I was recently browsing through FailBlog when I came up to this: It got me to thinking, my wireless network name sucks. Right now I have something generic and boring. I thought I would spice it up with something rude or just downright offensive. However, I'm very unoriginal and don't have a creative bone in my body. All I have come up with so far is Lick My Sack or Free Rimjobs. I figured you sick people have some better suggestions. FOCUS: What are some of the best Wireless Network Names you have encountered? ALT-FOCUS: Discuss the various interactions you've had with your neighbours. The good, the bad, the drunk-fuelled 4am visit by the cops.
I used to live right downtown Vancouver, BC, in a nice heritage home. It was a large, old house that had been divided up into 8 or so 2,000 square foot units, and was an awesome place to live. My (now ex) wife and I lived there for about 6 years, until the Troll moved in upstairs. She was the only reason we moved out of there, and onto 5 acres of solitude on a lake in the middle of nowhere. She was a mid-50's school teacher, and had a hooker/stripper daughter and 3 grandkids. Well, we're not sure if her daughter was a stripper, but she sure came by a LOT with thigh-high boots with 4" heels, fur coats, and sure fit the part. Anyway, this wasn't really a problem, until the grandmother broke her leg/hip, and was home all day, every day, for months. The floors in the place were all hardwood, and being as old as it was, the building had next to no sound insulating properties. Needless to say, every time the Troll clumped down the hall to the john, the pictures in our place rattled. To make things even worse, I worked out of a home office, and the noise was insane. I'd be on calls with clients, and they'd ask what that noise was in the background, and I'd have to say "construction next door". Then it got REALLY bad. She started to provide daycare for her grandkids, and they'd all run up and down the hardwood floors all day, every day. After the first couple of days, I went upstairs, introduced myself, and asked politely if she could maybe do something to keep the noise down. She replied with a "fuck you", and closed the door. Not exactly the response I was hoping for, to say the least. This went on for days, and finally, I said "fuck it" myself, and decided to take matters into my own hands. Being as old as it was, and because it was originally a large, single house, there were a number of wall access points, like old dumbwaiters, etc. I opened the one in my office, and ran a small speaker into the recess in the wall. I then plugged that speaker into one of my servers in my office and closed the access door, so that you couldn't even tell it was there. I then started up my own little DJ service, and ran 100% bass and drum tunes through that speaker, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The volume was low enough that you couldn't hear it in my office, but it sure carried up through the wall and into the room directly above my office, which happened to be her bedroom. After day 3, she hobbled down to ask me to turn down the music. I said, "what music?" She said "you've been playing music really loudly for the past few days, obviously to get back at me... please stop". I invited her in to see that I'm not, in fact playing any music, and she came in and couldn't hear any. She looked confused, but left, and spent the next 20 minutes hobbling back up the stairs to her unit. And came back the next day, more annoyed, sleep deprived, and again I played innocent. Again she left, and hobbled upstairs. The next night, the cops showed up. I played innocent, and invited them through the place, and they, too agreed that they couldn't hear any music, and apologized for bothering me. That weekend, there was a flurry of activity upstairs as a few family/friends showed up and helped her move her bed into the living room. The Wife and I were laughing our asses off. It went on for another 6 weeks. 6. Weeks. She seemed to be slowly losing her mind, and we revelled in it. Around that time we'd found our new place, and moved out shortly afterwards. So yeah, "fuck you" indeed.
Being the computer geek, I always enjoy close proximity wireless internet. Whether it's in apartment buildings, airports, hotels, etc., I always have my little wireless hacking toolkit with me. I tend to have fun with insecure networks by doing little things, like printing notes onto other people's printers, or sniffing the wireless packets that they're surfing. I have a cool little app (EtherPeg)that basically snarfs wireless network packets, and reassembles the packets that make up various image formats. Basically you can see what your neighbours are viewing in their wireless browsing. Fun times.
Kratos, I like your mindset here. I have never seen any very creative ones before. However, maybe something like "PORN ONLY", "Bustin Buttholes", "I have a boner" or "I Watch You Pee", would work.
