So I'm sitting in my office today... Feeling like crap... Downing enough water over the past two days to float Kirstie Alley while STILL feeling completely dehydrated... Reliving in my mind the traumatic experiences of yesterday... Wondering where my lost innocence is being detained while it is being beaten upside the head with a hammer made out of machetes (Did you know that innocence is Machetable? 'Cause it friggin' IS)... You know, as a straight male, there are really only two ways to feel after having somebody put their fingers up your butt. There's this: ... And this: So naturally, I know that yall are thinking the same thing I am at this point- Let's friggin' Party. (Well, THAT, and that I might just be the oldest 28 year old in existence. Estas Bullcrap.) Woo.