Eat my pussy or I'm going to cut your fucking throat.

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Knife wielding woman demands her husband eat her pussy.

Focus 1: Discuss this story

Focus 2: What is the strangest sexual request someone has made of you?

Focus 3: Ever been this desperate for sex? What did you do to quench your thirst?

 

Let's get the following out of the way:

• Forcing anybody to perform a sexual act under threat of violence is bad, mmkay?
• If the roles had been reversed and it had been a man asking a woman to eat his pussy, there would be MORAL OUTRAGE HURF DURF!!!
• This is VERY SERIOUS and NOT TO BE MADE FUN OF.

Anybody who feels compelled to make these points again will risk being hit with the Banhammer of Redundancy.

That said, I would have grabbed a washcloth, wiped her up as best I could, and gotten to work. I don't really need a stabbin'.

 

Focus 2: I have actually had a girl proposition me. Like, we had a full 45 minute conversation that I was totally convinced was going to be the "so even though you're a really nice guy, I don't want to date you anymore" kind of talk, and it even seemed to be going that way for 99% of it, but she ended it with, "So... do you think we should sleep together?"

I was so convinced that it was never going to happen that I'd already beat off twice that day. I was floored. Of course I was also well past tipsy and approaching shitfaced, so that didn't happen. But when you think about it, a girl propositioning a guy is pretty fucking strange, given that said guy is me and I am not a movie star, rock star, or anything of that sort. Usually there's less talking and more doing when it comes to sealing the deal, at least in my experience.

Focus 3: Nothing too revolutionary, but I was going through a pretty rough dry spell right around my 21st birthday, so I found a flimsy excuse to check out the local strip club scene and lucky for me, indoor prostitution was legal at the time! 300 dollars later I was in the company of 2 very aggressive and CRAZYYYYYYYYY strippers and now have a memory to last a lifetime. No herp tho, thank God.

 

I had a girl ask me to look into her eyes as I came. I know I know, it was weird.

 

I would think the woman in that sort of situation would have all sorts of questions.

 

My first thought when I saw the title was how ugly does this woman have to be to need to do that? Then I saw the picture. Oh, that ugly.

 

Focus 2: I'm not sure what was going to happen because I didn't stick around, but I went home with a guy who pulled out a snorkel, a shower curtain, and a big black dildo. He also said he was into latex.

Focus 3: I managed to go all the way through high school, and almost all of college without losing my virginity. On my 22nd birthday, I decided to go to the party of a guy who had been hitting on me all year. He wasn't the most attractive guy in the world, so when I got to the party, I got to drinking.

Cut to a few hours later. I am in his bed, sans pants, bra, and panties. It's at this point that he tells me he doesn't have a condom. This is a kid who has been hitting on me my whole 4 years of college, and now that I'm here, he loses interest. So, being brown out drunk, I start giving him a blow job, thinking that if he gets it up he'll find that condom. Half way through the blowie, he taps me on the head as if he's going to cum, then goes into the bathroom and finishes himself off. As he's doing this I fall asleep in his bed because it's about 3 am by this point. He shakes me awake two hours later to tell me he has a girlfriend and I can stay if I want, but he would prefer I sleep on the couch. It was at this point that I decided to just call it a night and walk back to my apartment. This night, as well as the night I got my tooth snagged on a guy's foreskin, has kept me from giving a blow job ever since.

 

If the smell was that strong, I can't imagine anyone could actually follow through. I think I'd end up vomiting on her vagina, and which point a very important question is raised:

Does the vomit disgust her enough that she withdraws her request, or are we about to see a whole lot of new reaction videos on YouTube?

 

Focus 1: This whole direct-communication-of-your-sexual-needs thing actually works?! Guess so--she got someone to say "yes" before they got within sniffing range! Kudos, lady. If she had coupled that request with a gas mask she'd be in business....actually, he'd be in her business. I'm guessing that alcohol contributed to her lack of foresight in this area, yes?

Focus 2: Oh, God. Bad memories.

I had a bad sunburn that was just beginning the peeling stage and he wanted to fuck me doggystyle while peeling the skin off my back. WEIRD AS FUCK.

