Last night marked the end of a 6 month long project at work. So we went out to celebrate by drinking our faces off. I had a realization last night- I probably shouldn't drink with co-workers. This is a short list of the reasons why- 1. There is a video floating around the office of me dancing. 2. I embarrassed myself in front of one of our executives. I don't remember all the details, but I am sure he got upset and left after I yelled "I want to see that bitches titties!" Thank god I wasn't yelling it at a co-worker. 3. I ended the night with an epic fail of emotional outpouring to a female co-worker. I'm sure all of these things are going to bite me in the ass before the day is out. FOCUS: Do you drink with co-workers? What is your policy on it? ALT FOCUS: Tell a funny story about drinking with you cohorts from the office. Only answer this if you have a real job. We all know when you are the hostess at Applebees you drink with your co-workers because all of you hate your life.
Another from the archives... I had an alcohol-free dinner tonight with two co-workers who I haven't really met before. By the end of it I had heard a story about a barnacle molesting a man, and how one of the guys used to run naked in the middle of the night to clear his head, which worked OK until he decided to get dressed to go home while standing on an insect nest. Remember, this is the first time we've ever hung out socially. I cannot imagine what alcohol would have done.
My grandfather gave me this jewel of wisdon: Drink with people you want to be friends with or people you want to fuck. You don't want to work with either of those kinds of people. As the new guy in my office, about 8 of us went out for dinner at this Mexican place. Three hours later, the 6'7 body builder engineer who could EASILY play most of the defensive line positions for the closest NFL team was terrorizing the 4'8 Mexican waiter who resembled Gus Gus the mouse from Cinderella, demanding that he play "Ranchee" music so he could dance. One member of our party received a DUI that night...in his driveway and another one demanded that his 16 year old son quit fucking his girlfriend and come pick him up, he couldn't get out of his chair. I had been there for a week and was completely unprepared for that sort of shit-show.
Ive only been in this job for about 5 months and Ive drank with my coworkers once, at our big Christmas Party which hosted by a tavern. My rule of thumb is drink to the same point that you would if you needed to pass a sobriety test in front of a cop. I saw coworkers get shitfaced and make complete asses out of themselves with the bosses cringing in the corner. No Thanks.
At the yearly open-bar Christmas party, the women were often making up for the fact that they lost weight since high school and wanted to go back and attend their senior prom again. Expensive, sparkling, shiny dresses were all around, often with large swaths of fabric missing from strategic areas. Most years it was fun, but not as much fun as an open bar might indicate. One year, though, they hit the magic formula. A great, hard-driving band, a fair number of younger new hires, and a lull in the typical office social drama. It was out of control, I showed up about 45 minutes late there were already 10 people camped out by the bar, on their fourth round of tequila shots. After dinner, the band got wound up again. A guy who was party to the tequila shots - who was a serious football player in college, weighing 250+ lbs. and who, I'm pretty sure, does squats with a Buick - jumped up on stage, rips open the top ten buttons of his shirt, and starts dancing like a fiend. Until he slips. *BOOM* Face-first, off the 4-ft. stage, flat onto the ground. He moans a little, gets to his feet laughing, and everyone gasps. His nose is sideways and his entire face and mouth is covered in blood. Oblivious, he turns to the nearest girl in her sparkling silver dress, lifts her off her feet in a bear hug and, with his blood-soaked face pressing into her sequin-adorned chest, continues dancing. He quickly got pulled off and sent to the emergency room. I wish I had a picture of the bloody faceprint on that girl's boobs and dress.
Focus: My last job was a shit show and we all broke the norms, we all got black out drunk in front of each other and bosses multiple times. I was smart enough not to do it when I had to drive home, my other co-workers... not so much. Most had a DUI and several had multiple offenses, go entry level white collar jobs! My new company is tiny and I'm the only drinker, when we go out I have a beer or two max since I don't want the drunk obnoxious guy stigma. Alt-Focus: At my last job I went to a concert with a bunch of coworkers. I was easily the loudest and most enthusiastic person in the crowd, even though I had never heard of the band before. On the ride home I was passing out on my girlfriend who was driving, my coworkers had to keep me propped up during the ride so I didn't cause her to crash. When we got back to my place a coworker was helping me up the stairs, when we got to the top I turned around and drunkenly said "You think you're better than me?" The following Monday was interesting.
