Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 I just made Wolfgang Puck's Pork Goulash. Add an extra tablespoon of paprika, a couple potatoes, and you're good to go. There's a bottle of Beaujolais Village in the fridge, singing to me. So I am going to finish that, watch BBC's The Trip, then cry myself to sleep alone. Very tempted to turn my phone off. Remove the temptation to go out and spend money.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 The girlfriend has been killing me lately. I drove into the city one day to park and I parked close to a hydrant. She said as long as I was 5 feet away, I would be fine. Turns out the law is 15 feet. Then, the other day she called me 2-3 times in a row as I was driving out of the city. On the third attempt I finally picked up, and bam, pulled over for non-hands-free cell phone usage. This past weekend her parents, who live in Austin, came to visit her and wanted to meet my parents while they were in town. I would have preferred to save such a meeting for much later in the future, but they were keen on it since they weren't going to be in town again for a very long time, so we figured ok, let's let them meet. They had heard I'm not very religious but to test me, they decided they would ask me to pray with them as a test. I didn't pray so I failed the test and they decided they didn't want to "give this union our blessing." So yesterday I met up with them for coffee for a one-on-two honest conversation. I had to stretch the truth to get them to come around but I think I mostly succeeded. But now they've decided I can be convinced to be Muslim again so they are sending me various resources for islamic edification. Now tomorrow I have to drive in to the city again to help her move...and then I'll have to do it again since she and her friend have to move out of where they are tomorrow but don't have another place set up quite yet, so are moving to a friends place until they get things figured out. In summary, yes, I could use a drink.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 repped him asking the same thing thinking I would be the only person to pick up on that. Then scrolled down to the very first post. Dur. This weekend is BrewFest which I'll miss since I'll be working but will be there for the after party. Then its Sunday Funday. The GF has a new job and doesn't want to be hungover Monday (something about wanting to be all responsible and shit) so I'll have a DD all day.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 I just got off work, and don't have to go back for about 12 days. Tomorrow we are leaving bright and early to drive to Ohio, and Sunday we are flying out to spend a week here: I'm super pumped, but for now, I'm drinking and putting off packing.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 I feel like all I've been doing today is telling teenagers that they can't get pregnant if they're wearing clothes, and never ejaculated. Oh wait, that's because that is all I've been doing today. What the hell? Was there some news story about someone who got pregnant from precum soaking through two layers of underwear? Because I've had this exact conversation a couple of dozen times today.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 Where in the fuck are these people calling from? I didn't think that abstinence-only sex education was really THAT effective at producing another generation of morons...apparently I was wrong.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 I talk to people from all over the country. A lot of them are from Florida and California, but they're all over the place. I think you would immediately throw up if you knew how little teenagers know about sex and pregnancy these days. It's frightening. But, also, extremely entertaining if I don't think about it too hard.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 Gotten any questions about the stuff that gets up around the sides of condoms yet? Better yet, anybody called and told you their penis size and then asked if they needed to use the magnum size condoms or not? I had that once. Well, not me. A big black guy came in and asked the skinnier-than-me 5'5 Asian student working with me that question. Poor kid had no idea what to say.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 I sympathize. I firmly believe sex-ed should be a tasteful porn/softcore, or at least something that SHOWS a kid how the plumbing works. Try having your prudish, uncommunicative mother attempt to explain sex to you in the vaguest terms possible. I had no idea the mechanics of a vagina, let alone any clue what one could possibly look like until I was 12 or 13 and the internet arrived. In fact mom never even used the word "vagina." Before that I was convinced babies came from a woman's asshole. Now, as an adult I know that's just stupid... babies don't come out of a woman's ass, but if you're German those gals sure do enjoy shoving objects that large into their ass.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 ...especially smaller Germans. Christ, I grew up in the 80's and started getting taught sex ed in grade five but still didn't get the big deal. "WHY would I want to do THAT to a girl???"..was the general opinion. We needed real-time evidence, and I knew only two kids whose dads had porn tapes (this WAS a time when most people still had rotary phones and razors weren't too popular). These were the "classy" dads that left Playboys out on the coffee table even when they had company over. Before we watched one of those tapes, I just knew sex was something that adults desired very much and sometimes resulted in death. Afterwards, I realized that it was something that looked really hilarious and gross. Still does.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 On the flip side I had to tell a 20 year old incredibly stupid guy that, no, I am not just going to order a semen analysis on you just in case you are infertile, because even though you have never actually tried to conceive and have no significant other and no plans of actually trying to conceive (by your own admission) for a "long time", you are oddly worried about it. We are not in the practice of checking things out "just because", not a good use of the health care dollar, and I don't order things for absolutely no reason. Not to mention that lots of things can change between now and a "long time" from now, so when you are ready come back and we'll address it then. Although if he was infertile, it would be doing mankind a huge service. And people wonder why the cost of insurance is so exorbitant.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 What size DO you have to be to use magnum condoms? To put it in my jobspeak, "That's not a topic we discuss on this line."
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 The one thing I noticed about sex ed was the kids who paid the most attention were the ones who were the least likely to be having sex. Continuing on that theme I ended up taking intro to human sexuality in college 3 times as a couple of my fraternity brothers paid me to do their online coursework. This made me one technically sexually educated 19 year old virgin.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 I was buying a box of the Trojan Fire and Ice condoms two weeks ago and I accidentally bought the Large size. I opened one up in the heat of the moment and I was freaking out because I didn't think I would fit in there, but I did. The opening ring is about the same size as a regular condom, the head is just alot bigger. It was baggy on me but it ended up working and I'm about average.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 It's all in the diameter. Where I work we have a box of condoms free for the taking with a label on top saying "larger size available". The normal size has a nominal diameter of 52 mm; the larger size has a nominal diameter of 56 mm. The large size are also 5 mm longer, but, well, you know. 185 vs. 190 mm of length isn't much of a difference, really. People mostly just make jokes about the larger size. Nobody's seriously asked me for them yet.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 Fixed. I'm tempted to post that study that correlates IQ with the age at which one loses their virginity, but it's too depressing. I'm surprised he gets laid. I'm not angry, just disappointed.
Re: Thursday Drunk Thread, 'Cause I Do What I Want! 5/17/12 Along with being angry slash sad for the teenagers who don't use birth control because they don't have access to it/can't afford it/are idiots, another eye-opening part of this job has been that there's this whole other side of the spectrum where teenagers are so terrified of getting pregnant that they don't trust birth control whatsoever and think that every single thing results in pregnancy. I have a dozen conversations a day with girls who are like "I'm on birth control, and he used a condom and I made him pull out and I took Plan B, but I know I'm pregnant because I'm nauseous." Yeah, you're nauseous because you're neurotic. And of course I can't tell them that they're being overcautious, but I want to be like "You know you're allowed to enjoy sex, right? Let the dude stay inside you when he cums if he's wearing a condom, especially if you're on birth control anyway." It makes me so sad for those poor boys.