On the subject of buying women drinks I present the following if long, masterfully crafted rant: Oh click me. You know you want to. Yes, yes, that's the spot.
Never really received any dating advice, and if I did, I sure as hell wasn't listening. So here's mine for you to ignore: be honest with your intentions if the opportunity presents itself, as sometimes your intentions are not want you really want. AND. Split them whiskers when you have the chance. If the girl is bangin', and you have the opportunity to have sex, do it. She is none too impressed with your presentation of constitution by withholding it, and you will ultimately lose.
Good Advice from my dad Don't play the dating game, if you like the girl let her know it. Starting a relationship off by making th other person feel like shit is retarded. Shitty advice "If you're not getting your dick sucked by date number three move on." I used to live by that rule and I'm just beginning to realize what a bag of bullshit that is. Even shittier advice "If you're not official it's not cheating" Fuck that advice right up its ass, I can't believe how many people buy into that bullshit. If you're gonna fuck randoms at least have the respect to not string someone along by making them think you want a relationship with them.
Quite a few people seem to be saying essentially, "Be yourself, be straight forward and don't play games." Problem is, in my experience, guys love the chase. Red dot away, but they flock like moths to a flame to the girl who maintains their interest but doesn't actually let herself be caught. One of my best friends was a giant manwhore for years (and has only recently hung up that hat), and he absolutely thrived on it. I'm not suggesting that a girl should be a shameless tease, but I think if the guy feels like he 'caught' (for lack of a better word) her too easily his interest isn't sustained. Thoughts?
Totally depends on what the end-game is all about. If you're looking for a quick/disposable fuck, then sure, the "chase" can be fun. If you're looking for something more long-term, etc., the chase becomes too much of a game, if that makes sense. And sometimes women have to know when to let themselves be caught.
Well said. My bar-hopping days are well over, but I fuckin' hated going out with a couple of friends and listening to them talk shit all night about how they were going to get laid, and pick up the hottest chicks, blah blah blah, tired bullshit. Wouldn't have bothered me so much if they didn't just sit at one table ordering drinks for any piece of ass that walked by, skipping the follow-up. I've been rejected more times than I can count while cruising for tail. I've blown a shitload of cash on drinks for women who didn't even want to look at me when I approached. I've gone home alone many times. At least I tried, eh? Didn't work 100% of the time. Hell, it didn't work 25% of the time, but I can safely say I'm not one of those pin-headed pricks who sits at the table on his elbows, shoulders hunched up like a shit-chucking ape, nursing a beer, staring at every low-cut top and pair of tight pants that walks by. FOCUS: Dating advice is all bullshit, because we all want something different. You can't just write down a list of rules and pretend it's going to work for everyone. There are a thousand and one factors to consider in every situation, and there are a thousand and one more that aren't even being seen. ALT. FOCUS: Don't listen to anyone else.
This is just my take, but if a girl plays hard to get too hard, she isn't gotten. I've had girls that I tried (really hard) to get that definitely displayed interest to a point, but then just feign away. When that happened, I figured I just wasn't what she had originally thought and moved on. Maybe I just don't have that rapist wit to keep trying when it doesn't seem like it'll work. But I can tell you that on more than one occassion, I've had that same girl approach me later after seeing me with someone else wondering why I didn't really call anymore, or why I didn't keep trying because she really liked me and thought we'd work well together. Listen, some chase is fun. As guys, there's probably some caveman hunter instinct that still thrives in all of us and it's fun to get the girl you tried for. But at a certain point, you feel like a cat chasing a laser pointer and it gets annoying. So you cut your losses and you go play with the catnip mouse, which can be gotten, doesn't disappear or play games, and makes you happy.
There is some truth to that. We like to think that the girl we're interested in is a prize worth competing for and winning, but only to a certain point. Women have better bullshit detectors, true, but we aren't without them ourselves. Eventually we will figure out you're letting us chase you just to be chased, and that will kill our interest quicker than finding out you used to have a dick. It's age specific too, as younger people put up with more stupid shit because they don't know better yet, but what I think we really want is someone who has an interesting, full life of their own and has to be convinced (for lack of a better word) that it is worth their time to make space for us in their life, and vice versa.
I have no friends that are turned on by "Hard To Get". That may have worked well during innocent ol' high school, but back in my singles days the ones who made you chase had you resorting to many guy's philosophy: "Oh Well, Move On To Plan B".* *- and C. And D. And...Q.