ALT-FOCUS: Discuss the various interactions you've had with your neighbours. I don't care about my neigbours. Paint your house purple; sell drugs out of the basement; come and go at all hours...I couldn't care less. I lived in the same house for almost ten years, and at the end of it could only recognize the vehicles of my neighbours and one of their faces. My only request with neighbours is that you do not park in front of my property. I used to live in Calgary. We had a nice house, with an oversized double garage in the back (Calgary has back alleys behind all the houses). As such, you could easily park two vehicles in the garage, two cars in the alley behind the house and garage, and three cars or trucks out front. In total, seven cars (or trucks!) all without disturbing your neighbours. On top of that, directly across the street was the overflow parking lot for the local lake. You could park as many vehicles as you wanted there. And how many times did we come home and find one of the little shits next door, or their friends, was parked in front of our house? Too many to count. Yeah, I know the road is technically fair game to anyone. However, if the city demands that I keep their sidewalks clean and free of snow, then charges me obscene taxes for the privilege of road cleanup that never happens unless I do it myself, then fuck it. I claim that land and get your vehicles off of it. My dad actually got into such a heated enough argument with them that he had one of the semi trucks from site brought down, with full trailer, and parked in front of their house for a week to teach them a lesson. Yes, this is "grumpy old man" stuff, but I've inherited his pet peeve. Thank god parking isn't allowed in front of my new house.
Focus: Looking at available wireless connections, I see that someone nearby has named their network "Dontphucwiththejesus" Alt-Focus: I fucking hated the neighbors at my parents house. They're the kind of people who would have parties in their garage at 3am on a Wednesday, seeing who had the loudest truck and/or motorcycle while launching fireworks. God did they love their fireworks. And my room also had to be the one with the window facing their yard. And the wife was fucking psycho. She once threatened to call the police because my sister was listening to the radio in our backyard and it was "too loud." This was in the middle of the afternoon. There was a cat that liked to wander around the neighborhood that pissed her off to no end. She decided to set up a trap to catch the thing, the trap killed the cat. She also threatened to call the dog catchers because our dog (at the time a puppy) kept wandering over to their yard. Though to be fair they did give out king sized candy bars for Halloween.
When we moved into our current house, one of the surrounding wireless names was "I fucked your mom", another quickly appeared as "You don't even know my mom". Not surprisingly, I live 2 minutes north of the state's largest university.
Some people nearby named theirs "TrojanWorm" which is probably enough to scare most people away. I named mine "fartknocker". Beavis & Butthead are awesome.
Mine is (perhaps a terribly uncreative) 'shenanigans'. It was easy and I love the word. If my router name was an honest representation of what I actually used it for, it would probably be called 'gmail-weather-espn-watching porn on my itouch in the bathroom'.
There is a car dealership behind my place that has an unsecured WiFi. I make sure to go to gambling and porn websites every now and then on it just to keep them on their toes.
For the places that I've lived in my life (generally cheap apartments) I've actually been blessed with some solid neighbors. Right now I live next to a couple in their late thirties that are fucking awesome. I sit out on the balcony outside our doors and have a beer or two with them most nights. Before that I lived next to weed dealers, who smoked me out gratis all the fucking time. They were the peaceful, hippy, kind of weed dealers, none of that stupid "thug" shit. One funny story: I had about 10 or so people over in a dingy two bedroom apartment I was living in on Maui. The Tongan family that lives about three doors down comes to my door, screaming in whatever language they spoke. I go outside and ask them what the fuck is going on. Apparently someone had been jumping on the hoods of a bunch of cars in the parking lot, theirs included, and they were trying to put the blame on me or someone in my house. I tried to explain that I had no idea what the fuck they were talking about, but they were being completely ridiculous. Finally the matriarch starts to come around, apologizes for blaming me, yada yada. Then big daddy Tongan comes walking out of their apartment looking pissed. I say, "Listen man, I've explained to your wife I have no idea what's going on, nobody here is responsible for jumping on - ." BOOM. Fucker clocked me right in the fucking mouth out of absolutely nowhere. I fell back stunned, and watched as my roommate, who was standing in our doorway, and three other guys that were in my apartment, beat the hell out of the guy. All the women he lived with were freaking out, then the cops came. Nothing really came out of it, but that was easily the most solid punch I have ever felt (and I've felt a bunch). Just square in the mouth, lip split, seeing stars.
Not a wireless network, per se, but still fits the focus. The dorms on my campus are all on the same network, and allow file-sharing within the network. So, for instance, if you have iTunes, you can play pretty much any user's library if they allow it. Most of the music libraries had boring, generic names like "Mike's Library" or "Jenny's Music." Mine? "Baby-Makin' Music."
When I was 15 a group of college girls moved in next to my parents. My second story bedroom window just so happens to look down on these lovely ladies' backyard. So summer rolls around, it starts getting hot and these chicks start sunbathing topless. One day while I'm being peeping Tom my dad walks in to my room to ask me about some bullshit and sees me staring out of the window blankly. Now I am my father's son so he does what any self respecting man would do and pulls up a chair for the show. Fifteen or so minutes later my mom barges into the room asking Dad if he's trying to hide from her, apparently while we were debating the relative hotness of the girls my dad was supposed to be mowing the lawn.
