Food inspires feelings. Feelings inspire belief. Belief inspires debate. Let's debate food for a second. In Texas, BBQ is king. And if you dare put BBQ sauce on your ribs you immediately become queen. Or jack. Maybe not even a face card, you're like that four of clubs the loser has in his hand because they could never get rid of it. There is a distinct minority that is in the camp of "if that's how I like my food, that's how I'm gonna eat my food so go fuck yourself." And then there's a tiny fraction of that camp -- like the least hate-y nazi in the room -- who makes their own sauce so they deserve a little bit of respect simply for their effort and dedication to being stupid. If you're gonna be retarded, might as well go full retard. In my opinion everything can be made better with cheese, hot sauce, and ranch dressing. Some people find this disgusting. And I'm laughing at them while I'm gorging on a quesadilla I made with equal parts sharp cheddar and hot sauce, and dipping it in ranch. Pizza is dipped in ranch dressing. It always has been, and it always will be. Doesn't matter if it is some New York deep dish, or a thin crust pie some old Italian grandmother made with her arthritic hands because she's spent the last 60 years making pizzas and hating foreigners. Doesn't matter. You put your red pepper flakes on, then dip the pizza in ranch. Your taste buds will thank you, after they finish cumming on themselves. Focus: What food "rules" do you have or follow that make you wonder why not everyone does the same? Alt. Focus: What do you do with food that's against the grain? (Please no porn to this one, for the love of god please)
No sugar in coffee, only a splash of milk. I use to drink it with a ton of sugar, then I decided to drink without for a week and I havent gone back. Now if I order a coffee and it mistakenly comes with sugar its completely undrinkable. As an Alt Focus, I dont eat anything with butter on it. Popcorn, toast, whatever. If its cooked in, fine. But on top or spread? No thanks, ma'am.
I used to drink my coffee with sugar & milk, but after deployments where I didn't always have one or both I started drinking my coffee black. It's also worth noting that without sugar or milk in my coffee, I've not had to worry about mold growing in my office mug. Today, I can't stand coffee any other way.
Focus: when it comes to BBQ sauce, it's typically only needed on shitty dried out BBQ. No raisins in things. I will eat raisins by themselves, but if you put them inside a dish, it's ruined.
My first rule is to not confuse the real pizza in New York with that trash-ass excuse for a "pizza" in Chicago. And definitely don't put Ranch dressing on it. Dear god. I love cheese and think it elevates pretty much everything it's put on, but, do not put cheese on a pastrami sandwich. Reubens are an abomination of god and you're committing a hate crime every time you eat one. You eat pastrami with mustard only, on rye only, with a pickle and a Dr Brown's black cherry soda on the side, preferably. I also really hate anytime cheese is mixed with eggs, unless it's a baconeggandcheese sandwich from a bodega. And while we're on the subject of eggs, get them out of where they don't belong. Everyone's tossing fried eggs on everything and calling it this great thing. I don't want them on my burgers, I don't want them on my BBQ, I don't want them on my veggies, or my sandwiches, or my rice. I do, however, like to eat my scrambled eggs with ketchup, which I know is embarrassing and I thought it was just a childish habit I never grew out of, but I just recently learned it's a Jewish thing. But only mustard on hot dogs, if you eat them with ketchup you're a weenie. I prefer almost everything untoasted, especially bagels. If you order your meat anything more done than medium you're a child or a psychopath. Latkes are made with the big side of the grater, if you use the small side and especially if you make them in a FOOD PROCESSOR like a MONSTER you're not even making latkes. And they need to have at least one drop of blood in them from grating to even count. When in doubt and with good ingredients, just keep things simple. Nine times out of ten I'm eating my burgers with cheese and ketchup, my steaks with nothing on them, my pizza as it comes out of the oven, etc. "Better" is equated with "more" so often when it comes to food and everyone piles shit on top of everything and goes crazy with sauces and all this stuff, and I just like to let the food itself shine.
