Holy crap. Maybe it's the 4pm whiskey giggles, but that picture is brutally fucking funny. I'm dying here. Nom, you should make it a greyhound night. Gin and grapefruit juice. Vodka and grapefruit juice. People want to piss in the wind and say that one or the other is the traditional way, but both are great. For the record, I don't like gin or grapefruit juice, but mix'em together and it's pretty great. Don't black people love gin and juice anyway?
Although I am so happy it's Friday I have Sunday to look forward to...a fucking baby shower. I swear to Christ they should use them as a form of torture for war criminals to make them talk. "Ok if you don't tell us what we need to know we're going to make you play the diaper pin game. Then when the hell that is that is over we're going to make you play the wrap the TP around her belly game. And if that doesn't make you crack we'll play the grossest and stupidest fucking baby shower game of all time, the smell the baby food that is IN A FUCKING DIAPER and identify what flavor it is game." And as if the dipshit games for crappy prizes isn't bad enough, we get to eat shitty food along with a shitty cake, we have to sit there ooooing and ahhing over all the shit she opens and sometimes they even PASS THE FREAKING GIFTS AROUND (I'm gritting my teeth as I type this) and the topper, it's dry so no booze to ease my pain. I want to kill someone and I'm not even there yet. A fucking hell that is unknown to men and for that I hate all of you dickwingers.
Hate on if you want, but I just discovered Espolon and it is the best fucking tequila around. You can buy it for about what you'd pay for Cuervo. Put this way--if Espolon and Patron were in a Mexican prison, Espolon would be the guard on meth beating Patron with a broomstick wrapped in barbed wire. Just sayin...
There is no such thing as good tequila. With tequila of any flavor/brand/origin...I'm either fucking or fighting and there's not much in between then I spend 36 hours vomiting. No. Good.
This is a good red wine weekend if you don't want to do any whiskey, you don't need to cool it so you won't be reliant on ice or refrigeration to keep it tasty.
Tequilla is harsh and you fuckers are suppposed to be feeling my pain about the baby shower. ME ME ME! Highpoint, my turkey and cream cheese bagel is good.
Still haven't tried Sailor Jerry yet...this might be the weekend for that. My buddy wants me to pick up some beer and come over for a little drinking/ blazing outside on the porch....I'm unemployed, why should I say I have better things to do? Looks like its going to be this kind of afternoon.
Hey! It sounds like you've played this game before! I think Sailor Jerry is better than Capt. Morgan. Ever had Admiral Nelson? Don't, it's terrible. It's as though the lower you go in rank, the better the booze.
Good catch. Im drunk, just typed the expression without realizing one of the verbs never happened. I'm a dumbass. Tangent, but does anyone else try to poop before they shower, can't, and then as you're drying off or just got dressed, the urge hits you? Hate when that happens.
Pfft, since when do the feelings of crazy bitches ever merit consideration? I think Shegirl should tell the hostess the same thing she posted here on the TIB. What's the worst that could happen?
The mom to be is my sister in law. Even though I'm not close with her at all for some reason my brother seems go get pissy if my Mom and I don't attend events such as this. Example; I went to her bridal shower (they also suck BTW) but opted out of the bachlorette things because I knew no one, wasn't in the wedding and really just didn't want to go. Within a few days of my RSVPing a no he called me asking why I wasn't going. He then called my Mom and asked her the same question. Who the fuck invites their mother in law to be to their bachlorette party in the first place? And shimmered is right, women, the kind that plan/attend these things and actually look forward to them are fucking nuts. They go off the deep end when attendence is in question. It's unreal and unless you've been there and done it, you have no clue
You just described the text exchange I had with my girlfriend last night. Her: My friend isn't talking to me and I don't know why. It's freaking me out. Me: And I suppose it would just be ridiculous to ask her why. Her: I don't want to start any workplace drama. This is making me feel shitty. Me: You don't have any reason to feel shitty because you have no idea why she's pissed at you. Her: I think she found out I was talking shit about her. Me: ...what? Why? Her: Not as a person. Her job performance. And not to her face! How did she find out anyway? At this point, I had a brain aneurysm and contemplated life without vagina.