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Eau du Humanity

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Crown Royal, Feb 20, 2012.

  1. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Doe urine, particularly estrus, is fucking gross. You ain't picking up anybody with that trust me*. I like a combination of bore solvent and gun oil. Let her know I handle dangerous weapons. It's all about the allure of danger.








    *and of coarse there is the Axe body spray of the deer lure world Buck Bombs. Just repulsing bitches.
     
  2. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Ummmm...umm....umm......duh?

    I'm sorry, but please tell me that stuff is "Natural Vaginal Woman Scent".

    The internet has been brought to a close. Proof:
    And with that, I'm going outside and smoke that from my memory. Srsly.
     
  3. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Makes you wonder how they extract and collect it.
     
  4. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I feel the same about Human Growth Hormone.

    If some sciencey-type in here could explain I would be greatful. Just let me make popcorn and get in my jammies first.
     
  5. dixiebandit69

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    FOCUS: I don't wear any colognes; I'm a heterosexual man, and I'm not French. My natural manly aroma is enough to give most women the vapors.
    If you smell anything on me, it's whatever bodywash and deodorant I've been using. (lately I've been using Old Spice products. They work well.)

    ALT-FOCUS: I really don't give two shits what a woman smells like, as long as she doesn't stink.

    Here's a tip for the ladies: Stop putting perfume on your necks. When I'm kissing your neck later, you taste bitter because of it.

    EDIT: A tip for ANYONE who wears cologne/perfume: GO EASY WITH THAT STUFF. Just because you like the smell, that doesn't mean that everyone else wants to smell it too.
    If it's making everyone's eyes water around you, you should probably use less.
     
  6. FreeCorps

    FreeCorps
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    There you go.
     
  7. Ton80

    Ton80
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    I rock a rarity the few times I head out smelling purdy...DKNY for Men. I love the subtle smell it has, and the fact that I've never met anyone else who wears it. Good stuff if you can find it.
     
  8. sartirious

    sartirious
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    Disturbed

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    Eau de Hoppe's No. 9
     
  9. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    Fuck yes.

    There was a CSR where I would work who would douse himself right before he got out of the car or something. He would leave a scent trail, like a cartoon pie coming out of the oven. You could actually walk through the building and tell where he had been.

    He once came to my desk when I was away didn't leave a note. But when I came back, I smelled his cologne and knew he was there, so I went to customer service to see what he needed.
     
  10. StayFrosty

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    [​IMG]

    I've been using that on occasion for years. Never had any complaints about it.

    One of my Christmas gifts was thisset. Honestly, for something that cost $20 at Walmart, the scent is surprisingly pleasant. Too bad the cologne lasts about two minutes, and the body wash as long as it takes to towel off.
     
  11. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    For the past 4 or 5 years I have used Softsoap's Mango Pomegranate body wash. I love the way it smells and it must stick to me like a faint perfume. El Husband asked if I wore perfume when we first started dating and I had no idea what he was talking about. It hit me about a day later that he could smell my body wash.

    I'm screwed if they ever discontinue that stuff.
     
  12. katokoch

    katokoch
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    I just looked and Hoppe's actually makes No. 9 Air Fresheners. Tempting...
    http://www.hoppes.com/products/ca_air_freshener.html
    Just be certain you have the cap to your bottle of doe/coon/fox/whatever piss tightly shut before you do anything else... trust me...

    Focus: Old Spice deodorant and body wash is good enough most days but if the occasion calls for it, I put a couple sprays of L'Occitane in the air and walk through the mist. That's my trick to ensure the scent is not overfuckingpowering because I respect mankind and my own nose.
     
  13. downndirty

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    This stuff is expensive, hard to find, and the bottle (despite being pretty) either hoses you with the stuff or doesn't actually work at all, but it's tits:

    [​IMG]

    I only wear that when I'm doing something formal, but The Girlfriend has threatened to drink the bottle she loves it so much.

    Daily, I wear this:
    [​IMG]

    It's a nice, casual scent that not everyone and their brother has. I admit to being a bit heavy-handed with the stuff, because I try to avoid smelling like every other Westerner here (a blend of sweat, cigarettes, booze, coconut suntan lotion and that special dietary regret that only happens in countries that don't use toilet paper). My aunt used to work in a duty free shop, so I got a nice, exotic bottle twice a year from her and she generally had good taste.

