"We always used to be so friendly to the sharks down at the beach. However, one day, he got a little too chummy"
Crown was a very tolerant person. He tolerated having a tub of coco butter dumped on his face while sleeping. He tolerated being thrown into a mountain of broken empties. He tolerated being shot with the fire hose in the apartment hallway. He tolerated seeing "Bewitched" in the theatre. Yes, he was tolerant. He died doing what he loved. Playing "Liquids Under The Sink Russian Roulette" (you just need some shot glasses, kids!).
While I lack the creativity to come up with my own, I figure this particular image might be enjoyed even though it's not an obituary.
Skyello was a pleasant man with a tolerable odor. He loved animals. He loved bringing children back to his gingerbread house. A conversation with skyello always felt like a PCP suppository. He wore his syphilis with dignity and pride and he will be missed.
If you wanna go that route... here are some tombstones brought to you by the letter N. "Dig up for a good time." "Your coffin or mine?" "If you have sex with my lifeless body, please be courteous and put it back. "I'm legal in Wisconsin." At least before 2008.
I always wanted a quote inscribed on my tombstone, probably "You are who you pretend to be; so be careful who you pretend to be" Failing that... "Here lies NeonWraith, he died when his attempts to hate someone out of existence caused him to have a fatal brain aneurysm"