I really would like to see this women, she could have the "worlds lowest self esteem" tattooed on her lower back and I wouldn't be surprised. This think is totally ridiculous, my wife gets fifty GBD's for unexpected anal! I mean c'mon is this guy a tyrant or what?
The problem I see with this contract is that it is just so... uncreative. "Shave! Something about underpants! I want anal!" What a boring cunt. It sounds like he has mental health issues. Mine wouldn't be particularly interesting either - the only sex thing would be something creepy about being able to fuck my wife while she is asleep. The remaining clauses would discuss how, if we have a son, he will be permitted to compete in contact sports if he so desires and can get a motorbike if he deserves one. Too many bitches want to raise emasculated young men. Apart from that, I don't see the point in including anything else. I just really, really hope that I am smart enough to select a woman with good judgment.
Contract? I've got your contract. It's called contract on demand. It's only 30 inches long but I whip it off my waist and swing for the fence with the ferocity of Babe Ruth on roids'.
Married 12 years, come the 25th and the only thing Mrs. Noland ever really refused to do was swear to "obey" at the ceremony. Weird.