For the exception of one other person I work with, the person closest to my age is in her 40's. It's a small, executive office that the owners keep with about 12-14 people here at any given time. The only time I drink or even go out with co-workers is during the Christmas party. Basically everyone drinks a bottle of wine and we have a good time, but that's about it. One of the guys I work with is a hunter, so I'm thinking that at some point I'll probably go hunting with him, but I can't picture hanging out with anyone I work with outside the office. I'm really ok with that, too. I think it's probably a good idea to keep work and my social life separate.
Timely thread, as me and my coworkers had our belated Christmas drinks on Sunday. The ten of us started out enjoying the extremely hot and sunny day playing lawn bowls, before going back to our work/pub to finish the evening. All drinks paid for the entire day. We started the day at about 3pm. By 9pm we had been cut off (from our own bar nonetheless). I had a big/late session the night before, which saw me getting to sleep around 6am. This meant I was drunk and tired, somi was quickly catching some Z's on the bar for a solid twenty minutes or so before being woken. As for my coworkers, one also passed out, but unlike me didnt wake up, and was carried outside the venue over her boyfriend's shoulders. Another girl vomited, everywhere. Another girl cried, and one guy walked home without his keys so he had to spend the night sleeping on the front lawn. It could have been worse I suppose. At least nobody woke up for work next to somebody from work
Wow, I forgot all about this. An update to the story- I got beligerantly drunk two more times around people that I work with. One time I ended up in a shouting match with my boss over whether or not 80 hours of work per week was an apropriate ammount. The other time I ended up meeting a partner of my company, and introduced myself with the name of another drunk in our office (so I wouldn't be frowned upon when he saw my name come up at promotion time). I no longer have more than two drinks around anyone I work with. My boss wrote in my performance review that "Frebis needs to act more apropriate at networking events." He made me sounds like an alcoholic. I guilt tripped him into changing it. Then a few months later I got a promotion, a 15% raise, 10% bonus, etc. I wonder what would have happened if he had left that in my performance review? If I do not get a pay raise this year, I think I may go back to my old ways and drink 'til I black out with everyone since it worked so well in the past.
Even though I worked at a laid back comedy media company I never said shit about my weekend or had more than two drinks at any of the many functions. If they asked me about my weekend I said something stupid like "Oh, Power Rangers marathon all weekend." or "I'm pretty sure our HR policies prevent me from telling you about my weekend." People at this company got made fun of or fired for knowing too much about each other. 40 people in the office, 20 of them in constant contact. iChat was a function of the office and probably the most diverse personalities than should ever be in an office that size, I was fucking paranoid. First time we had the office party: this girl made this really fucking good pitcher of some drink, rum and vodka were involved. I was drinking it with her trying to get friendly, can't remember if she was a new hire or intern. In the middle of the party, my doctor calls to tell me the results of my STD scan I took because of a questionable one-night stand and tells me I'm 100% clean. I audibly say "Fuck yeah!" and do a fist pump or two. My direct boss walks up, knowing I don't get excited over much asks me what I was excited about. Before I can censor myself I say "STD FREE IS THE WAY TO BE!" And bust up laughing. He never brought it up again and no one else ever said anything, but I was fucking embarrassed.
Friends with one girl in my department. Saw her at a bar one night, so we had a few over a long conversation.. we were both already hammered. I don't drink around co-workers in general though. I DO tell them that I have to get absolutely smashed over weekends just to put up with their whiney asses all week. Some of them don't appreciate hearing that, apparently.
We shouldn't drink with our staff, but a couple of times a year we have lunch or dinner with them - Christmas, end of financial year, that sort of thing. Unfortunately, one of my co-directors has a tendency to start nicely and finish like a demon. One of our staff members is half Croatian, half Chinese and built so small she'd have to run around in the shower to get wet but watch herself that she doesn't fall down the drain. Her boyfriend is a controlling piece of shit who often doesn't let her come to staff functions, and when he does he constantly calls her. He was invited along once when we took everyone out to the restaurant at Palazzo Versace, but he thought it was appropriate to start shit with another staff member's partner in the foyer so we turfed him out pretty quickly. She likes a drink or ten, and with little bodyweight she tends to get drunk very quickly. My co-director likes to get drunk and slightly belligerent. When he does, his favourite topic is her boyfriend. He will variously interrogate her about the shit he does, answer her phone when he calls, tell him to fuck off, and hang up, get her to admit that she loves her pet rabbit more than she loves him and various other things that will ultimately reduce her to tears before the boyfriend shows up wherever we are and demands she come home right now. Which she does. This has been going on for roughly 6 or so years. Drinking with your staff members is dumb.
