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Dating Rules

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by PewPewPow, Feb 27, 2010.

  1. PewPewPow

    PewPewPow
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    Unfucking believable. I found this and thought I'd share. It's excerpts from a list of womens' dating rules. Seriously ladies, it's not the middle ages anymore any half decent looking smart guy is gonna drop you like a brick and move on.

    http://www.topdatingtips.com/dating-rules-for-women.htm


    "Let your man pay. If he is interested, he is interested enough to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab.

    Ensure you receive flowers. If he doesn't know what a florist is, dump him.

    Always keep a guy waiting and never turn up early. It is a lady's perogative.

    Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying.

    If he is available Tuesday, you are available Thursday.

    Keep your man standing on quicksand by shifting landmarks and goalposts constantly.

    Always reply to emails at least 3 days after receipt.

    Ladies, always remember that you are a sexy, desirable woman and the world is your oyster. Always let men do the chasing and always allow yourself to be the chooser. Always stay safe and never risk yourself for the sake of attending a date. Always use a safe dating Website."



    Focus What's the worst dating advice you've ever gotten ?
    Alt Focus What's the best?
     
  2. effinshenanigans

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    So never be available and when/if you are available, play games as much as possible and fuck with his head. It's so stupid, it has to work!

    This sounds more like a guide on how to be a miserable single woman. The next steps are:

    -Buy 13 cats with varying degrees of mange

    -Eat your weight in Wendy's Frosty's

    -Take pride in yourself for being the only woman masturbating in half of a bear costume on Chatroulette.

    Focus:
    "Try to be a jerk. Women love jerks. Women fuck jerks" (In person, the italicized emphasis was given with a vicious hip thrust.)

    Alt Focus:
    "Don't listen to retarded dating tips. Be yourself and act like you would around anyone else who already knows and likes you."
     
  3. ghettoastronaut

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    My uncle Jerry gives out horrible advice all the time. He has successfully married and divorced more women that I've dated (not that this is saying much); overall, this is the least of his issues, and as I get older my parents/aunts/uncles are willing to talk about more shit that he's done with me in earshot. Nonetheless. It's nothing but pure tripe about being confident, asking for her number, leaving, calling her a few days later and taking her out to lunch. Over and over and over, every single family gathering. One day I will get drunk enough around him to rip him to pieces.
     
  4. Crown Royal

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    Available on Thursday must mean "You, a bag of raw cookie dough and your Dolphin while watching Beaches", because if a guy's turn-on is the woman acting like an unflinching, unremorseful bitch than he's not really a man.

    Good Advice:

    Be right on time. There can be no stupid or childish "judging" that way.

    Speaking of judging: Ladies, we aren't ACTUALLY stupid enough to fall for the "Accidently running into your friends while we're out" bullshit gag. It's actually kind of insulting and you're not winning any brownie points by having your hens cackle over the new guy.

    Withholding sex only works in the first 48 hours of meeting a man. After that, just remember: a hungry dog can always just turn over the trash.

    Bad Advice

    Every single fucking thing in the thread's first article. Whore Logic is now an offical mainstay of humour on this board and in my life.
     
  5. no use for a name

    no use for a name
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    Truly great advice for finding and keeping a desparate and lonely man with no self esteem. This is like PUA for chicks.
     
  6. Supertramp

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    Article: Keep your man standing on quicksand by shifting landmarks and goalposts constantly. - This is the single worst piece of advice in that article. If you disagree, you've never had it happen to you. A goodlooking, interesting girl going HOT-cold-HOT-cold every other day for an extended period of time is the breeding ground for misogyny.

    Focus: This was while I was with someone, "Dude you should stay with her, you have a good, comfortable thing going on!" Instant relationship killer in my opinion. We're all young, who the hell is looking for a good, comfortable thing? It gets boring and stale really quickly. Everyone's does.

    "All women are whores" - No they're not. Just because you allowed yourself to be abused doesn't mean that all women are whores. If three consecutive girlfriends cheat on you, it's your fault not the female gender's.

    "Don't bother chasing her, she's outta your league." - The most gorgeous women are the least approached, usually. It's defeatist to call off the game before it's even begun. What's the worst that could happen? She says she's not interested. Big deal, you move on.

    "Always pay for everything." - Nope. My rule is simple: If I ask her out, I'll pay. If she asks me out she should pay, if it gets a bit awkward we'll split it (but then afterward in an un-related conversation I'll explain my rule to her).

    Alt. Focus: Improve yourself. If you're shy, take steps to not be. If you're afraid of rejection, approach women at all times to get over that. It's not rocket science, women are all attracted to a guy who is confident and comfortable in his own skin.

    When you're on a date don't bring up past relationships, don't argue over politics or religion and if you catch yourself ranting - it's over, she hates you by now. Keep the conversations light, FUNNY and topical. Asking about celebrities/school is a sure-fire way to get a conversation going if the person is younger (read: 14).

