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Crabs R' Us

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by effinshenanigans, May 19, 2010.

  1. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Do they farm the crabs, or harvest them from the wild?
     
  2. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    Maybe it's across the street from The Bunny Ranch.

    How is this legal?
     
  3. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    I doubt I'll be the only one to say this: What the FUCK. I love cold-blooded revenge as much as the next warm-blooded human, but this is borderline terrorism. Whatever happened to just fucking her sister?
     
  4. OBY

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    "At the very worst it’s malicious mischief, but even that’s a hard sell in court. Think of spray painting your name as vandalism, right? Think of this as something that doesn’t cause permanent damage, is easily removed, and little more than inconvenient and maybe embarrassing. This is more like writing your name in the snow, except that it’s all over a person. If there is little or no cost to undo the damage, what’s the problem, right? That’s what most any judge might probably agree."

    Taken from one of the crab sites
     
  5. whathasbeenseen

    whathasbeenseen
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    I has a question.

    Um. So like. Um. Crabs basically attach to hair follicles, yes? Pubes aren't exactly en vogue these days. Wonder if this would work for most young ladies/metrosexual men.
     
  6. OBY

    OBY
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    "How do I give away these crabs?

    It’s easier than you think! You can give them to yourself to transmit, or even hand them off physically to the intended victim, if you like. If your ex is the sort who keeps the landing strip shorn clean, you won’t actually be able to give them to her, but if you can put them in her bed, they can still live off her blood regardless of hair until her new lover comes over, at which time he will catch them from her sheets and blankets. Each order ships with a detailed brochure detailing a number of the most popular methods of giving the crabs, so don’t worry too much about it."

    I am just pulling this from the Q and A section. I wonder if the site is going to get a huge sales boost since it has been listed on here. Also I read on there that they have a shampoo resistant crab that they bred to take up to 10 days to kill using traditional methods.. How creepy is that? They have a lab that is breeding new breeds of crab!
     
  7. whathasbeenseen

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    What fucker said to himself, "You know the problem with crabs is that they're just to damned easy to get rid of. I know. I'll lock myself in a fucking lab for the next two weeks and breed their susceptibility to being killed so easily out of them. This will benefit all mankind greatly! And if not it'll finally give those dirty bitches who won't give me the time of day their come-uppance."

    >insert cartoonish evil laughter<
     
  8. Creelmania

    Creelmania
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    I think the Weekend Update comment on these, from this week's SNL, was pretty spot on.

     
  9. Primer

    Primer
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    I'm going to shave my entire body tonight.
     
  10. Solaris

    Solaris
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    This is fucking awful. I hope those unkillible crabs eventually end up infecting the person who made them. What an awful, evil thing to do.
     
  11. Tope

    Tope
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    Lice from the UK? Jesus that is scary. I'm glad a majority of sites that are discussed here hardly make it out into a general population. If this website blew up tomorrow and it was CNN or "The View," I'd fear for my life and others.

    Did anyone else notice the price? These motherfuckers are reasonably cheap.

    About $50 for those "F Strain" that are shampoo resistant. And $20 for the basic bundle.

    This is pretty fucked up. I'm with Crown on just fucking her sister.
     
  12. Kubla Kahn

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    I wonder how people got crabs in the first place. I mean I know it's the nasty low class hooker types that get them but how did this start out? Where people rolling their genitals around in dirt? This isn't a virus or bacteria, these are live animals. IN YOUR CROTCH HAIR. How does that even happen?!
     
  13. Pinkcup

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    There was once a rumor going around my high school that a certain popular football player got crabs from cheating on his girlfriend with a skank from the next school over. In order to get rid of them, he had to get a Brazilian wax. That's right--he had to get into doggy-style position, spread his legs, and let some aesthetician stick a popsicle stick dipped in hot wax into the manforest between his ass cheeks, on his taint, and all the way up to his bellybutton. And then he had to let her rip it off, over and over.

    I can't imagine that infecting someone with crabs would satisfy my urge for revenge, but if my ex had to go through what I go through when I get my lady business waxed.........not gonna lie, I would feel just a little bit better. This is brilliantly evil.
     
  14. Volo

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    Not to mention the fact that anyone fucking around with these things is running a good chance of buggering it up all to hell and getting crabs themselves.

    Fuck that. FUCK THAT! I don't want that shit anywhere near me, my home, my pets, my everything.
     
  15. Disgustipated

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    Then there's something more fitting for them: scabies.
     
  16. PIMPTRESS

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    This just has bad karma written all over it.
     
  17. Nettdata

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    I'd go down on that... as long as I had some clarified butter.