Double Down. Bitch.

As highly advertised as it is, I haven't come across a single person who has tried KFC's new "Double Down".



A "sandwich" consisting of two fried chicken breasts for the bun with cheese and sauce inside.

Focus Have you tried the Double Down? Discuss the best and worst of fast food.

 

I have tried the Double Down and thought it was pretty good. I don't know what I think about the cheese sauce they put on it, so I would probably get it without next time.

The Burger King Quad Stackers are disgusting to me. I don't know what it is, because they are just their regular burgers with some shitty sauce, but I won't eat them.

 

KFC is THE worst of fast food, and this artery dam is the prime evidence (...that I can think of. The U.S has dozens of low-budget fast food places I've never been to).

Don't get me wrong, I LIKE fast food. But in a time when people are getting disgustingly fat and Food Inc. has tainted or minds forever, instead of coming up with good alternatives, we get THIS thing and the Wendy's Baconator (I LOVE more than most bacon and that thing is STILL fucking gross).

Probably the worst fast food I ever had was hands down White Castle in the States. I've tried it, I tried it again, an third time again, and FAIL. I guess I'm one of the very few who hate it, but I don't care because it tastes like dried dog shit in the sun to me and their employees are always drooling Mongolotards that never EVER clean. Yes, I know "Stoners love it, man! Whyya hatin' on the Castle?!?!"...because I'm a stoner, and to me it STILL sucks.

Personal opinion only, I know many will disagree.

EDIT: Also: any fast food employee/restaurant on this earth that puts mayonnaise on a hamburger should be shot and pissed on. Mayonaisse is fattening, gross, horrible looking and shit-tasting demon cum. I don't care wahtsoever if it's "part of your culture" or whatnot. It's wrong, and it says so in the Bible. That's right, Jesus hates mayonnaise and so should you.

 

KCF fucking sucks. Their main menu consists of the kind of shit you would eat if you microwaved the leftovers from Thanksgiving. I haven't ate there in over six years and don't plan on it anytime soon.

 

Yes, please. Especially when drunk. Sometimes I get adventerous and attempt a double.


Honourable mentions go out to A&W's Mozza Burger and Wendy's Baconator. Also, should I ever find myself anywhere with an In-N-Out Burger ever again that is all I'm going to be eating for the duration of my stay.

Burger King is the most disgusting fast-food establishment out there. If I have have the misfortune of "eating" there, I end up with those little cinnamon things they have.

 

"This is the saltiest thing I've ever had and I once ate a whole bowl of salt". KFC decided who needs 11 herbs and spices when you could just as easily replace them all with salt. I swear to god they brine everything before dusting it in more salt. My tongue felt pickled and swollen after eating the Double Down. It was actually uncomfortable to eat this fucking thing. The "cheese sauce" was primarily flour and water; tasted nothing like even the shittiest cheese. For 1500 calories, it tasted like complete shit. You'd figure they'd accidentally put a real flavor in there working with so many calories AND bacon. Nope. Just salt.

Fuck all fast food. You can still eat for 5 bucks, but the portion is a kid's sized. I'm no fatty. My appetite might be larger, but a single or a double ain't hacking it. Unless I wait 15 minutes for the crippling stomach pains and inevitable shit fountain to erase all semblance of hunger. I figure that's what most people do with the time they saved during lunch hour. For a couple bucks more than the larger sandwich you can go to the local bar and grille, get a bigger, better quality burger that won't turn you inside out.

 

The Burger King Rodeo Burger is the greatest thing to ever be handed to me through a window. Burger, BBQ sauce, onion rings, cheese--awesome. Plus it's on the dollar menu.

The double down just looks like a poorly-executed stoner creation that's only been made popular by millions of dollars worth of advertising. I'd be really surprised if they make their money back with this one.

 

Can someone please tell me why the fuck this In-N-Out burger joint is so awesome? Aside from Tucker's depiction of it in the Vegas Story, every asshole who has tried it on the West Coast says it is arguably the greatest burger of all time. Is it the sauce? The meat? Some kind of special califuckingfornia lettuce?

 

It's like trying to explain what sex feels like to a virgin. You just have to try it yourself to fully understand the experience that is a Double-Double with animal-style fries and a Neapolitan shake.

 

I feel like pointing out that only 10% of your cholesterol comes from your diet, and 90% is determined by genetics. Not that, at 1500 calories, that makes the double down any better.

