Do your boobs hang low,do they wobble to and fro? NSFW kinda

Generally speaking if there's something in between my boobs I can feel it. I call bullshit.

 

I'd like to be the first of many to humbly offer my penis in the name of scientifically researching just how sensitive your boobs are.

Edit: Yours too SheGirl.

 

Worried about boob wrinkles? Don't want to have to jam a kush between your boobs while you sleep? I give you ladies the Boobright Wrinkle StripTM. It has a reflex strip to gently separate you boobs. Is drug free. And provides instant relief from wrinkled boobage.

 

I'm 36, I've breastfed, and my boobs have ranged from D cup to what it is now - barely C cup. I've never had problems with the girls getting in the way. As for cleavage wrinkles - I'm sure I'll get them eventually. Whatevs.

I don't understand how it doesn't roll out from between your boobs when you are sleeping. If your shirt is tight enough to hold it in, then they are tight enough to keep the boobs from flopping around, right? Or if the boobs are so big that they sandwich it in all night, then at that point you're pretty much using a finger to plug up a crack in the Hoover Dam.

 

Don't volunteer SheGirl's penis for things, that's called being a pimp and it will get you a slap on the wrist from local authorities.

A SLAP ON THE MOTHERFUCKING WRIST, CAN YOU HANDLE THAT MOTHERFUCKER

Focus: Oh my god, this thing makes me so happy. Finally a product to keep my DDD's from becoming all crinkly in the pinkly. I swear huge tits are god's punishment for unpaid parking tickets, because every day my swollen nipples seem to be climbing further and further away from my sternum. If I didn't know better I might start to think they were attempting to reach terminal velocity and I'd wind up with a couple of nipple moons orbiting my torso. On the other hand that could be useful, I could hang random babies to dry from the little pink milk saucers, then all I'd have to do is smoke a hell of a lot in an enclosed room and I'd have me some delicious jerky.

Nothing says "I'm a responsible man, come fuck me" like a couple of slabs of sweet smoked baby in your pocket.

 

I can see using this during the breastfeeding months. During those months, I pretty much have to sleep with a bra on but when I lie on my side, my upper tit kind of falls out of it, misaligning my nipple with the precious pad, so when I get up to nurse, I end up with a wet shirt because one tit has gone wonky. This contraption might conceivably keep the nipples where they need to be.

 

Why is it made out of plastic?

I'd make it out of cloth to sop up all the tit sweat and bbq sauce that's bound to accumulate.


I assume this will work on overbearing FUPAs as well?

 

Imagine the smell, after baking in between some trailor trash tits.

 

I can kind of see a need for this. I hate it when I'm laying on my side and the upper nipple slides out of my camisole--that shit is all kinds of annoying. Or when I'm laying on my back and then my boobs creep up under my chin...I always feel like I'm .5 seconds away from being stifled. Maybe sticking a boob thingy between them will force them sideways instead of upwards.

But chest wrinkles? If you've got big boobs, they're inevitable. Deal.

 

Yeah but would the thing really stay between your boobs when you are sleeping? The only way it would would be with a tight shirt on, and wouldn't the shirt stop the bobalons from moving around all crazy like?

I imagine whoever came up with this passed out one night naked on her sofa midway through drinking a big gulp and the fucking cup got lodged in between her tits. Somehow, between that first enlightening night and the manufacturing of this product, some rich white guy said "waiiittt aaaa minute. We can't just sell big gulps to fat women to put in between their tits. We'll have to make our own version."

Genius. Pure genius.

 

The physics of that picture are all out of whack. Her left breast is clearly defying gravity and its mass is nowhere near to resting on the boob support. I imagine it would be all kinds of inferior to pre-existing breast support devices. I'm drawing a blank right now. Three letter word of some sort.

As for the discussion of whether or not it would stay in place, I once saw a picture on collegehumour.com of a topless woman who had placed a beer can between her (reasonably large) tits and it stayed in place. So I guess as long as your boobs are big enough I don't see why something like this couldn't stay in place.

Hey everyone, look at me, I have gynecomastia! Look! Over here! I'm either Bob from Fight Club or my dose of spironolactone is way too high!