    For something a bit more recognizable and citrusy, my ex was addicted to the smell of this stuff and begged me to wear it:
    [​IMG]
     
  14. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    I'm surprised that no one has mentioned this classic yet:

    [​IMG]
     
  15. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    My favorite to wear is Michael Kors. I love the way it smells and I feel yummy when I wear it. Back in the day I picked up some Oil of Olay face wash and used it before going to bed. My boyfriend went absolutely CRAZY. Really, boyfriend? It reminded me of my grandmother. He took a whiff of grandma face wash and couldn't keep his hands off of me.
     
  16. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    [​IMG]

    Wear it, and you might as well throw on a condom before you go out just to save time.

    That shit is can't miss. Just walk up behind her in the bar, throw and arm around her half-spilling your drink and say "We're meant to be. I got Hai Karate and you got Body Karate.

    Then BOOM, she fractures your pelvis from pure fuck force right there on the dancefloor. Men will high-five you and women will line up for you.

    I'll never forget the first time I got cologne. For Christmas when I was 16, I started getting "grown up" gifts like an electric razor, and a bottle of Polo.

    Polo has been around for quite a while, and it's old fashioned manly-man sandalwood nose rape. I had no idea how much to apply, so I thought you just keep putting it on until you yourself could smell it constantly.

    ...which was a FUCKLOAD of cologne. Then, we went to go watch our school's city championship hockey game at the big arena in town, and I had a six-foot radius of fucking NOBODY around me in the bleachers because I was so potent. It looked like I had a Mariokart force field or something.

    In other words, it was awesome.
     
  17. KillaKam

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    Not really a cologne wearer anymore, I really don't see it as something I need to have. Don't see it as that useful in attracting females but I'm sure at times you may get a bit more attention if your wearing something that they like.

    I remember getting a bottle of cologne for my birthday in around 7th or 8th grade. Yep..I was that fucking pretty boy back then. It was CK One, and I always went way overboard with it. Oh yeah....gotta put on that smell good for the SPIRIT dances!

    I wore Acqua Di Gio for a while also. Always been a fan of the stuff. If I were to go back to cologne I would probably try Cool Water or something Lacoste...something like that.

    Seems to me that just getting out of the shower and a good deoderant (Old Spice High Endurance) is all you need really.
     
  18. lust4life

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    Armani
    Aqua di Gio
    Van Cleef & Arpel
    PS Paul Sebastian
    Clinique Happy for Men
    Lagerfeld
    Pinaud Clubman
     
  19. CharlesJohnson

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    When I was a courier one of my regular stops was Chanel on Worth Ave. in Palm Beach. If anyone is familiar with Worth Avenue, they know it is a half mile strip of the priciest clothiers, retailers, and jewelers like Rodeo Dr is to L.A. Come mid-day in a Florida fall, after 5 hours stuffed in a broiling car, you look a bit, uhm, haggard. So I walked in to this immaculate store with marble floors to pick up around $5000 worth of ugly clothing an equally ugly septuagenarian with a stiff botox face wanted delivered. My company shirt was 2 sizes too big and most likely smelled all man (onions). One of the perfectly quaffed gay men working the counter took one look at me from across the room, scuttled over, and before he said one word blasted me with a free sample of Allure Homme. "Oh, there you go, sweetie. You needed this."

    I'll be damned if that wasn't some of the best stuff I ever smelled. That half ounce or so sample, I made it last. I'm looking at an ad for it right now. Goes for fuckin' $89. I'll make a deal with any gal here. If she wants to go halfsies with me she can smell me any time she wants. Morning, noon, or night. OK, maybe even some of the prettier dudes here, but you need to submit an application first.
     
  20. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I honestly am shocked at the amount of guys that wear cologne. When I asked my wife about it she said 'yup, you're the only guy I've dated that doesn't wear cologne.'

    I just always assumed it was something guys tried in middle/high school then decided that they weren't gay and moved on. I stand corrected.

    I also spend about $200 on my wardrobe a year (not including sneakers and jackets - though I buy sneakers once every three years or so and jackets once every 5-10 years) so I'm guessing I'm in the minority on all things fashion related.