I work as a technician for an optical company that sells direct to the consumer. I fix their optics, and have to take tech support calls for our products. Most of the people I talk with are level headed as they have the product in hand and want it to work, and we will explain it, and they will get it, and how to work it, and are on the most part appreciative. Thank god. However when the sales/customer service line overflows, I have to take those calls until the lines die down. These calls are the worst. However there is one customer that is a problem for my department and customer service. He lives in the Southwest and prefaces every call to us with the fact that he is "a disabled vet". Every interaction with his is a problem because he is an insufferable ass, and it was ALWAYS our fault. This has been going on for about 10 years, and he has never been happy with us bending over and lubing up our assholes for his shit. He just won't be happy with any answer anyone gives him However in speaking with the department manager not long ago, he decided to tell my supervisor what the problem was why he could never be pleased with us. In face, he had experience with the issue. Everyone in our company was on drugs. That is right, we were smoking the reefer, snorting to crack, huffing the glue. We dropped acid before our shifts, and were rolling on E at the start of everyday. So about 4 days after the last conversation with my supervisor, a box is delivered to the supe; unmarked. My supervisor opens it up. In the box is a deluxe drug test kit for around 100 people with a note from the customer described above ordering my supervisor to conduct drug tests for everyone in our company, and fire anyone who tests positive. Focus: For all you people who deal with retail or customers in general, describe your most absurd customer interactions.