    Question: What's the general concensus on getting girls drinks in order to hookup with them?
     
  7. PIMPTRESS

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    Women do that? Seriously, I don't get it. If I want my friends to meet you, it is because I like you enough to answer a bunch of questions about you later.


    Bad Advice: If he has a good job, is somewhat nice, and doesn't have hookers buried in the backyard, he's a catch. Fuck that. Don't settle because he looks good, or okay, on paper. If you aren't feeling it, don't waste time and energy, yours or his.


    It is a good ice breaker, if you have something to offer. Just sending a drink and then cowering, hoping she's going to come blow you for it is fucking lame.
     
  8. MoreCowbell

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    I hope the author dies alone with 75 cats.


    Oh, on the drinks: file it under "we all pay for sex somehow."

    You can probably tell from the above in how high of esteem I hold the "never pays for her drinks" type.
     
  9. Indiana

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    It's not an issue of whether girls like assholes or men like high maintenance girls who string them along because if you ask most of them, this clearly is not the objective. Both sexes just like the thrill of the chase and sometimes, if a personal connection is harder to achieve, it just seems more rewarding, short term anyways. The same way that most people who are playing head games like that in the dating scene are usually just insecure and enjoy the extra attention received from a guy or a girl trying so hard to win their approval.
    That being said, these rules are bullshit, I don't think anyone is disputing that. Just another example of girls everywhere being told that they're a special unique flower and that their one mister right is out there. I say shit can the whole "if you build it they will come" mentality because if you build a stuck up, haughty, thunder cunt, the only thing coming is her while she watches Twilight and rubs her clit with a Snickers bar.

    I think it's cute. You don't see it that much these days because men are so tainted into believing that despite their best 'drink buying efforts', the chick is probably not going home with them anyways. Honestly, if I really like a guy in a bar, I always buy him a drink, most of the time a round of shots for him and his boys. It usually catches them off guard and lets him know that I can take care of myself and am genuinely interested.
     
  10. Primer

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    Alt Focus What's the best?

    Be a gentleman. Open the door for her, hang her coat up and don't cum in her hair.

    Unless she's been a real bitch, then the hair is fair game.
     
  11. Crown Royal

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    I'd say you're both adults, so what happens happens. Just make sure you're lit up too to avoid immature confrontation later. However, I wouldn't consider her "date" material. If you have to sauce her in order to knock boots.

    EDIT: NEVER buy a woman drinks if she didn't bring a purse with her. It's a tell-tale sign amongst bar stars that they expect guys to buy them drinks all night before going home to their dead-beat, X-Box playing bootycalls. In other words, they are worthless.
     
  12. Nitwit

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    I'll just offer this.

     
    #12 Nitwit, Mar 2, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. MoreCowbell

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    Move along, move along, no contradictions to be seen here. Entirely internally consistent.
     
  14. jennitalia

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    So he's supposed to chase me, but I'm supposed to go get him? Yeah, I'll get right on that.

    The worst dating advice comes from my family who have given me a list of boys who are acceptable for me to marry. The list consists of two people.
     
  15. whathasbeenseen

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    Focus
    Be yourself. ~ My mother
    Call bullshit as you see it. ~ My father
    Remain always calm and in control. ~ My brother
    Cocked up, head down, pussy poppin on a handstand. Leave that pussy smokin. ~ Mystical
     
  16. MoreCowbell

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    Best dating advice ever:

    I don't really know who to attribute this to (probably suapyg), but women are people. Don't treat them like some other species known as "women," treat them like people.

    From my old boss, who had the balls to approach President Bush's daughter (and got the best rejection ever: "I don't eat dinner."): "Colin, sack up. What do you have to lose? Say she says no. Where are you? Exactly where you were 2 minutes ago. You have nothing to lose."




    In high school, my father advised me to dump my current girlfriend in early December, and then start dating her again in January. He said the same thing about Valentine's Day. I don't know how my parents are still married.
     
  17. Crown Royal

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    ....HUH??!? Wow, talk about baiting this thread for jokes.

    I'll be waiting for Allord to comment on this line from the stupid atricle, but I'll go for now: Ladies if you have ANY bodily functions that are like a man's (for instance, a schlong), he probably won't stick around for the demonstration AT ALL. There will just be a Road Runner-style cloud of dust where he used to be, followed by a shower with industrial soap and steel wool.
     
  18. MoreCowbell

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    Apparently someone does not know the definition of "function." Hint: it isn't the same as "organ."
     
  19. Fernanthonies

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    I really have no problem buying a drink for a girl, but I am also pretty generous when I'm buzzed. There are a couple girls in our group of friends that usually go out with us on weekends and I have no problem buying any of them a shot now and then.

    Same goes with a girl I just met, but I can usually recognize the ones that just want a free drink and will disappear as soon as you buy them one. Those types of girls are usually vacuous bitches anyway, so fuck them.
     
  20. Crown Royal

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    See also: sarcasm, which you obviously didn't pick up on.