This is not something that every single American alive should be completely ashamed and/or embarrassed over. No, they should think “This is cool and/or patriotic” and be proud of their leaders, who are not global-scale laughingstocks whatsoever.
Secret Service isn't seriously going to let him eat from there, right? That's gotta be a huge poisoning risk. Or, maybe they SHOULD let him eat from there...
What good does it do them to poison him? They’re oil barons. They pay him and he gives them what they want. The system works.
Beat me to the punch. There’s no better poison than coming up with the perfect scientific combination of vegetable oil, starch and corn syrup to turn a Happy Meal into the food equivalent of China white heroin.