Deal Hunting, Mullet Watching, Fail Spying and Fattening

My mom is a junk-nut. She loves flea markets, dollar stores, yard sales, farmer's markets, etc. For the past few weekends, I've went along to some of these trips to the flea/farmer's markets and yard sales. They are good places for cheap vegetables, used books/video games/movies, and a variety of shit that I find cheaper there if I can remember to look (razor blades, non-perishable foods, tools, etc.).

I don't go because I'm in need of a deal, I go for the people. I was rewarded this morning by a gentleman walking around with jean shorts and no shirt, conservatively tattooed with the elegant wolf/moon menage that so recently found notoriety online and the Peterbilt logo. He also had his favorite Nascar driver's number tatted on his shoulder. Then there was the gentleman who spent 30 minutes trying to convince my mother that the Monroe Doctrine was 1) an actual document, 2) a hidden part of the U.S Constitution and 3) predicted and written about in the final book of the bible.

My mullet count on these adventures is a respectable 16, only 3 female.

Finally, the flea markets are good places to get authentic Mexican street food, as well as stuff like boiled peanuts, funnel cake, and fried pickles that you can't really get anywhere else.

Focus: Flea markets, yard sales, open-air markets, thrift stores. Share your stories.

Alt. Focus: What valuable or unbelievable shit have you found in these places? Once in a while, you'll find a real gem.

 

Ugh I hate flea markets and thrift sales with a passion. The last 30 miles of my drive to Maine consists of little hamlets filled with people selling junk to tourists. I makes already ridiculous traffic slow to a crawl. Blech.

However...

I was 13 and went to this amazing place <a class="postlink" href="http://www.riettafleamarket.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.riettafleamarket.com/</a> with a friend and his parents. His parents were extremely lax in the whole "parenting" dept so it made perfect sense for us to buy a couple 3 ft machetes and some throwing stars while we were with them.



I'll never forget how quickly my mother swooped in to take away my machete as soon as she saw me with it. Bitch.

 

I love going to junkyards; they prefer to be called auto recyclers, but it's never gonna happen. Whenever I have some free time, I like to walk through the yard and bag up small pieces of wire-loom (the black corrugated plastic that goes around wires on cars. I know I can buy it new at the parts store, but the quality of the stuff they sell is nowhere NEARLY as good as what the OEMs use) to use on the cars I work on.

I can also find ways to upgrade things on my car using existing parts.

Spoiler

For example, when I was rebuilding the worn out steering linkage on my car, I found out that the steering shaft from a Chevy Astro van will fit in the same place as the one on my Trans Am. So I now have a U-jointed steering shaft for a fraction of the price that some aftermarked companies charge for a custom billet shaft.

When I have time, I like to go to the Ropa Usadas (Used clothing stores) in the warehouse districts. You can find all kinds of used clothes for pennies on the dollar.
Just last month I picked up an Italian wool suit for $7; I took it to a tailor shop to have the waist taken in, then had it dry cleaned, and I'm looking sharp for under $30.

 

I once bought a pair of pajama pants from a Salvation Army in Erie, PA that both fit me perfectly and still had the tag on them. They were black, white, and pink with Hello Kitty faces on them. I was really into Hello Kitty at the time and truly believed they were sent their just for me.

 

I bought $10 nunchucks in Montreal's Chinatown a while back. They we're cheap, sure, but hey I was a kid with nunchucks. Life was sweet. One day I decided to fuck around with them outside when a friend took them and wanted to see if they were strong enough to break the curb. Yeah... the guy is that much of an idiot. Needless to say the 'chucks are long gone.

 

Not anymore... Touchdown Jesus was struck by lightning and burned to the ground last night.

 

And I thought my dad was mean.