My favorite radio show (the Mikey Show, San Diego mornings, rock 105.3) has just imploded. They've been up for contract renegotiation for a while now, and had made it clear that today was the last active day of their contract. Everyone was worried. Will they be re-signed? Will they move to another station? They're like family to each other, and almost to their listeners. Then, today we tune in, to hear a message about how Clear Channel radio has signed every member of the Mikey show... except Mikey. They say he opted to go to another station for more money, which, if you listen to him regularly, you know is not something he would do. The rest of the cast stayed on with Clear Channel on rock 105.3, which, if you listen regularly, seems very odd. Conflicting information from both sides, with an explanation promised for Monday. I've been listening to these guys for 25+ hours a week for five years. I feel like I just lost a family.
Claws=teeth in unmentionable areas. Then again....if she can swim she might be useful for fishing anyways. If the neon earrings don't attract fish, she can swim at them vag first and bite the ever loving shit out of them with her unfortunately placed teeth. If I could find a woman to take that hunting method to land I would have all sorts of venison in the freezer. And personally I would pay a small fortune to watch a woman take down a deer with her girly parts and I'll bet others would too. I would be wealthy selling the videos on the 'net. "See the girl with the neon earrings?" "Just watch this...Oh fuck, that poor deer! She just took it out with her 'giner. That's pretty fucked up and really fucking disgusting. It was slimed to death." People would pay good money to watch that shit.
OK now im drunk. I convinced my roommate to watch " The Wrestler" with me. Fuck thats such a good movie. Now my roommates leaving to go bang his girlfriend, and Im here alone, and I just finished the last beer. Time to move on to the bottle of Sailer Jerry. My old tv broke, now i cant figure out how to make the cable box work on the "new" (old as fuck tv i got for free) tv i just got. guess its time to put another movie in. Boogie Nights sounds like a good call to me.
That movie blew nuts. That, Slumdog, and No Country were all over-hyped, critics-darling, un-entertaining pieces of shit.
If you insist on having tacky, light-up reindeer in your front yard this holiday season, then please do not chase me down your drive-way when I fall into the temptation of positioning them sexually. Especially when they are of the mechanical variety.
Talk about it. It's a beautiful view, at least. Here's to the end of a fucking hard semester and a tough year in general. My brother essentially dropped out of his (very good private) university because of emotional problems, school kicked my ass for the first time in a long time, I got swine flu, etc., etc. Yet I, ever the optimist, hold out hope for 2010. Here's to becoming an adult.
"Just watch this...Oh fuck, that poor deer! She just took it out with her 'giner. That's pretty fucked up and really fucking disgusting. It was slimed to death." I'm picturing the Kraken from Pirates of the Caribbean as Giner and Toytoy as the hero trying to slay the mighty beast. He's throwing empty bottles of bourbon at it, screaming "COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE" to Pimptress, all while dressed as a camo Captain Jack.
But but but Tucker and the Bunny liked them?!!! abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzzyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba HECK YES I GOT IT ! edit I'm drunk, for the 37th consecutive weekend. THIRTY SEVENTH. That's bad, right? Like shit, I'm not even legal in the US... Cirrhosis? edit typo.
Does anybody know if Blue Dog is alright? I'm picturing him so drunk that he's running through the field at his hunting camp with no clue where he is, typing random words onto TiB. Toytoy88, how can anybody swim anywhere vag first? Do the teeth mean they have gills and flippers someplace else?
Good question. Apparently in my inebriated state I didn't think the logistics of the whole plan through thoroughly. I suppose I would have to rig up a giant slingshot and kind of shoot her in the general direction of the fish. Tell me people wouldn't pay money to watch a video of that shit...especially in Japan. As a side note regarding the above post about the lighted deer lawn ornaments: A few years ago I saw something horrifying. Some redneck took a deer skin complete with the head and rack, draped it over a saw horse and strung Christmas lights on the carcass. The surprising thing is I wasn't in Mississippi at the time. There were a couple letters in the paper about this abomination with one person writing about her traumatized children. It almost made me wish I'd come up with the idea.
The words "Reba McEntire nude" were in my Google toolbar this morning. I have no excuse for myself. Goddamn German beer.
I drank four ICB's and 2 glasses of Laphroaig and then passed out at 12:30. Fuck me those all nighters caught up to me in a hurry. HOWEVER! We have half a case of Guiness left and I plan on buying some more Jameson and Bailey's tonight for after hockey! Toytoy's depiction of my night may become reality this evening. I'll post pictures if it happens.
Concur on No-Country, I mean, I didn't even get it. Unless it was supposed to be a disjointed, open-ended, unmitigated disaster of film making. Then, I got it. Looking to get 10 more inches of snow here, and I have started to drink. God Bless.
Holy shit. I just did a google image search for "Porsche Raspberry" and found this picture: That's one of my buddy's cars (And trust me that fucker is scary fast). I even stole his moniker for a personalized plate at one point in time:
The medical establishment doesn't like when people admit to things like this, but you have to drink a lot, on a daily basis, for years on end, before you have to worry about alcoholic liver disease, much less cirrhosis, which is the end-stage non-reversible part of alcoholic liver disease. In other news, the odds of you getting HIV when having sex with an infected person is about 0.1 per hundred acts of intercourse (notwithstanding any confounding factors, like open sores or bleeding); 0.3 if you're going anal. Even less for female to male transmission. People get this look of horror on their faces when I tell them this, revealing their inner conflict: they know it's true, but wish it weren't. I suddenly remember that a buddy brought a bottle of port to our party last night, but then apparently left with it. Asshole. I friggin' love port and don't get to drink it nearly enough.
The thought of fucking someone with "open sores" makes me cringe. The swedes are invading tonight. Should be a busy time.