Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

Don't Steal My Internet

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kratos, Dec 18, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. The Derelict

    The Derelict
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    15
    During a music appreciation class of mine our teacher lost his internet connection and had to find a network again. He was projecting his screen for google maps. The first network to pop up was Fuck Your Mother. It was pretty funny to the class being that the teacher was an older guy.
     
  2. katokoch

    katokoch
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    477
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,631
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    When me and my roommates were setting up our internet in our apartment this past fall, the guy that was doing the work asked us what we should name it and another promptly shouted out "My dick!"

    So, for a year, the network name for my apartment was "John *****'s Dick"
     
  3. 15 Step

    15 Step
    Expand Collapse
    Should still be lurking

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    6
    At my old house, we had a fancy dual-band router. We named one network 'Cockpit'. The other, 'Ballpit'. Currently, my wireless network is a comparatively boring, 'Intarweb'. It took a damn long time to get my intarweb working, though.

    When my girlfriend and I moved into the townhouse we are currently renting, we found that it wasn't wired for any kind of cable service. We already had a high-speed internet account with our local cable company and had already bought a modem, so we chose to wait for the cable company to dig in a line, rather than paying more to start DSL service.

    This wait took six weeks.

    For two weeks, I was able to use my Blackberry as a broadband modem, and all was well. After this two weeks, however, Sprint decided that my unlimited data plan was, in fact, limited at somewhere around 1 gigabyte. The data service was shut off. Fuck.

    All of my classes the last semester were coordinated online via Blackboard, and without internet access, there isn't much you can do but fail. Out of desperation and laziness (fuck driving to the library for every assignment), I decided to leech off my neighbors.

    The first available wireless network was password-protected, but it was named 'Guest'. Now I'm not especially computer-savvy, but I got the impression that anybody who gives their network such a generic name isn't exactly going to come up with an imaginative password. The first password I tried was '1234'. Nope. The second one I tried: 'password'. Ha.

    If you don't want to give away your internet connection for free, perhaps consider a password other than 'password'.
     
  4. cargasm66

    cargasm66
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    216
    Location:
    Seattle-ish, WA
    One of the first nights that my roommate and I moved into our new place, we watched "The Sandlot," and laughed our asses off at the phrase "Squints was pervin' a dish." So when we got a wireless network, we named it "PervinDishes"


    I still smile whenever I have to connect to it.
     
  5. villagebicycle

    villagebicycle
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    5
    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2009
    Messages:
    146
    I used to live in a predominantly gay neighborhood. I fought tooth and nail for the network name "anal beads" but my room mates declined. We settled on our address. Now that I moved, it's still the same as my old address, so I guess some of my neighbors may be confused.

    I recently set up my technologically incompetent girlfriend's router. The network name is "dutchrudder". See Zack and Miri Make a Porno for the reference.

    My buddy picked up a router last year, and called me to set it up because they only had macs in the house and it was a lower end windows only netgear router.

    I named their network "(buddy) has aids" and the password was herpes. He didn't think it was funny, but hey, comcast would have charged them like $100.
     
  6. Silly_wabbit

    Silly_wabbit
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    27
    Location:
    The taint of the South
    My wireless connection is called "Virus Transmitter."
     
  7. Nettdata

    Nettdata
    Expand Collapse
    Mr. Toast

    Reputation:
    2,863
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2006
    Messages:
    25,731
    For those of us that are more IT-included, professionally, we can also have some fun with the naming of servers.

    My favourite is to name them after Muppets.

    Currently, on the project I'm working on, all of our internal tools are named after drugs; morphine, speed, crank, cocaine, etc. Draw what conclusions you will.
     
  8. awhitegiver

    awhitegiver
    Expand Collapse
    Should still be lurking

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    3
    This reminds me of the Upside-Down-Ternet: http://www.ex-parrot.com/pete/upside-down-ternet.html

    Basically, the guy split his network into 2 subnets: 1 secured by mac address for his uses and 1open to the world. For the open one, he added some code that redirected all the images, flipped them, then served them out so anyone stealing his wireless connection would receive all of their images upside-down.

    There was also an example to send all traffic on the open subnet to http://kittenwar.com/. Pretty clever.
     
  9. Benzilla

    Benzilla
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    267
    How have we gotten to the second page without this comic being posted?

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Roxanne

    Roxanne
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    48
    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2009
    Messages:
    1,088
    I used to live in the same apartment complex as my sister. For fun sibling rivalry, when she pissed me off I'd change my wireless name to "J* is a douchebag."

    The beauty was that she was the apartment manager, and the tenants would always inquire after who hated her so much. Of course, the best wireless name that's been in my complex is NIGGA4LYFE. This is the most whitebread complex, except for one lone black man who sits on his porch all day. I don't want to say that's his network, but I sure hope it is.

    Neighborly focus:

    I used to have a neighbor I called 5, because I forgot what his real name was after a while and that was his apartment number. I hated 5 so damn much. I first met him at a party apartment #2 was having. I walked in, realized I didn't want to be there, took a shot and started to leave. 5 followed me back to my apartment and insisted on coming in, while I told him repeatedly and very heatedly to go home. He kept protesting, "No, I'll never get to talk to you again after this," and I agreed because he was pissing me off. That led to him forcing his way into my apartment and trying to get me to sleep with him. I was pretty damn angry and after threatening to call the police he left.

    After that incident, 5 decided I was a huge bitch and that he needed to be a bastard to me at every turn. One time he was trying to reverse out of our parking lot in his huge SUV, and was having a hard time, which was preventing me from getting out of the parking lot. I got out of my car and asked if he needed help reversing, and he flipped me off and peeled out. Any time he would see me in the complex, he would give me the most hateful stares ever. He would frequently call in noise complaints and code violations on me, not realizing my sister was the manager.

