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Engaged, Married, Divorced-Relationship Roulette

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by downndirty, Jul 14, 2014.

  1. shimmered

    shimmered
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    SheGirl is right.


    The bolded part? Don't do that. That's a quick trip to a divorce attorney away from losing half your shit.

    And - if that's how your relationship is going right now - I promise you, there are healthier, more fulfilling ways to live.
     
  2. Revengeofthenerds

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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    The only thing serious about my post was the step-parent part.

    Holy shit you people are wound tight.
     
  3. Binary

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    Right.

    "Wound tight" is definitely the way I'd describe most of the members of this site.

    It's definitely not because you have a history of posting incredibly asinine comments.
     
  4. Juice

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    Keep in mind that sarcasm can be a tough thing to interpret online. What may seem tongue-in-cheek to you may be interpreted literally by others. Case in point.

    Anyway, so on the topic of step parents, if they formally adopt their spouses child, is becoming a disciplinarian similar to the actual parent still off-limits? Or is it dependent if other biological parent is still in the picture?
     
  5. Currer Bell

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    Isn't most of the time when a step-parent adopts, the bio parent is no longer in the picture? I'm just assuming. I know it is the case in my personal experience. My bio dad was not at all in the picture when my mom remarried, and my step dad formally adopted me. Even before the formal adoption I considered him my dad - the adoption just made it legal.
     
  6. katokoch

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    Any advice on saving money while ring shopping? My girlfriend wants to pick it out herself and not obsessive over size, which is totally fine me, so at this point I think it's a matter of where we get it from.
     
  7. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Haggle. Always haggle. My husband hates to haggle so I negotiated for my own ring. Got the price down to less than 50% of asking. Jewelry mark-up is atrocious.
     
  8. Juice

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    Keep in mind the following:

    Cut, Color, Clarity, and Carat are the main factors that will move the price in either direction. If shes not obsessive over size, go for a better color and clarity. Cut is really just a preference thing.

    Also, ask the jeweler if they have another light you can look at the ring under. All jewelry shops, especially major ones, are lit in a way to make everything sparkle, even the junk they want to get rid of. The lady that helped me at mine brought me over to a dim area of the shop without asking so I could see how it would really look.

    Know your price point before you walk in the door and a general idea of what your lady wants. The salespeople will try and throw a lot of shit your way, the more educated your are about it, the less theyll dick you around.

    Once you buy it, immediately get it insured through your home-owners insurance. Youll be glad you did. Dont bother with the jewelers insurance plans, etc.

    Lastly diamonds are sold at a huge surcharge. Prices are totally negotiable.
     
  9. shimmered

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    yeah if the stepparent adopts, the biological parent isn't involved anymore and the stepparent is now the parent.
    And so the dynamic changes.



    y'all - stepparenting is hard. It's ten times harder than parenting and even more full of land mines. It requires so much commitment to real communication. I encourage anyone who is considering it or who is having problems with it - talk to someone, find a local 'kids hurt too' type of class, something like that. Something where all parties can really learn how to navigate, because it's rough.
     
  10. xrayvision

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    Or you can just do what I do and avoid dating women with children like the plague.
     
  11. Nettdata

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    If you REALLY want to save money, get out of the "must have diamond" headspace.
     
  12. shimmered

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    That's also a solution - but it narrows your dating pool significantly.
     
  13. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    Sounds like an effective filter to me.
     
  14. Rush-O-Matic

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    This is cracking me up. Because, I thought shim was replying to "xray's don't date women with children" thing,; but, it's better if it's about your diamonds comment.
     
  15. shimmered

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    Yeah.
    Until you realize that your dating pool is now the 18-22 crowd who hasn't gotten knocked up yet or married yet, or the over 35 crowd who hasn't yet but may decide that before the clock runs out they want to, OR the 40+ crowd who...man, that's hit or miss.

    edit - I was definitely talking about the avoid women with kids thing.
    Not the diamond thing.
    I missed your reply.
     
  16. gamecocks

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    What about single, childless women between the ages of 22-35? They're in abundance down here despite the fact that we marry them off quick.
     
  17. shimmered

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    Those are like unicorns where I'm from, and now? In association with the military? yeeesh.
     
  18. E. Tuffmen

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    Those are called Unicorns.

    edit: HA beat me to it!
     
  19. xrayvision

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    Around here, there's a whole slew of women in the "young professional" category who aren't nailed down in relationships because they were more focused on education and working. Not that other women weren't, but when you have a kid really young, it usually stunts educational progress and fair or not, it makes getting a job in the professional world very very difficult.

    But I personally love dating someone who can take care of themselves and isn't looking for someone to be their child's father or a financial safety net. Its nice when people would rather choose to be together than need to be together.
     
  20. shimmered

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    I'm going to throw prenups into the discussion. Husband and I have one - it was an easy discussion. For some people - not so much. If either of you come into the marriage with assets and things like that - you may want to have that discussion, as well.