 

Proper spine alignment? Really? Can your tits be so big that they misalign your fucking spine? And this can be fixed by simply putting a spacer between your titties?
You learn something new everyday, I guess.

 

I'm about ready to vomit from the very thought of trailer trash tit sweat.



The video is pretty awesome. My tits have never been in my way of getting to sleep, so this seems completely ridiculous. Maybe this is only a concern if you have like EEE boobs or something.

 

I love that it comes in a pink satin bag like some fancy fucking dildo or something. And that commercial is the closest thing I've seen to titty fucking on cable TV.

 

*Sigh* Oh what I wouldn't give to trade tits with you right now. Long-winded explanation on why that picture isn't out of whack below.

Spoiler

OK--she's wearing a bra (I'm going to assume underwire, because I know about these things). She's old. Laying sideways. And she has that plastic tit thingy between them. These things are facts.

The function of a bra is to pull the breasts upward towards the shoulders. With an underwire bra, this means that the straps are hoisting the breast from underneath, where the underwire resides. Since the underwire is shaped to the curve of the underside of the breast, part of the underwire is laying flat against the breastbone of the woman wearing it. When standing up straight, this poses no problem and the bra serves its purpose.

As women get older, their breasts "sag". The pectoral muscles stretch, and the tissue is no longer firm and dense. This process happens faster for larger breasted women (I know, I hate Mother Nature too). This means that the dreaded "tube sock" effect takes place--the upper part of the breast gets longer and has a flattened appearance while the lower 1/3 of the breast (essentially, everything below the nipple) has the appearance of carrying all of the breast tissue. Not unlike a tube sock half-full of pennies held upright.

When lying down sideways, the 1/4 inch of the underwire that is supposed to lay flat against the breastbone doesn't do this. It cannot do this because one boob is busily sneaking its way towards the other one squashed against the mattress. Bras aren't designed to handle this sort of issue. So the bottom 1/3 of the breast is kept uncomfortably in check by the underwire that normally sits flat on the breastbone. In older women, this bottom part of the breast has the most tissue density. So if she can stand the painful pinching and uncomfortable rubbing, the underwire effectively becomes Hoover Dam and prevents a floodgate of lower boob from rolling towards the mattress. It's cutting into her boob, but it's working.

There isn't a scientific term for what I'm about to describe next (or maybe there is, but I like my terminology best) but it explains why her breasts seem "gravity-defying." Sliding titties. Since her boobs are being held in check at the bottom by the horribly effective underwire, the boob start moving sideways from the middle of the breast. The nipple starts migrating towards freedom outside the bra and the rest of the breast attempts to follow. The bottom 1/3 of the breast is prevented from heading towards the mattress, but everything above that is shifting in an attempt at escape. Sliding, as a matter of fact.

This is where the plastic tit thingy comes in. It puts a stop to that nonsense. Even though the majority of her tit is still encased in a bra, the part that she's concerned about (the part desperate to flee the confines of a bra) is now resting on a plastic thingy.

I imagine that NO ONE voluntarily sleeps with a bra on if they have breasts larger than a C cup. That shit is terrible. But for photo purposes, I'll forgive her.

 

All I got out of that was, "Hi, my name is Pinkcup, and my boobs look like a tube sock."

Gross...

 

Seriously? Someone has a reading comprehension problem.

 

I normally pride myself on absurdly long and long-winded posts, and I have absolutely no idea what the hell you're trying to express here, but I think it boils down to the fact that an underwire bra is defying Newton's law in the photographed. I noticed that the woman in the picture was wearing a bra (you can see it near the intra-boob device) and figured that had something to do with the gravity-defying nature of said blouse bunnies, but it sort of makes you wonder as to what the point of concurrent bra and IBD usage is, especially while sleeping. Aside from aesthetics for the point of a photograph, well, no one wants to use one and they're trying to sell us (er, you) the other.

In related news, the titty bear: a seat belt attachment for women with the problem of large breasts: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.hammeruncut.com/titty-bare-relieves-seat-belt-discomfort/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.hammeruncut.com/titty-bare-r ... iscomfort/</a>