Very recently, one of the my girlfriend's best friends began dating a guy she met at a party. For the ease of story-telling, I will name her GPW (Game-playing whore). Since I hang around with both of them fairly often, I became privy to the mindset they hold when dating, and to say the least, I was appalled at some of the things I heard. When I would get the next day recap of how a date went, I repeatedly am told that GPW isn't sure if she likes the guy or not, but that doesn't stop her from making out with him the whole evening, making him feel as if she did like him. Because GPW doesn't have a lot of dating experience, and has her own personal intimacy issues, she goes to a therapist, who tells her to treat this guy as you would a goldfish. Meaning that you can pretty much flush him away when he either dies or you get sick of him. No big loss. No real commitment necessary. Because her therapist gave her the idea, they now refer to this guy as "goldfish" when talking about him. Future dates occur and she is very touchy-feely with him. (We went on a double-date) They kiss throughout the date, hold hands the entire time, and look just like a happy couple. From an outside perspective, and from what I can see by looking at them, you would think she is into him. Later that evening, we are sitting around talking. GPW's date has since gone home, sex-less as usual because GPW is a virgin and is waiting until she is totally in love first.(whatever, thats fine...shes totally missing out) At the end of the date, he behaves rather amorous to only be turned down. His body language goes from horny to rejected, defeated and confused. She claims that she doesn't know if she really likes him. That she finds some of his behavior "Sketchy" but didn't elaborate. What I don't get is why she finds it disrespectful that he keeps coming on to her when she basically gives him a green light throughout the evening. She has never told him her personal views on sex, so he is naturally confused. If I were on the date and she was all over me the whole night, I would take that as her liking me. I'm not saying that she needs to have sex with him. What I am saying is that she is not communicating fairly with him sending him mixed signals. Am I wrong here to be angry at these games?
There is a difference in being coy and being an overselfindulgent gameplaying shithead. Goes for both sexes. I think I made up a word there. I don't care.
Best Advice: Go out and talk to girls. It sounds so simple and obvious, but a lot of guys don't do it. They sit around moping and trying to plan the perfect line or whatever, but they don't realize that dating is all about experience and numbers. You can't get good at it by sitting in your man cave. Worst Advice: Go to law school, chicks dig lawyers. Off Focus: I can't stand who girls who say they don't play games. All this means is that they don't identify their behavior as a game. They've just internalized all their little tactics to such a point that it's habit and part of their personality.
True, the "hold up the wall" tecnique made you look like an asshole during those uncomftorable grade 7/8 dances just as you look like an asshole now. You have to sing for your supper, so talk. Talk about ANYTHING. Make a funny joke you stole from a cooler friend. Talk about how you're going to the doctor to get that thing looked at. Bust a beer bottle over your face. She can't SENSE you're attracted to her because she's not psychic, and even if you get shot down at least you're trying.
I'll buy a drink for a girl, as long as she buys the first round. Sound crazy? Just let me explain myself. More times than not in this situation, you're dealing with a girl chasing free drinks. Her night consists of this: find a guy, flirt with him, convince him to buy drink, disappear, find a new guy, repeat the cycle. These girls can lick my fucking nutsack. I have no interest in being a sucker. So by adhering to my "you buy first" policy, I'm weeding out the girls hunting for a sucker. Conversely, if she finds me interesting enough to continue talking to for the immediate future, $3 for a beer is hardly a steep price to prove that--especially since it's already been established that I'll be reciprocating. And you'd be surprised how many girls who fall outside of the "hunting for free drinks" demographic actually will respect you MORE for this. It shows that you're not a pushover, and you're not just looking to feed her drinks and bang her. You piss off a lot of the bitchy ones, but is that really much of a loss?
I buy girls drinks all the time, but not in order to hook up with them. When I buy someone a drink it's just because I'm in a good mood and feel like spreading the joy.
I think this part says it all. The women who do stupid shit like this are the same ones who need a dating website to meet guys. You really don't need to know all these bullshit rules. Just be interesting and friendly, try to make yourself look at least half-decent, then go out and talk to new people until you find somebody who you like (and who likes you back). I won't say it's necessarily easy or a quick process, but it's not particularly complicated. Oh, and don't forget to wear your pilot's goggles. Nobody gets laid without pilot's goggles.
What happens if the girl buys you the first one and then totally ends up SUCKING? Cuz I'd bail man. The whole "analyzing buying drinks" thing is funny to me. Like many mature intelligent folks on here have stated, I'll buy drinks for girls all the time. I'm just a jolly guy like that. But I don't think I've ever really walked up to a girl and said, "Hey can I buy you a drink?" and the couple times that girls have walked up to me and asked for a drink they were met with, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA". I think Crown said it. You're all adults, here's to the ability to sense when a girl is actually into you.
Really? You sip your drink and politely laugh at all her jokes. When she pauses for breath, excuse yourself to the mens room and then go find someone else to talk to. Best Dating Advice: Bring your own condom. (Maternal Grandmother, 2005) Worst Dating Advice: Always order the salad. (Cosmopolitan Magazine, every fucking issue since I hit puberty) Hilarious Dating Advice: Watch out for Roman hands and Russian fingers. (Dad, middle school)
Yeah. Obviously. I was referring to BaseallGuys "you buy the first one, I'll get the next round" stance. In which case, him leaving after her buying a round is superficially the same as the girl leaving after the guy buys her a drink.
Not quite the same. In that case you're both even in lost $, as opposed to her blowing you off and essentially wasting your beer money.