Within the last couple of days, one of our board members, who is middle(?) aged, single, and financially pretty comfortable, placed an order for a boner-inducing piece of precision German engineering; a 2012 Porsche Turbo Cabriolet. One of the first reps he got was along the lines of "nice midlife crisis". While I do not for a second consider that purchase anything even remotely resembling a mid-life crisis, I know some people do go through them. (Let's face it, if you were single, and could afford one, why the fuck WOULDN'T YOU buy a fun car?) FOCUS: Tell us about you or anyone you know that has gone through a mid-life crisis. ALT-FOCUS: What would you do if you had a mid-life crisis?
I went to a summer work party once, held at the house of a middle-aged manager who I liked very much. He was good-natured and extremely mild-mannered, a Clark Kent sort of fellow. I imagine that, for him, an exciting weekend would involve going to a movie AND a baseball game. Someone asked me to go out into the garage and bring some drinks in or something, so I head out there and I open the garage and there's a new convertible Porsche sitting in there. I came back in and said "Jesus, what's wrong Sam? Are you and Betty (his wife of ~20 years) having trouble?" He was confused. I laughed and said "the car?!?" "Oh, yeah! Isn't it great!" He was very excited about it and assured me that, no, Betty and he were doing just fine together. 12 months later he was single. I kind of feel bad now. Well, bad in a sort of smug "yep, I called it." way. My dad went through one too, of the most prototypical sort. It was like somebody called up central casting and ordered up "guy going through mid-life crisis." Lamentations of unfulfilled potential? Check. Attempt to recapture the "glory days?" Check. Career stagnation? Check. Impractical, mechanically shitty new car with stupidly overpowered engine? Check. Fulfillment always seemed to be just a hair's breadth out of reach for my dad. It's interesting for me to look back now; I still can't figure out how much of that was life choices he could have made differently, how much was just him never really coming to terms with his own abilities and limitations, and how much was him wanting some kind of life that didn't really exist (and that wouldn't have fulfilled him even if he had achieved it). It's hard to say; I'd really rather avoid one if I could. I'm a career-oriented person (as opposed to family-oriented or socially-oriented); that's what makes me feel like I am doing something useful in the world. I hit all my early career goals by the time I was 20 and hit all my late career goals by the time I was 30. Anything I do or don't do for the next ~30 years is just icing on the cake. Without any major unfulfilled ambitions, what is there to have a crisis about? I will admit that I could have had more fun in my teens and 20s, but I look back and realize why I wouldn't have been able to understand that back then.
Seeing as only one male from my father's side of the family has made it out of his mid-50's I should technically be going through a mid life crisis right now.... My dad didnt seem to be disenchanted with his middle aged life but he did go through the powerful car buying phase. It came after one of his good motorcycle buddies dropped dead from a heart attack the same day he received his Gold Wing motorcycle club invitation/acceptance. Feeling his own mortality he went out in search of buying a Corvette, a car he had always wanted. He ended up getting a 90' black Vette, I liked the color but the model year was not very awe inspiring. He spent the majority of his time working on it trying to fix the fucking speedometer display which never worked right. But he got his fun out of it going on Corvette club rides. He'd died of cancer about a year and a half after he got it. Alt Focus: Getting a powerful car isn't a bad idea. I drove the vette plenty and did love the feel of the power. It's easy to see why people go nuts for stuff like that. Having visited China and seeing how a lot of middle aged guys role with stuff here. Id probably come back and trade up any future wife for a smoking hot Chinese girl half her age. That's if, one I get married, two, I get tired of future wife, and three, Im not dead from heart disease/cancer by my "mid-life." I'd probably by my Chinese trophy wife a set of bolt on titties since it's kind of hard to find Asian girls with huge knockers.
It's Friday night, I'm sitting home alone eating Yogo and drinking Pepsi. Who the fuck is waiting for mid-life to have a crisis?
When I was 17, I was dating a girl whose dad was a high up executive at a fortune 500 company. They were very well off, he was in his late 40s, married to a girl he dated in college, driving the family Range Rover with two beautiful daughters. Over the course of the time I was dating this girl, her dad: A) got divorced B) bought two sports cars (a Porsche and some custom hot rod from a local shop) C) got heavily into some weird religion D) married an absolutely gorgeous 26-year-old Polynesian woman I mean, this girl he married was spectacular. All she did for a living was exist and be hot. But damn, she was good at it. The whole household went weird after that, though, with a ditzy 26 year old trying to be a mother to two teenage daughters, the dad coming home a little weirder after every religious gathering... I went on a trip out west and mailed the girlfriend a piece of sandstone with a coyote engraved on it. Her dad saw it, flipped his shit, and announced that Coyote was The Trickster and the rock was bringing bad spirits to the house. After she refused to get rid of it, he snuck into her room one night while she was sleeping, stole it, and charred it to a blackened lump in a fire pit.
Well, I guess after my husband dumps me for a girl younger and hotter than me, I will have no choice but to get a little botox, go on a South Beach Diet (or whatever is the diet du jour), buy some animal print, and become a cougar.
Don't you revere this guy? He's got more money than jesus but he still acts like a total boner to his exes. BTW, best. Midlife crisis. Ever.