    Since she was the manager, she'd ask me to help her out when it came to people parking incorrectly, so I would have to leave 5 notes since he was always parking in no-parking zones (such as in front of the dumpster, preventing anyone from being able to throw out trash). After the third note, he purposefully side-swiped my mirror and left a note that said it was my fault for parking incorrectly. I could not believe what a jackass this guy was being, especially given how we had originally met. At this point, I didn't really want to deal with him (re: was being a pussy) and let it slide.

    Then he decided that hadn't been enough. Now, I hadn't retaliated in any way shape or form at this point, so I guess he was just looking for attention or something retarded. Either way, he decided to write, in permanent pen on all my car windows, "Learn to fucking park." I think he intended it to be anonymous, but I still had the note he'd left on my car, and his handwriting was pretty distinctive. In the only backlash I ever gave this guy, I let all the air out of his tires.

    A few weeks of driving around with that stupid writing on my car had me feeling pretty annoyed that I hadn't done anything more severe. Then fate smiled on me and my dad did one of the only cool things he's ever done in his life.

    See, the reason my sister was the manager was my dad owned the complex. He hadn't really paid much attention when I told him about 5's shenanigans because he doesn't usually believe a word I say. Well the writing on the car seemed to have been a final 'fuck you' from 5 because 5 was moving out. He showed up at my dad's office to finish up some final paperwork and clear up some issues about code violations he thought he'd been erroneously charged for.

    My dad charged him the amount it would cost to fix my car, and filed it under "parking violations." When 5 came in, angrily saying I was a lying whore who gave him those notices because I hated him, my dad gave him a pointed look and said, "You do realize that 'lying whore' is my daughter?"

    Apparently 5's face went dead white and he signed everything quietly and left the office. Fuck you, 5.
     
  11. Mistake

    Mistake
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2009
    Messages:
    16
    Location:
    Australia
    The only humorous network close i can remember was 'WithinPervingRange'. This made me laugh, but i'm pretty certain one of my neighbors (at the time) was a pedophile and i don't like the way he looked at my sisters. I would honestly like to know who it was, though.
     
  12. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
    Expand Collapse
    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

    Reputation:
    546
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2009
    Messages:
    2,859
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    8==============>

    No lie.
     
  13. dubyu tee eff

    dubyu tee eff
    Expand Collapse
    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,383
    As far as neighborly interactions go, I think this one takes the cake: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/min/1438787222.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mi ... 87222.html</a>
     
  14. tool

    tool
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    14
    At a local Mexican restaurant...


    "Fucking Mexicans"
     
  15. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
    Expand Collapse
    The White

    Reputation:
    23
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,579
    I generally hate interacting with my neighbors. The fact that I live near you doesn't mean we have to know each other. In fact it's probably better if we don't.

    I used to rent a condo that was on the second floor. It shared a staircase and a landing with the one next door (our doors faced each other). A nice family, a grandmother and her grandson, moved in there. They were very cool people and would let me know, for example, if I left the light on in my car. I liked them a lot.

    After they got moved in a new resident appeared on our shared balcony. I will call him the Cap'n.

    The Cap'n was a statue, maybe 12 or 18 inches tall, of a sea captain. He looked just like the stereotypical Sea Captain, exemplified by the character of the Sea Captain on the Simpsons. He had a sailor's hat, a white beard, a blue coat, and he stood at a ship's wheel. In one hand, he held aloft a small lantern that would light at night. He had a battery inside and there may have been some solar cells to charge the little lantern during the day.

    The Cap'n stood on a pedestal about three feet high that looked like a shrunken version of a Greek temple column.

    The Cap'n being out there was not very strange, in the grand scheme of things. After all, people put all kinds of kitschy shit in front of their houses. Plastic flamingos, lawn gnomes. So we had the Cap'n. He was a friendly, if serious looking Sea Captain, and so I had no problem with him.

    The strange thing, however, was that the Cap'n was not out there all the time. Sometimes he would be out on his pedestal and sometimes the pedestal would be empty. This did not seem to happen on any regular basis. He would disappear for hours or days at a time, sometimes during the day and sometimes at night. Then, just as mysteriously, he would return.

    I wondered for a while if this were some sort of signal to visitors. Or maybe there was some illicit activity going on in the condo next door and the Cap'n was a (not-so-)subtle "open for business" sign. The neighbors did seem to receive a steady stream of visitors at all hours, but the visitors never seemed to cause me or anyone else any trouble. And they came whether the Cap'n was outside or not.

    The housing bubble burst and the neighbors were forced to sell and move away. I felt bad for them. When they left, so did the Cap'n. Now he sails another suburban sea somewhere.

    Sail on, sailor.
     
  16. YankeeCarCzar

    YankeeCarCzar
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2009
    Messages:
    21
    TWOGIRLSWONCUP
     
  17. TCV

    TCV
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Messages:
    20
    slampigmafia
     
  18. c_norris

    c_norris
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    213
    Location:
    drifting by, totally
    in before zombie lock

    Just discovered this one today.

    YOUAREAPIRATE

    Since one day a week in the summer I get to dress up as a pirate, I couldn't help but LOL.
     
  19. shegirl

    shegirl
    Expand Collapse
    Redemption Seeking Whore

    Reputation:
    465
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    5,456
    Location:
    Hell
    Not only did someone bump a 20+ day old deader than dead thread another followed suit and posted right behind the dead thread bumper. It's like working with the handicapped here somedays.
     
  20. shegirl

    shegirl
    Expand Collapse
    Redemption Seeking Whore

    Reputation:
    465
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    5,456
    Location:
    Hell
    In this case, that's being kind.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.