Not sure if you were writing this in direct response or if you were agreeing, but yeah, it's really hard to get people to discuss issues like this in a meaningful way without labels being used to shut down the conversation. I don't think people SHOULD be homophobic, but whether they x out of gay porn disgustedly is infinitely less important to me than how they handle themselves around other people. That being said, I believe there's a connection between people thinking gay sex is disgusting and the sort of virulent homophobia that leads to people being killed. It's different reactions by two groups (one reasonable, one sociopathic) to the same culture and stimulus. I honestly don't understand why the dude needed to change rooms though. Can somebody who was there for that convo fill me in?
I don't see why you think it is an over reaction. If the dude found the sight of gay dudes fucking disgusting, is wanting a different room assignment really that egregious? Sure it isn't the PC, accept people for who they are route, but far from anything that you seem to imply sociopathic tendencies with. Not wanting to deal with the situation seems like a reasonable response given the other side of the spectrum of responses. The biggest argument you hear "what ever they do it in the privacy of their homes, is fine." Well privacy in a single room dorm is a lot more complicated. As I remember the person who thought he was over reacting and was being wildly homophobic suggested the dude should man up and accept having to see dudes fucking as it is homophobic not to. I could be wrong, my memory is hazey on the detail. If I knew how to use Google cache Id find it.
Whoa, when did I say it was sociopathic? Beating Matthew Shephard to death is sociopathic, which is what I was referring to in the context of my post. My point is that this: is not rational behavior. It's phobic behavior. If his roommate was repeatedly inconsiderate and left the door open, that's one thing, but in the story you told, the guy didn't even ask his roommate to lock the door. And there is a connection between that sort of behavior and the sort of behavior that leads people to be killed, although the people in the circumstances are different.
The feeling's mutual. Words have dictionary definitions, and then they have definitions in the common parlance. A man who hates gays but is not, strictly speaking, afraid of them - he's not technically homophobic. But who gives a shit about Webster? Go beat up a gay guy and see what the newspaper report calls you. I'm pretty sure they don't interview you to find out your true feelings beforehand. So, considering the above - I'd rather not be called homophobic if you can help it.
Maybe Im just not getting your logical but it feels like you are falling into the trap of lumping things into extremes. Feeling disgusted about gay sex and switching rooms leads to zero people getting killed, being disgusted by gay sex and killing the gay dude always leads to someone being killed. You've mentioned the connection twice but it just seems like a huge leap in logic.
I'm using the word as it's supposed to be used. How can you look at this definition (emphasis mine): and not think it's exactly what we're discussing when a guy has to switch rooms because of walking in on his roommate once?
I used to get uncomfortable with gay guys kissing, then it started showing up more on movies and TV. Now it's more of a "meh". It's the same reaction I get seeing a straight couple kissing.
You wrote the post I quoted before that ever got brought up, so that's not what we're talking about. I'm talking about the topic of this thread, which is one's reaction to gay sex / images, mine being aversive to it, but not drastically so. So that doesn't fit your dictionary definition either. But that's exactly what you're implying here:
If it makes you sick to your stomach and immediately need to close whatever you're watching, you're phobic. If you think, "hm, this isn't for me", and watch something else, you're just not interested. You can answer for yourself which end of that spectrum you're on, but this whole "Gay sex disgusts me, but I'm not homophobic" attitude is a fucking lazy cop out. I'm not saying that you said that, but I hear it way too often.
If you think you're going to see an honest reaction to how gay porn actually makes your average straight male feel, think again. Even if he didn't find it nearly as repulsive as he claimed to, he's been conditioned to respond a certain way. I'm not saying he doesn't feel uncomfortable. I'm saying that gut-churning disgust isn't actually gut-churning disgust. It's confusion masquerading as gut-churning disgust because he learned somewhere along the way that that was how he was supposed to react when he saw guys fuck. Social pressure, family shit, whatever. It's all skin and fluids. Everything extra is in your head.