There's a big difference between midlife crisis and just enjoying yourself. I for one do not subscribe to the idea that I should hoard every cent for when I retire. I feel that I could be swept off this planet at any time & don't believe in putting off the "fun" of life until I can't truly enjoy myself. What would be fun at 50 will be even better at 30. However if you look for a major life change/improvement because of a toy you buy... you're going to continue to be unhappy after the "new" wears off. My boss had a midlife crisis a few years ago. Went out and bought every expensive model Cadillac makes including all the V-series cars. After a month of having everyone fawn all over how awesome his fleet was he was still an out of shape, boring 50 year old man. Went right back to being an unhappy douche as soon as the new wore off too. It's not the stuff you own that makes your life great, it's a great life that makes the stuff you own enjoyable.
One of my uncles is a bigshot at a construction firm. To say he has done well for himself financially is to say that Charlie Sheen has trifled in cocaine. So he's got all the standard expenses down: kids, house, multiple cars, cottage, renovating and appointing said house. He previously had a perfectly fine sports car, but had tons of issues with the clutch. So he's now traded it in for a Porsche 911 turbo. He bought the turbo over the regular model because he liked the way the side intake manifolds looked. I'd call him a lucky bastard but he obviously works hard for it. And fuck, if I made that kind of money and had taken care of all the core responsibilities, you bet your ass I'd buy a nice car. But if I were going to put down that kind of cash, I'd rather live somewhere that had nice and twisty roads to drive around rather than the boring, British grid system we have here. As for my mid-life crisis? I'd just up and move to Europe and be as bohemian as possible. Ride a scooter around, eat gratuitous amounts of bread and cheese and take full advantage of the liberal attitudes towards alcohol. Maybe have a (bohemian) job somewhere in between to be financially sustainable.
Also, I think a lot of people confuse "mid-life crisis" with "having worked long enough to have some substantial disposable income." I think you'd be hard-pressed to find an average guy in his 20s or 30s who wouldn't love to own a Porsche Turbo. I know I would. Most people in their 20s or 30s are still starting their careers, some are just starting families or making their first large purchases like a new house, and have neither the money saved nor the disposable income to reasonably buy a $100k car. So a guy finally gets into a spot where the house is paid off, or the kids aren't a financial burden, or the savings and career have reached a place where an expensive toy is within reach... and they buy it. That's going to tend to happen at the clichéd "mid-life crisis" age.
I get your joke but seriously. I think half the point of a midlife crisis is realizing what youve built up isnt as satisfying as you thought it be when you set out. While disposable income could explain some big toy purchases it doesnt explain why a lot of people are seriously unhappy with their life by then. Though maybe it does.
My dad makes really good money, but he spends none of it. He is a compulsive money hoarder. When time came for him to have his midlife crisis, he had a Jewish midlife crisis because he was so damn cheap about it. Instead of going out and buying the crazy ass sports car he could afford, he got the cheapest convertible on the market. Used:
Oh, I'm not saying that it doesn't exist. However, the knee-jerk response to a purchase like an expensive sportscar, or really any big-ticket "frivolous" purchase, is that it's because the buyer is going through some kind of mental turmoil and wants to relive their youth. I'm just saying that mid-life is about the time where you can actually reasonably afford such purchases so it's not always a fair characterization. Obviously, my ex-girlfriend's dad that I posted about had an actual crisis.
My dad has kind of been going through one over the last couple of years. He's been talking about retiring because he's so burned out, bought a Porsche, takes Pilates from me, and started taking spur of the moment trips to Vegas alone. As in..."Hey I'm going to Vegas." "Is Mom going with you?" "No...I bought a plane ticket and booked a room for tomorrow. She can't leave on that short of notice. I just need to get out of town. NOW." Sorry, but I think that's weird to go to Vegas, stay at the Wynn and gamble/see a bunch of shows alone. My dad's too much of a goofball for an affair/hookers, but that crossed my mind for a second. If I had a mid-life crisis I'd be all about the fake boobies, a closet full of designer clothes, and a pool boy named Miguel.
Not if its having sex with a girl half your age. I view a mid-life crisis more as a period of existential angst: I'm half-way through (at least one hopes it's only half-way), and what have I done? Have I made any meaningful contribution counting beans for Massive Conglomerate Intl. for the past 29 years? Is this all there is? For me, even a Bugatti couldn't fix that. Possessions aren't going to fill that void. At least that's been my experience.
I have a cousin who went through a mid-life crisis when he started to go bald. He shaved his head, bought a VW van, and his wife accidentally let it slip one day that he got a Prince Albert piercing.
This seems appropriate. Charlie recently dropped $790K on four cars, all of which went to other people, including a $320K Bentley Supersport Convertible that he gave to a porn star. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.4wheelsnews.com/charlie-sheen-goes-on-shopping-spree-this-month-and-buys-four-cars/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.4wheelsnews.com/charlie-shee ... four-cars/</a> Go big or go home.
My dad had a mid-life crisis when I was 12. He divorced my mom, got his ear pierced and grew his hair into a ponytail. He also stopped drinking, so I guess something good came out of it. Two years later, she took him back and told him if he didn't get rid of the earring, she'd leave him. So he cut off his hair and took out his earring. 12 years later, my mom is leaving my dad and she's seeing some other guy. He's the father of this HUGE nerd I went to high school with. Awesome.