I think this one is way too interesting to be lost in Men/Women guide and should be discussed appropriately...especially after reading Pinkcups' reply. Woah. From Superfantastic:So we agree then, dick pics are stupid. Very well then. Not sure if this has been covered, and I'm not going back to look, but it seems like we haven't discussed anal play extensively. I know full out anal sex is a delicate subject for most girls, aside from the small percentage who actually crave it (any Tibettes fall into this category/care to explain why?), and I've found that all girls love their asses being grabbed and squeezed as much as I/the theoretical guy wants. But what about the stuff in between grabbing and anal sex? This idea was sparked from someone mentioning butt plugs in the night drawer thread. I've never used one on a girl, though I totally would, but I enjoy rubbing a finger up and down her crack during doggy, or even inserting a finger or two if she's down. I've also been known to get adventurous with my tongue during/immediately after a shower. I've never put a finger in without permission, but I've taken the initiative with rubbing/licking and have always had good results. FOCUS: Tibettes (or Tibers, I guess): where do you fall on the anal play spectrum? Ever try/consider trying butt plugs? Do you demand ATM on the regular, or do you get nervous the minute your cheeks get spread even a little? ALT FOCUS: Or better yet, what are the do's and don't's of anal? How do you get your girl/guy to try it if he/she is unwilling?
A friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years because she tried to slip him a digit without asking. I think he might be a gay.
Anal blows. Too tight, grainy, and uncomfortable. Add the possibility of shit dick, and you've convinced me not to bother. For fuck sakes, there's a hole built for fucking penetration right beside the asshole. It's self-lubricating, and it's designed for fucking! Don't let it go to waste!
Humans are all about risk. That's why skydiving is popular. I haven't done anal, but I wouldn't be adverse if the right precautions are made. I agree with Volo in that there is a perfectly fine hole for sticking my member into not 2 inches away from the pooper.
I am obviously only speaking for myself, but I'm of the opinion that if you ask I will give it a go under certain conditions.First, I reserve anal play for a guy I have been with a couple of time. Second, I will not let a man put his penis into my butt hole. I've had a few guys try to get at it without asking, and I've lost all interest in exploring the possibility. Volo makes a good point. I have a vagina. Why would you not want to use the perfectly good hole?
I repped a version of this to Lostalldoubt, but what the fuck? Ladies, is this a common thing for you? Guys just trying to shove it in with no prep? Are these one night stand guys, or boyfriends? I am actually sort of staggered by this, as in my experience with all but one exceptional case, at least 20 minutes of anal-oriented foreplay has been required. And honestly, most of the time it was more like 30-40. And a follow-up: after someone tried this, did you continue to sleep with him?
I've tried anal with just about every girl I've slept with multiple times; never for one-nighters. If they were my girlfriend I always talked about it with them first and started with just some rubbing and finger play. Only one girlfriend actually asked for it and she enjoyed it, but she also LOVED when I fingered her ass. The other girlfriends would try it for me but they didn't like it so we never did it again. I couple flat out refused but they were also the ones that didn't let me use my fingers either. However, I have tried a few times without asking for girls I wasn't actually dating. I never just rammed it in but I just started easing it in slowly. All but one stop me immediately. And yes, they all fucked me again after. I don't mind licking a girl's ass. Most are really taken by surprise and get kind of turned on that I would even try.
You would be surprised at how many guys try and just shove it in the ass. There is pain, and blood, and occasionally tears. I like ass play. I like butt plugs. Anal sex itself though I have a harder time with. Having a plug in my ass is hot, I come like a fire hydrant. The movement and thrusting of anal sex or a vigorous fingering makes it uncomfortable though, so full on ass fucking is a rare treat for my fiance. Yeah, I let him and past partners put toys and cocks in my ass, but only after I'd been with them numerous times, and I was usually pretty drunk the first couple of attempts.
I have no interest in getting my ass played with, I'm pretty much down for anything when it comes to sex, however that is just not something I am interested in. With an ex I ended up kicking her in the shoulder off the bed. It was a knee jerk reaction(literally), she was blowing me and just went to straight up jam a finger up there. There are 2 moist very satisfying holes on a chick that I am fond of and prefer. However, if she is into me sticking it in her ass, who am I to deny her pleasure? Mike Catherwood (co-host of Loveline) gives very good advice on anal prep that I have found useful. Enema Lube Booze.
I've had successful anal sex 2 or 3 times, and unsuccessful anal 3 or 4 times. When it was good it was awesome, but I'm not dying for it again. It would definitely have to be with a boyfriend, not a one night stand type of thing. The only tips I have for it is lubrication, trust, communication, being gradual, and relaxation (probably brought on by a couple of drinks...but not too many because you need to be able to feel if something's going wrong). Sometimes a finger in the bum while getting head is one of the quickest ways to get me to orgasm, but I've had a finger up there during sex and I did not like that at all. However, I'd love to have sex with a toy in there to get a double penetration feeling without the awkward angles in a threesome that's never going to happen for me. It's really weird how random the enjoyment of butt stuff is. I guess sometimes I just get too nervous about the potential outcomes.