I work with a fairly wide variety of people and wouldn't touch a beer within ten yards of them. There are a few exceptions; a couple of the guys on my crew have fairly similar interests as I do and are good people. I have been out drinking with two of the guys on my crew, one is in a band and got me tickets to a concert he was playing in and another used to run ski tours and I recently went on one he was hosting. Both times we all ended up ridiculously drunk and made complete asses of ourselves. Everyone follows the Don't-talk-about-work-after-work rule, so, I have yet to worry about work/drinking issues.
None of you work in the political field do you? At my current place of employment, drinking a lot is not only accepted but encouraged. During the election cycle, booze was provided by my work and Bloody Marys were made up every morning. During our last work conference, we had open bar during both nights, booze provided during the day (while curling) and we only did a little bit of work for those 3 days. Our president was drunk and rapping at the bar one night. She is 45 with kids. So yes, work boozing can be fun. My last job we also got wasted quite a bit with co-workers. They were all pretty cool however. So, to everyone saying don't drink a lot with your co-workers, I say screw that. Have fun, it makes work more enjoyable when you have funny stories to tell (that can only be told within that group of people, however).
I'd say about 75% of the bosses I've had prior to getting sober were borderline/full-blown alcoholics and/or addicts who drank like I did. The ad agency business was rife with this, and working on a high-profile imported beer account was very conducive to this kind of behavior. My office was furnished with a small fridge that the agency stocked with client product, so it was par for the course to start cracking beers open around 2 pm. Of the 25% who didn't, I just didn't drink/socialize with them if I could avoid it. I was never a "2-and-through" kind of drinker, so if I had to do a social thing with them, I abstained in their presence, got it over with as quickly as possible, then went and drank elsewhere. Though, there were times when they would "cut loose" (like on a charter fishing trip during a national sales meeting) and get wasted on 4 beers. Amusing.
Do I drink with co-workers? Well, I used to . . . I've drunk tequila, cases of beer, bottles of wine and every mixed drink then known to man. I've done body shots off of a coworker's neck, closed down a bar with my supervisor, done a kegstand at a co-workers party, and hosted "corporate" events at my condo. I spent half the night at a company Christmas party with the young receptionist planted firmly on my lap, crashed on an apartment floor while making a "sandwich", with female coworker in the middle and my buddy in front of her. While drinking in the equipment room, I've had the head of the word processing department wrap her legs around my waist and tell me how hard it is to get cum stains out of clothing. And on, and on . . . . Do I drink with co-workers? Hell yes. But all of this was years ago. Over the past ten years my responsibility has increased, and these days I almost never have more than one beer with co-workers, and if i do, it's with folks at or above my level within the company. And none of my past antics have held me back in the slightest. It's called knowing your audience and picking your spots.
As someone who during the last 5 years of my drinking used to drink a fifth of vodka a day, it would have been a terrible idea for me to drink in front of my coworkers. I would hang out for an hour to be nice, eat some food, take people's inventory, and be on my way to do some serious drinking. I used to horrify hippies at Phish shows with my drinking so to do it in front of people I spend 50+ hours a week would have been a bad idea. My old company had this open bar blow out at the Hard Rock in Boston. The sales team were champs, hitting the premium liquor and shaming others into drinking. This one guy was falling down drunk after an hour and it was decided he needed to leave before he did something embarrassing. I had to stash him behind a parked car while I hailed a cab because the two previous cabbies were afraid he would yule in their cab. I hustled him in the back, gave the cabbie and address and 50 bucks to take him home. He didn't come to work the next day and since it was a small company everyone thought he was just too hungover. Turns out he somehow got himself arrested before arriving home. I always felt bad about that, perhaps I should have escorted him to his apartment but then again it was tough enough getting him into the cab. Sadly he was let go a few months later.
Recently, my Director gave me a coaching session because apparently, my frequent use of "profanity" (ass, damn, etc.) on the phone, along with my non-adherence to the company dress code were reflecting quite negatively on my overall image. Later that night, some co-workers and I are out drinking. The more senior members proceed to share stories regarding how this same Director has slept with over half the male staff in the call center, as well as regularly does cocaine with employees on weekends. It seems that as a new hire, when you do go out drinking with your co-workers (highly recommend, even if they are a bunch of donkeys) stick to the "two-and-done" rule until you can correctly gauge those who thrive on office drama/gossip from those you can just be yourself around. The office drama bitches will hover around, waiting for you to let your guard down and reveal something personal that they can use as fodder for attention back at the office. When in doubt, go drinking with the janitor because: A - he doesnt give a FUCK B - he is often the coolest guy at the office And for God's sake, buy the first few rounds with him...
In fairness, a gender was never indicated... but it's interesting to note where your mind immediately goes and the questions that you want answered.