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Cougars are hungry.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Jan 7, 2010.

  1. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Huh. Wolverines. So those were what I always saw crawling around in London.

    So you mean the SPCA should have a 911 type hotline and fast reaction time? If a cougar will attack an 11 year old boy and bring a dog within an inch of its life, Lord only knows what it's going to get up to in the extra [x] minutes it would take until someone like the SPCA could show up. That, and as with other wild animals, once it has the habit of getting close to civilization, it'll keep coming back. Plenty of bears have to be euthanized just because they wander into town too much, without having ever posed a threat.

    When I read this story, I wondered why the family didn't have a high powered rifle for precisely this kind of situation. I know us Canadians aren't too hot on gun ownership, but it seems pretty pertinent that you own one so you can, y'know, save your kid's life if the wildlife live up to the "wild" part of their name. No neighbours nearby to step up and help, either? The "town" they live in has 890 residents, and it's legal to keep a rifle unlocked and bolt-in if there's a reasonable expectation of having to shoot wildlife on your property. Then again, it's a serious pain in the ass to try and get your license, and it only gets worse if you live somewhere without good access to qualified testers.
     
  2. Allord

    Allord
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    Because obviously in the blurry frenzy of motion that is a child and a cougar having a violently bloody and sexless carnivorous orgy you should by all means aim a rifle at the middle of the chaos and hope to god the bullet connects with blood-stained fur and not play dough-stained flesh.

    Better yet, why not just toss a grenade into the mix? Or use a flamethrower? Hell, they live in Canada, which is basically the Australian outback but with more Eskimos, it's damn irresponsible that they didn't have a bunker-entrenched 155mm naval gun atop their fortified bunker/igloo/pair of sticks in the ground with a moose hide stretched over it.

    Fuck the ASPCA. These guys aint American. They're Canadi-fucking-an. Fucking commonwealth, bitches. They should have called the Queen of England right then and there and told her just how frightfully uncivilized this overgrown tomcat was behaving and asked her if she could kindly look down her nose at the thing as she scrambled the galleons loaded with redcoats to respond to the crisis with cannon, musket, and a quick break for tea and biscuits before the violent and barbaric dismemberment of the carcass and tribal dance of victory around the camping fire with cougar limbs hoisted high above the flames as the naked family and coatless redcoats sang "God Save the Queen" and the scene fades to black as the credits roll with the music from the Lion King in the background.

    In the CIIIIIR-CUHHH-UH-UUUHH-UH-UHHL!!! The CIRCLE of LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!

     
    #22 Allord, Jan 8, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  3. Queen-Bee

    Queen-Bee
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    I never kill my prey - quite the contrary. Bad cougar.