having nothing to do with him, he could have done absolutely everything right and I still felt disgusting and not up for sex. What I'm saying is that turning someone down because you feel gross is a legit thing every once in awhile, but if you're doing it that often, you have ISSUES. Issues that a dude should not necessarily have to deal with, and in fact given that these people are in their 20's I'd recommend they cut their losses.
Im convinced this whole thing was a fake, but... How do you know he didnt address it with her and she tried to blow him off again? I gotta think that sex isnt the only time he finds her dismissive. And what do you think those 3x were like? Im gonna go with the Starfish position.
No fucking clue, total ASSumption. Agreed on the starfish, I also find myself wondering why he actually wants to be having sex with her. Again, in his 20's. Lots of options. Options that will voluntarily have sex with you. Options that shower after working out.
...followed up by firm handshake, of course. I guess more than a few of us on here can go out on a limb thinking this isn't the sexual relationship where he twists her hair into a riding knot from behind.
Don't forget that a lot of mental health medications nuke your sex drive from orbit. And, seeing as women be crazy...
My wife's never had that effect on her, but then again I lucked out with my wife she likes sex more then any guy I know. I can count on one hand the number of times she has said no to sex and we have been together for 8 years. First words to the doctor after we had our kids, is "when can I get the IUD put back in?" We were having sex less then 2 weeks after her C-section.
I know more than a few people who will confirm this personally. The amount of guys who think that it's another horseshit excuse (it isn't) is surprisingly large.
There are different types of IUDs. I had a hormonal one. The worst part was, I didn't even notice how miserable I was until I took it out. I just felt blah all the time and didn't care about anything.
Really - this is an example of making an effort? He didn't communicate. He didn't do anything besides track, then bomb her with it. What he said boiled down to "We aren't having sex and I want to. I'm angry." not "We aren't having sex. I want to. Why, really, don't YOU want to? What can I do to make you feel more loved/appreciated/sexy/whatever?" And maybe it does come down to her not being attracted to him. Maybe it does come down to him being bad at sex. Maybe his idea of foreplay is a sloppy kiss on the mouth, then a couple of minutes fingering her before shoving his dick in. Maybe a lot of things. Maybe a whole lot of things. But - that's what real, uncomfortable, honest communication is about and from the (real or fake) image presented - they don't seem to be doing a whole lot of communicating. On much of any level. Re: Birth control. I've tried the shot. NEVER again. It was just...awful. I've tried the ring. That didn't work out so good for a couple of reasons. Switched over to the patch. Became damn near suicidal. I'll keep my birth control the old fashioned way - swallowing.* *I say that, even though it's unlikely I'll ever get pregnant again, but if I were to be able to - swallowing would still be my go - to. Everything else messes me up too much.
I love the assumptions that went into reading this article. Nothing about their relationship was given. (Mostly) women automatically assume that she was ambushed with it. (Mostly) men think shit must have been bad for it to escalate to this point. There obviously wasn't some talking and/or listening that happened. But the reaction to the spreadsheet itself a bit overblown, now there should have been some conversation before or after. But the actual spreadsheet? Need to get shit on paper, because arguments need to be supported with evidence. Ambush or not, its a starting point to a conversation (or an end). As long its true. I find it funny that something this plain would even be considered faked. It's just such an every day life thing that can easily happen. As Jwags said, its not a big deal if you work a gig that is 80% spreadsheets. Would it be different if he did it in MS Word using its chart feature? Sort of related, my gf before we moved in together tried to talk about everything we could and sex frequency came up. "Yeah, we're probably going to fall into a rhythm of 2-3 times a week, it's just how it is." Now after 1.5 years of long distance, this was a heated discussion. Now I wasn't upset because "Oh my god, I can't have sexy EVERY SINGLE DAY? THREE TIMES A DAY? BITCH." It was bothersome how 1) She based something off her last long term relationship. 2) She said it just so damn casually with the tone "It is what it is, not even going to try to change it, there is zero you can do about it." Now with more conversation was clarified was it's more due to her needing the recovery, but her initial framing was fucking terrible. Communication is important...
I think I speak for all of us worried that you wouldn't be able to obliquely reference your giant penis in this post when I say, "phew!"
I've never considered a lack of giant penis references as something to be worried about... just saying... Course I've never been to one of those gay camps or prison... not that there's anything wrong with that...
If Parker doesn't remind us regularly that he's got a giant schlong*, we all start to get anxious. By referring to it, somehow, in every post remotely relating to sex and most that don't, he keeps the universe in balance. *I have no idea if it's actually giant or not, but that's the rumor.