I prefer lesbian porn, mainly because the only reason I watch porn is for the girl, and thusly two girls is better. The penis, while I do my best to pretend that it is my penis, is still a detractor. I shall refer to this simple equation, where Penis = -1 Girl = +1 Girl getting fucked = +1 Thusly, girl masturbating = 1 girl getting fucked = 1 + 1 + -1 = 1 lesbian session = 1 + 1 + 1 = 3 Simple math. I argue that it is completely possible to replicate a male's presence in lesbian porn, mainly through the use of a strap-on/oral pleasure/use of hands. And no penis is always a plus. Not that I can't stand the look of one, just that you always run the risk of seeing the dude's face (especially the dreaded male O-face), which no one can deny completely ruins it. As far as in person, I don't really care. As long as they don't kiss me.
I now have a conditioned response when I see overtly gay images in the media and society (eg two dudes kissing). My immediate thought is "how long before this gets blown all out of proportion and endures too much scrutiny?" This thought is usually immediately followed by "who's going to be the first to utter the 'won't someone think of the children?' mantra?".
I wanted to respond to this in the WDT, but we were as pointed out, moving away from what a WDT should be... If you grow up in a cave, you've only ever been in a nice safe confined space, and you go outside for the first time, and you're uncomfortable because of all the open space, are you Agoraphobic? If you're petrified of spiders, because your parents always freaked out about spiders, are you arachnophobia? I'd say that the origin of your phobia doesn't change the fact that it's a phobia. It's still 'An extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something'. And while I understand that homophobia has a hell of a stigma and conjures images of hate and violence, if you have an extreme or irrational fear of, or aversion to homosexuality - that's homophobia. There's lots of porn that doesn't do it for me - ugly people, midgets, grandparents, etc. In some cases, it's actively hilarious - live action tentacle porn is about the unsexiest thing I've ever seen, but I thought I was going to die from laughing so hard. But the rest of the time I just get bored and change channel. I'd certainly be uncomfortable if I was forced to watch it - but I'd be uncomfortable if I was forced to watch lawn bowls too. Extreme revulsion and complete disinterest should be fairly widely removed emotional experiences.
I have always heard that studies have shown that men who are homophobic are more likely to be aroused by gay porn, while straight men who are pro gay rights or neutral are less likely to be stimulated by it. Here is one article: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201106/homophobic-men-most-aroused-gay-male-porn" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the ... -male-porn</a>
I’m homoarachnophobic: The fear of gay spiders. This also manifests as a fear of gay’s with spider tattoos and I suspect although have yet to confirm a fear of spiders with gay man tattoos.
BULLSHIT Lesbo porn is weak. I am sure you can find good stuff here and there but on average, eh. They never truly seem to be into it and can't even fake it convincingly when a strap on is used*. Then again I also usually fast forward through the oral stuff in regular porn anyway as it is never as exciting as the main event. As mentioned in the WDT it is fucked up, and weird twisted logical that dudes can be disgusted with gay porn but turn around and create a market in straight porn where bigger cocks and bigger loads are the fucking standard. But even I dig that shit. Girls can't fake some of those noises they make getting rammed by Evan Stone, some of it is sounds of displeasure, which is part of the allure I think. *there is a reason lesbo only porn stars get paid shit compared to normal girls
If you look at the way most straight porn is shot, the male's face is often obstructed or left out of the shot completely. This is to allow you, the viewer, to imagine that it's actually you throwing it in Jenna Jameson or being blown by Sasha Grey. Following this logic, it stands to reason that you prefer the kind of sex with women where you aren't actually there.
Would you say the same thing if the roommate had been fucking a black chick? If that situation is different, why and how? I'm not trolling, I'm curious, because I don't see any distinction. They're both attitudes that we should seek to eradicate, but as long as they're unexpressed...I suppose that's all one can really ask for. Yeah, he's a bigot, but at least he's being a reasonably well-behaved one. In both cases, I would say yes, that person should switch rooms. Because the person isn't going to magically become not gay or not black over Thanksgiving break. And room switching is a preferable outcome to any number of things that might happen if he were left in the room for the course of the year. If he feels THAT strongly, it could end very poorly. Homosexuality aside, I find male revulsion to the sight of a penis peculiar. Even outside of the realm of homosexuality, many/most react with "OH MY GOD THAT'S TERRIBLE, DON'T MAKE ME LOOK AT IT." I genuinely can't fathom this perspective. It's biology, dude. You even have one, so you probably see it ever day. It's not gonna jump out of the picture and jab you in the eye.