Focus 3: Craigslist. I know, I know.

 

No nudity, however, potentially NSFW due to language.

 

Focus 2: Ever had a girl vividly describe a rape fantasy (with you as lead villain) at 2AM? There was no rope within reach so I had to tie her hands using the belt I had worn out that night. Fuck a Batman. That's some utility right there.

She was crazy and I ultimately regretted ever speaking to her. But at least I have the stories.

 

Alternate #2 I've posted this before in the 8 things every guy should do thread. It wasn't exactly a request. She just kinda went for it...

One night I'm bringing home a girl after a night at the bars. She's a gorgeous Indian girl (from India, not Native American), all of 95-100 lbs. Here I am, a 5'10" 225 lb rugby player. As we're walking home, all I can think about is how badly I'm going to break this girl and worried about how I'm going to reattach her jaw and how much giner' surgery is going to cost her when I'm finished. We get back to my place and start hooking up. Not even 10 minutes in, clothes come off and I find myself with 3 new hickeys and my back shredded with nail marks. "Silly little girl, she doesn't know what she's in for...", I think to myself. I've had kinky girls before, this is nothing new. We start fucking with me on top and I'm pile driving this girl for a good 30 minutes. All the while she tells me "Harder! Come on, you're supposed to be a rugby player, you hit guys harder than this. Are you gay or something?" in this cute little Indian accent. I'm appalled. I'm crushing this girl's guts through her chest and she's questioning my sexuality. After another ten minutes or so of jack hammering her, she rolls me over and starts blowing me. She looks up and says, "Tell me before you cum." I figure she doesn't want a mess in her mouth, so I oblige a couple minutes later. Instead of pulling out of her mouth, she shoves her finger into my ass as I climax and I thought I was going to blow the back of her head out. It was unbelievable. And so wrong. She swallowed and asked if I liked it. I was speechless. She went down the hall to use the bathroom and I sat there with a slowly developing case of PTSD for the next week. She gathered her clothes silently, put on necessities and told me to call her in the morning and we'd get breakfast. I wasn't man enough to do it.

A 100lb Indian girl absolutely ran train on me that night and I still haven't recovered.

 

Focus 1: I think that the title of this thread would make an excellent T-Shirt. Not sure about the graphic to go with it.

 

Without running afoul of the good Doctor's decree, let me just say that the comments in that thread are unintentionally hilarious.

Anyways, my sex life is at Durbanite levels right now. The Egyptian girls do not talk to Americans and the American girls cannot act like American girls. You really do have to leave the country to miss our casual sex and loose morals.

I think I can hold it together for another month and a half, though. So insh'allah there will be no knife-wielding sexual Fort Hood moments in my future.

 

Focus 1: I don't really give a shit.

Focus 2: One time, I was at a bar, and this big, 6'4", falling-down drunk, shaved-bald guy hobbled up to me and slurred "Dude, come fuck my wife with me. You take her pussy and I'll take her ass." I told him, no, it was cool, I was married, I can't cheat on my wife, and he said "Okay, I'll find someone else." Half an hour later, his wife comes up to me on her own. She is *hot*. Just this really cute brunette, real girl-next-door type. She says "Hey, my husband passed out, would you be interested in fucking me now, just you and me?" Again, I had to turn her down, because I was married. Man, I wish I hadn't been married at the time. Would have been the hottest girl I ever fucked.

Focus 3: Jacked off.

 

I knew I was in a sexually-oppressed conservative Muslim country when after a couple months I was actually turned on by a woman who was wearing knee-length shorts. I distinctly remember thinking Damn, those calves look sexy and then whimpering silently at how much I needed to see cleavage.

 

It's by no means the most scandalous story that you'll ever read, but I was sleeping with a chick in college who loudly asked me to come in her hair. I didn't. I was under the impression that women don't necessarily like that. Besides... I was fucking an ex once and I accidentally got some in her hair. She was a bit prissy. She acted like I'd just dumped sewage on her head. Few things say "DON'T come in my hair" like that.