I am not a coffee drinker. My entire family is and it has to be black with no additions whatsoever. I agree with Audrey that hot dogs should only have mustard and certainly never ketchup. I do think the only thing that should be mixed in with your breakfast eggs and potato is a hot sauce and never ketchup. Never put steak sauce on a good piece of meat. If you are cooking a New York or Ribeye the only thing really needed is garlic salt and fresh pepper. Burgers and cheap cuts you can marinate or put whatever you want on it.
Any sort of sushi roll with mayo on top. Horrible. If you don't want to taste fish don't get sushi. A1 steak sauce on any piece of meat. Its so salty it just mask any meat flavor there is and it's just awful. Dry rub BBQ. I like sauce on my BBQ and I just don't understand eating it without something nice and savory on top. I went to a Neapolitan pizza place and my friend complained there wasn't enough ingredients on the pizza because I got a margherita. He has very midwestern sensibilities, he is from Indiana.
Pineapple does not belong on pizza. If you do this, you are a filthy heathen. There's also this stereotype that all white people love mayonnaise. I will not eat anything with mayonnaise in/on it. That stuff is the Devil's semen. I've insulted my share of hostesses over the years for staunchly refusing to eat their potato or chicken salad. "But you've never tried MINE!" they protest. Yeah, and I never will. If I want to know how that shit tastes, I'll lick down the floor at a XXX movie theater.
Mayo is dusting shit. I'd rather they spread lard on a piece of bread than that stuff. Genuinely I think the lard would taste better and I mean that. I will never touch potato or macaroni salad. White potatoes/macaroni mixed in with mayo, fuck off
I never order meatballs out at an Italian restaurant because they always use too much breadcrumbs, they are invariably mushy, and they taste like crap compared to the meatballs that I, my aunt, and my grandmother make. Split Pea soup should not be smooth, it should have actual chunks of peas, as well as pieces of pork product- ham or bacon. Frying everything is lazy and a sin in the eyes of our lord. Unless it is a very specific dish like fried chicken or fried catfish, meat should be grilled, roasted, smoked, broiled or baked. Frying just makes everything taste like shitty vegetable oil and breeding.
Focus: When honey mustard is an option...you always go for it. I love it. No ketchup on hot dogs or burgers. Fries only! You must get as much meat off the bone as possible. It's pathetic seeing a chicken leg about to be thrown out covered with meat. I don't think I'm too weird about any food stuff. I don't eat cereal with milk. I eat it with a spoon and drink milk out of a glass. I like to eat cold green beans covered in tobasco sauce as a snack. I might have eaten about half of a jar of pickles as a snack last week, but I'm blaming that on hormones. And who doesn't at least like potato salad? I love the mustardy kind.
Unless it's used in chipotle dip for yam fries, mayonaise is the Devil's money shot after jerking it to diseased-dick amputee porn. Gaaaah. The worst. I love pineapple. But it does not Belong on a pizza. Enough with that shit. Stop it. It's time to give up. Let it go. You were wrong. I am I stickler when making eggs, because of my huge love for them. Whether I'm frying, boiling or scrambling they have to be PERFECT. Or I start over. Cut sandwiches corner-to-corner. Jesus, that straight across shit is nothing but anarchy. And I think raisins are the grossest thing of all. Want to make my blood curdle black and send me into convulsions? Shake a box of those babies in front of me. Which I weird, because I love grapes.
HEB sells sriracha mayo. It's fantastic. Goes especially great on crab cakes. Regarding the mayo hate, I get it, but there are very specific circumstances where it is delicious. I have a large jar of homemade pickled jalapenos, and a staple of my diet is sandwich of toast, turkey slices, a very liberal topping of jalapenos, and a ton of grated parm. Put that in the microwave for 30 seconds, spread some mayo on top, a little fresh ground pepper, and it's killer. Mayo is also delicious on burgers. Pepperjack, bacon, jalapenos, hot sauce, mayo and mustard on a sesame seed bun. That's all you need.
Mayo on a burger? Where the fuck are you from, Quebec? I'll go to Wendy's if I want to participate in that heresy, thanks.
If I make scrambled eggs for my wife and there's no ketchup, she would rather eat random debris out of the carpet. She thinks scrambled eggs with ketchup is delicious, without it tastes like a sea sponge.