At the beginning of the school year, several people I just started working with and I went to Chipotle to grab some food. One of my coworkers tried to see if there was any wireless that he could connect his iPod to. There were two available networks. One was Chipotle's and the other was coming from one of the apartments above. The network name was "sunburnt nipples". My coworker showed me, and I immediately called up my best friend, who lived in one of the apartments above Chipotle. Sure enough, he was sunburnt nipples. The best part though was that the password to the network was "pale balls".
Mine's Plausible Deniability. Because clearly I didn't download those movies, it was some dude in a van outside!~
I've been cursed with two horrendous neighbors/roommates. They came consecutively into my life, one year after the next. The first was easily foreseeable as a potentially shitty setup, as he was my dorm-mate during my first year at a new school. The second one however, ended up being the worst neighbor I've ever had. He put me through psychological hell, and the worst was I never saw it coming until it was too late. He had also lived in the same dorm as the first bad neighbor, but the difference was that I considered him a friend, up until I heard the truth. I was moving back to attend the same school after summer and a term off. My initial living arrangements fell through a week prior to my arriving back in the state. I bummed off of a few friends couches and moved into the first place I could find... ironically enough I knew the person who I was to share my kitchen with. This place I still affectionately refer to as "the rat-hole". It was essentially an elongated closet with a balcony at one end and a bathroom and a kitchen in-between the other person's hallway/"apartment". It was cheap, had the essentials and best of all: utilities were free. Considering the length of this story I will try to condense it to the details. My neighbor had a huge inferiority complex, which he supplemented with huge self-delusions that turned into a God-complex. He became such a good liar over the years that not only did he believe his lies, but so did a great many other people. I didn't even find out his true age until two years after meeting him, when a mutual friend of ours confronted me about his problem with me. See, I was shocked to hear he had a problem with me because I had considered us on good grounds. It wasn't until he had new locks installed one day that I started asking questions. Our mutual friend had me over one day and asked me if [neighbor] had anything to worry about having me as a neighbor. After asserting that I try to only be the best of neighbors with strangers, let alone people I consider my friends, he, knowing my character, informed me that [neighbor] had been telling him and several others that I had been breaking into his apartment for weeks. Now astoundingly shocked, I implored him to divulge everything. On top of the fact that he thought that I was breaking in, although nothing had gone missing, he stated that he knew, "TO THE MILIMETER!" where everything in his apartment was before he left, and I simply entered and moved shit around. Here I should also add that he was a chronic pot-smoker {which in and of itself I have no problem with, however...}, and he had recently gotten heavily into cocaine. He was also convinced that I was eavesdropping on him (which is why he blasted his rap music and that fucking song from the Geico adverts, "sometimes I feel like, somebody's watching meeee", ugh) as well as two other girls in the complex who would, according to him, walk up to his door and put their ears to it. Worst of all was that he was trying to find people to break into my place in retaliation. I have NEVER wronged this guy [well, I did break a beer of his while drunk, but told him about it and tried to replace it] so I was extremely unnerved. I didn't sleep that night and thought myself a huge fool. I had also just signed a new lease to stay for an extra three months. We could easily hear each other through the wall, and I knew how psychotic he had become, especially now. It was psychological torture, I dreaded being home, but feared to leave and have my shit get broken into. I went to the police and provided them with a statement, then spoke to my landlord. I was lucky and had a great rental company at the time who let me out of the lease early. Three hellish weeks later I moved home. Post-script: He believed I was still there and our mutual friend had had enough of his shit and his lies. He started standing up for me and this made my former neighbor very suspicious. At that point he had removed the contents of our shared fridge and thrown them around the communal hallway screaming my name. Then he broke a massive hole through my former kitchen door. Then he went to the police who told him that I had already gone to them and explained the story. Then he took the police to the rental agency to convince them that I was still in fact in the state and breaking into his place... this was five days after I moved 3000mi away. When that went nowhere he then tried to have the police investigate my friend who had informed me of his insanity. Then he was evicted [as his behavior had been frequently reported by other tenants, and they subsequently found the new hole in the door] and his affluent family apparently shipped him back to the home-country after they discovered what he was really spending his tuition on. My new roommate [the girlfriend] and I are living happily with our new dog (see avatar)... currently buried in snow. EDIT: Grammar.
Here's a good collection of funny wifi names. <a class="postlink" href="http://digg.com/security/25_Hilarious_WiFi_Network_Names_PICS" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://digg.com/security/25_Hilarious_W ... Names_PICS</a> The comments are also pretty funny, my favorite being...