Anal is fun sometimes, but I need lots of lube to get started. It's fun for me in a "this naughty" way, it doesn't actually make me come. Getting fingered back there is welcome, however. I have absolutely zero interest going near a man's back door, I don't want to get my fingers dirty. Double standard? Maybe. I've only been interested in anal with long term relationships, not a one night stand activity in my book.
One time I tried a little bit of finger-play with an ex-girlfriend and she promptly asked me if I was gay. She apparently didn't realize that anal could be a heterosexual activity. She was strangely naive about a lot of sexual things. She was also Chinese so after reading that wiki link in the castration thread, I guess it's a good thing I started off slow.
Never actual had anal sex, though I am more than willing to try it. All my long term relationships/hook-ups have been seemingly against it, so it just dies there. Ive played around there enough with fingers. Ive had a couple random/infrequent hook ups love the shocker and would stand to reason they would be open to anal, but its never gotten far enough to explore such an option. It is kind of funny to see girls getting into foreplay and I start playing around in that area and they are super turned on, and then realize what is going on and suddenly get all self-conscious and freak out. If there is a hygiene issue I don't know about, then good on you, but if its just the premise, fucking relax. Side note, not to be too crude, but ladies, if you are well manicured down there, we thank you, but go all the way. Ive had a couple times where I am dealing with a magnificently manicured lawn, but the southern property line is a bramble bush mess. Not awesome... As for myself, I've never had a girl chuck a few digits up there, but a bit of random pressure and exploring felt rather nice. But I'm very much of the mind that I'll try anything (heterosexually) once or twice, so game on.
It's kinda funny, I'm a total ass man, and am always very anxious to use fingers or, on the right girl/circumstance, my tongue, but when it comes to actual anal sex I'm kinda 'meh' about it. If I never tried it, I would definitely want to, but as I said in the other thread, I don't think I've ever pushed for it. I couldn't imagine just trying to shove it in without prep or telling the girl first though. I mean, how would that even work? The butthole's natural state seems to be clenched. It would be like trying to fit a...I dunno, a banana up an icing tube, only you didn't tell the tube first. This one time, this girl went down on me after forgetting (I assume) that I had just been in her ass. She stopped after a couple seconds but I immediately yelled "it counts!", so I can technically say I've knocked ATM off my list. Go me! Oh, and as for my asshole, the thought doesn't even cross my mind, and thankfully I've never had a girl try. I think I might slap her just out of scared reflex if she suddenly surprised me. God that would suck. I'm fully aware that it gives direct access to the prostate, and they say those orgasms are amazing, but holy fuck do I not give a shit at all. Maybe someday, when my penis is old and jaded and regular orgasms just don't cut it anymore, but at this point, suicide seems more pleasurable.
I had a FWB who would pretend it was an accident. (I knew he was pretending because he would try to hide the devious smile. Also, he was friends with the undetermined number of fingers in my ass guy, and when he found out, he admitted to trying to put it in my butt.) I believed him the first two times, but after awhile I caught on. It didn't stop me from sleeping with him because he was actually a really sweet guy. He just wasn't mature enough to understand that he had to ask permission. Of the four men I've been sexual with (I've only has penis in vagina sex with two men) there was only one who didn't go for my ass in some way. I have considered marrying the guy who didn't go for my ass. Anyway, to answer Almost's pm question: Yeah, I kinda of do find the fuckwads a lot of the time, but I'm working on finding a higher class of men.
My wife reluctantly allowed me to do it after we got married. The first time was not pleasant. For her. She's definitely more into it now, although it's not really her first choice. I'd say it's probably a monthly event for us. Usually coincides with another special time of the month. I'm not really into her returning the favor in any way, shape, or form; and I keep my self sufficiently unkempt back there to ensure that.
I've only partaken in anal once, with a condom on and with an ex-girlfriend. I'm uncut, so wearing a condom is pretty uncomfortable for me in the first place, and I won't even consider anal without one. The experience itself was pretty bad. She asked me if I would go backdoor. I had never done it before and I'm always willing to try something new in the bedroom before writing it off. In the end, it was too painful for her, and a complete turn off for me because of the fact that poop came out of the hole I was sticking my dick into. One time she tried using a finger while she went down on me (with my permission) and it felt completely uncool. I'll stick with vagina.
B&B week. As far as me and the wife, there's definitely B&B week but the occasional excursion through the back door when she's in the mood.