Man orders prostitute, daughter arrives Focus: Getting caught by parents or close friends doing something fucked up. It doesn't have to be "Got caught with peanut butter and the dog" or "Got caught pleasuring myself with the potted ficus in the basement," but there's probably some hilarious stories out there. Do your family and friends still give you shit for it? Alt-Focus: Have you caught your family / friends doing something that made you say, "I didn't want to know" and weep at the fact that you will never be able to erase that knowledge from your mind? Anti-Focus: The above, except you somehow managed NOT to get caught or explained it away. No, Dad, I have no idea why Naughtyzoo.com is so prevalent in the Internet history. How did you avoid becoming "that guy" at drunk family get-togethers?
Alt focus: My father has walked in on me having sex. As I have mentioned, my fist girlfriend was my step sister. One night during Christmas break, we were hanging out in the living room after we thought my parents had gone to sleep. Well my dad got up for some reason and walked in to the living room. There he finds the step sister and I mid coitus. Fortunately we were under a blanket, doing an on the side spoon style, and going at it fairly slowly. My father looked suspicious, but fortunately didn't blow up, or pull the blanket off us. He did however tell us that we should probably get to bed soon. And that he didn't want "anything more than the cuddling you are doing" going on. To be fair we did exactly what he said. We did not escalate past the vanilla sex we were having, and we went to bed as soon as we were done a few minutes later.
The problem now becomes, how the hell does anyone follow a post that begins, "So I was fucking my stepsister in our parent's living room..."?
I must preface this by saying that I was an giant fuckup/black sheep around the time I graduated high school and by that time was almost exclusively interested in partying (up to and often including the Charlie Sheen type sketchy stuff.) The details aren’t important but I ended up getting sentenced to sixty days in jail for a DWI and was given two weeks to prepare. With such an occasion on the horizon I took it upon myself to reenact the backstage portion of the Appetite For Destruction tour on a daily basis. The day before my departure predictably I got blackout before the sun was down and given that I wouldn’t be able to spend it soon anyway decided to buy some coke. I won’t bother to nor could I accurately recount much of the rest of the story until the moment time stood still. It was past dawn. The fierce sunlight was peeking through the blinds of my shitty one bedroom producing cigarette smoke laser beams that went across the dark room. On the cheap coffee table sat a chunk of blow that looked like half a golfball next to a rolled up twenty and other assorted paraphernalia like a D.A.R.E. stock photo. Footsteps approach and a key goes in the door. Aaaand my mom is viewing a side angle of me getting a half-mast (ballsack knows what I’m talking about here) half hearted blow/handjob from what was not the classiest woman I have associated with. After the seemingly eternal few seconds it took my mom to leave in horror we sat in silence staring at the wall. After more coke and vigorous chatting I got a text, what may have been my mother’s first, telling me to get ready. I didn’t need to impress anyone yet still felt an urge to put suit on and tried to put a dent in the remaining sniff. I gave the rest to the girl when she departed and with cheap aviators on my face and a tall beer in my hand I hopped in my mom’s car for the longest ride of my life. Not a word was spoken; while she would tolerate neither in her car ordinarily, the beer and half-dozen cigarettes smoked were not objected to. I got dropped off at the curb and spent several antsy hours in a crowded court room before they invited me up to the front and presented me with a shiny set of bracelets and a seat in the V.I.P. box away from all the commoners. For the moment the constant fear of the land of rape and weightlifting escaped me and I wanted only a nice steel bunk to curl up on. And more cigarettes. That was about five years ago and it still has not been spoken of directly. It was vaguely alluded to once during a private argument at a Christmas gathering and it was a trump card on the scale of Fat Man and Little Boy. BOOM ROASTED.
Incredible, I've got a semi just thinking about that. Imagine that a chick you can fuck when your're like 15 and she's only one room over. I don't care what anyone says, it's not incest, especially if you met her before both your parents met (presumably through you two dating).
I'm more interested in which one of them got the idea from the Internet. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.snopes.com/college/risque/daughter.asp" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.snopes.com/college/risque/daughter.asp</a>
WHHHHHAAAAA. Dude, if I walked in on my son fucking my "step" daughter? Shit would go down. I also had a good chuckle at your typo. "fist girlfriend" Hehe. Focus: I did nearly nothing "wrong" in high school. I didn't drink, smoke, party, or anything that normal parents probably had to go through with their kids. My parents got off scotch free. That all changed when I got to college and realized that alcohol was incredibly fun stuff. I spent the first month or so getting hammered without parental supervision, and trying to make out with as many girls as possible (still a virgin, whoo!). The first time my parents came to drop some stuff off at my dorm for me was the day before Halloween, and they decided to surprise me...at 9 oclock at night. I had a friend with smallish benefits over and we had been making out for a good hour while my roommate was gone, while also playing a drinking game to the movie that was on (Some Arnold movie). I thought it was my roommate so I shouted "just come in!". My Mom's facial expression is forever trapped in my mind. She first saw the girl on my lap and was taken aback, then empty beer cans in the room and her face turned into a quizzical look, and then she looked at me and I could see disappointment hiding right behind her eyes. To her credit, she turned immediately out of the room and waited until I made things presentable. That was the most awkward 10 minutes I've ever spent with my family.
My dad caught me getting drunk with my friends when I was 13. Usually, that would have been one of the few belt-worthy offenses, but my dad looked legitimately saddened and disappointed and did nothing but walk away. I later paid him back with minimal craziness and good grades in college as the partying was well out of my system by then. Then when I was 16, my dad found a used condom under my bed that I had forgotten about. The worst part? It was his best friends daughter that I assured him I wouldn't "disrespect" beforehand. Oops. He promised not to tell my mother as long I spent the next Saturday painting part of the barn. I happily obliged.
No. We did long distance my senior year while she was a freshman out of state. Then we just kind of fell apart my freshman year at Mizzou. Although we were still friends with benefits during breaks for quite a while.
So do you still get to break off a little piece at Thanksgiving, family reunions, Christmas, etc?[/quote] Unfortunately, no. Once she found a guy that ended. She is fortunately a good person. So I have a lot of love for her outside of her body.
I am just sitting here blinking my eyeballs while I re read this thread thinking I've made some horrible reading error somewhere, ANYWHERE. I have 2 stepbrothers and...umm...hmm.....*shakeshead* I just cannot wrap my head around this and, as Frebis would happily point out, I also have what he calls a "duncle" meaning the following for those that don't know: My Mom was 18 when she married my Father. When I was 3 or so they divorced and she married his Brother. And no neither of my steps are from either marriage, both are from another one later. Yours trumps mine dude. Whoa. Who else knew about this, anyone?