I've done the McGangBang twice. Once, while sober, with a friend for the sheer adventure of it. The other time I was drunk and already at a southwest chicken sandwich. Normally your stomach doesn't feel too good after a night of drinking, but man, my guts were thoroughly messed up that night.

The other time I made the mistake of eating McDonald's after a night of drinking, I woke up the next morning with my stomach and intestines positively resonating. Not cool.

I've never been, but they are apparently a small chain that grinds all of their own meat. Is it really hard to imagine that better quality meat = a better quality burger?

As for me, there's a small burger joint just down the street from me where, for $5.25, you can get a burger, fries and a pop. It is all ridiculously good and greasy, like a burger and fries should be. It fills you up and you can't eat it there because you'll want to fall asleep while walking home. Try and find that for $5.25 at McDonald's

 

In-N-Out is a very small chain on the west coast that has never franchised, and will probably be privately owned forever. They also pay around $10.00/hour in California, which is higher than minimum wage. I also found out awhile ago that In-N-Out prints Bible references on the bottom of all their cups.

Every burger there is made fresh. If you ever go to an In-N-Out you'll see that they are very clean inside too. Another reason they are so popular is you can pretty much ask for any combination of any food there, and they will make it for you.

 

It's time to give the All-American hot dog its due.

You may not automatically think of it as fast food, but there are at least two chains in my area (Nathan's and Stewarts) and many smaller establishments that serve hot dogs as their main menu item. Few foods are "faster" than the frankfurter - it takes 2.5 seconds to scoop one out of a pot of dirty water and slap it on a bun. But this glorious tube of questionable meat by-products truly reaches its nadir when it is deep fried in a vat of oil/grease that hasn't been changed out since Nixon was President.

So here's to you, weiner - because a ballgame without you would just be bunch of guys waving sticks and oversized leather gloves at a small white ball.

 

The only thing that was impressive about it to me was the $2.50 price tag. Otherwise, eh. Though I hate to give props to Seattle, Dick's > In-N-Out.

Anyway, enough about those inferior burgers. There is only one burger that can reign supreme.



Oh yes. Carl's Jr. Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger. You can't improve on perfection.

 

This sounds exactly like Cookout in NC. Very small, christian owned, local type fast food. For $4.25 you get a big double burger, any two sides including corndogs, fries, hushpuppies, a chicken quesadilla (sp?), or onion rings. And to top it all off, you get a choice of drink including a float, huge sweet tea, large soda, or bottled water. The local Kannapolis Cookout also offers a $.99 milkshake every week. To my knowledge, they only exist in NC and SC.

Sadly, I don't know anyone who has tried both Cookout and In-N-Out to give a comparison, but Cookout is pretty fucking good.

 

What's all this about 1500 calories in a Double Down? They have 540 according to the website. Which is less than some fast food salads, though obviously not stupendously great for you.

Anyway, I've had it several times and I like it. I'm a big fan of meat + cheese with minimal bread so it works great for me.

 

This In 'n' Out adoration is getting frustrating. I want some now.

To the doctor's: Are pre-fried foods, like the Chicken Burger and such at McDonalds, really cancerous? Cause that's like 70% of my diet when I'm drunk. And I'm drunk often.

 

One word: Whataburger. California has In'n Out, Texas has Whataburger.

I have a real problem with Burger King. I would go there for awhile to get free WiFi, but I quickly found out that you aren't allowed certain combinations of ingredients on your burgers. For example, if you order a rodeo burger, you can't add tomatoes to it.
"Then that would be a whopper," said the dipshit behind the counter.
Fuck Burger King. "Have it your way" my ass. And their fucking mascot is annoying.

 

I used to love it, but now when I eat there I end up shitting it out not long after.

Germany has these guys walking around, grilling bratwurst, and you get it for a Euro:
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They would always be standing by a subway station, ready to hand you bratwurst fresh from their waist grill.

 

Usually, you and I agree on most topics, but Whataburger? Seriously? Maybe because my only experience was with the one in Melbourne, and everything in Brevard county is half-assed, but even drunk I was less than impressed. Weak meat and flat buns.

But then I'll tear up some BK when I'm having a caloric deficit. I don't get all fancy with them though.

Focus: I wouldn't know about that KFC shit. It looks horrible, but if I want chicken form a drive thru I hit up Popeyes.