A juicy steak. Fuck that. That dog sleeps on 500 thread count sheets and eats prime rib, forever. Tightass. I figured maybe it was time for a feel good pooch story. Discuss the story, how awesome it is, how you'd reward Angel and/or other awesome things you've seen or know of dogs doing just because they are dogs, and dogs rule.
I feel cheated. I was going to talk about how I would totally fuck Sophia Loren in "Grumpier Old Men".
Wow. Marvelous. It's really hard to reward a dog, since it seems their very existence is meant to cheer us up as owners and make us feel appreciated. This story just goes to show how wonderful an animal a dog can be. They go far beyond the limits of love than any other animal can achieve. I own a cat, but I have never met a cat or fucking parrot that was willing to die for me.
That dog is a badass. I read another article that said after she spit out blood, she then walked over to the kid she saved and licked him all over to make sure he was the one who was ok. If that were my dog, she would've earned a seat at the dinner table for life.
Maybe it's just me, but I would have preferred if the kid got eaten to save the dog. It's not that I don't like kids. Wait, actually, I don't like kids. Anyway, dogs are awesome. I'd give the dog the kid's room since it was too much of a pussy to defend himself. The dog, on the other hand, has a lot of potential. If it were my dog, I agree, steak every night, new bitches every day, and as many chewy toys as I could make from the carcass of my disappointment of a son.
First thing I'd do is move someplace that doesn't have frickin cougars roaming around. Edit: I think this is the first post of Ballsack's I've seen that I not only agree with, but gets a standing ovation. Cougar doggie bed, indeed!
Anti-Focus: My sister's cat, Butterscotch. We rescued him as a kitten and he was spoiled rotten. He was a huge orange and white cat, when he'd run his belly would be swinging from side to side so hard he'd almost fall over. We lived on acreage and he was primarily an outdoors cat. He was quite the hunter, always bringing home mice, lizards and small rabbits. In the Austin area, red tailed hawks are quite the predators and often made off with smaller pets in our neighborhood, between them and the coyotes and foxes, I was always surprised to see him every day. One day after riding, I was sitting on our front steps pulling my muddy boots off when a shadow passed over me. I look up and see Butterscotch running sideways-ish towards me as fast as he can. He is about 50 feet from me and I stand, looking for his pursuer. I see this spectacular hawk swooping in on him, talons reaching for the damn cat. I yell at it, like that's going to change it's mind. It gains purchase, talons gripping Butterscotches hide, bright red where there is entry. The cat is in full attack mode, snarling and spitting. I am running towards this duel, not sure if I would grab at the cat, hit the hawk, what? The hawk is having trouble getting that lardass cat off the ground, flapping hard to get lift. Butterscotch twists and starts batting the bird in the face. He swats at least 5 times when I am upon them and grab the cat. The hawk pulls away and is gone. He claws the shit out of me and runs away, still spitting mad. My sister is able to catch him later and we get him to the vet. He's lost some blood and needs his new holes stitched, but he's fine. The vet shook his head and said "That cat is to big an asshole to die." Well, he's dead now, in his sleep. He was the only cat I've ever liked.
Yeah, because random cougar attacks are a part of everyday Canadian life. Lord knows I've been attacked twice this week on the way to work.
Yet you take the time to call 911 instead of getting the shotgun that you are required as a Canadian to have over your fireplace and shoot the shit out of the cougar? This dog should be given to a family that gives a shit about it. Take a page from Where the Red Fern Grows and stick an axe between its shoulder blades people. Unless you don't own an axe and buy your firewood from people like me who take advantage of your laziness. Damn Canadians.
The problem with this story is clearly that the boy didn't own a cougar of his own. If everybody was armed with their own cougar, then the crazy cougars would know not to attack and we'd all be safe. Right?
Depends on the cougar, really. See some will know to stay away, but others will attack out of principal believing they are a superior cougar. Especially if hot-flashes are involved and how delicious the boy looks. Crazy cougars...
Hey 40-year-old women get lonely sometimes. Well, actually, most of the time. And his amazing stamina and doggedly intense passion are wasted on the couch cushions... But if you get a cougar, then your neighbor will get a bigger cougar, and his neighbors will get even bigger cougars, which will force you to get an even bigger cougar, and soon even the cougars will have cougars and they'll keep coming out with bigger and bigger cougars until one day they make a cougar so big it destroys us all. Fun Fact: If you zoom and enhance this image enough times you can see me waving from a picnic bench!
Pussy. I fought off a wolverine and a foaming-at-the-mouth moose that was going through my kitchen garbage five minutes ago. Then, I was late for work because the dog sled wouldn't start. THEN, I was stressed and couldn't club a baby seal to bring back home to the igloo (We all live in igloos. Look it up). Crazy country, EH?! Know what I'm talking a-boot? ....ballsack's just bitter towards Canada because he heard there was lots of snow up here and mistake that for supporting his contant cocaine habit. Go grind your teeth and keep thinking someone's knocking on your door, ski-boy.
I guess I must be the only one here who thinks it is wrong for that fuckface cop to to have shot that cougar? Was the SPCA/Animal Control not called in for this? If they weren't, why not? The animal should have been tranquilised and moved to an alternative location because the cougar was only doing what nature has intended it to do: protect its territory and (possibly, in this case) feed itself. The dog was incredibly brave, though, and definitely deserves everything its owners bestow upon it. EDIT: I'm not trying to sound like a bleeding heart liberal, just trying to say that the cougar's death was unnecessary. Now, if the SPCA *had* been called and they were too slow/lazy to show up, that's an entirely different ball of yarn...
Are you serious? The entire family just cowered inside and called the cops while listening to the family dog getting mauled by a mountain lion? Now, I'm no John Rambo, but it seems to me the proper thing to do would be to... basically anything but hide inside. As a man, make sure your family is safe, then maybe yell and shake a stick or something. I mean, I've got no clue, but it just seems wrong, you know?