Eh, I don't have much to confess that isn't disgusting (like I am frequently the bitch who clogs or overflows the toilet and gets the fuck out ASAP), boring or just sad. There are some things in my life that are along the lines of "eyebrow raising" that shock most people, but I don't think they're technically confessions. Sorry, Dixie. That's why this TiBette isn't contributing.
I'm terrified of simple life forms. Worms, slugs... JFC. I broke into a house once, vice president at the local bank lived there. I walked in on his wife screwing another guy, and shot both of them dead. They ended up pinning the whole thing on the banker.
When I was 12 my friend and I stole hundreds of dollars from his parents over the course of a few months.Eventually they found out and I apologized profusely while returning a couple wrinkled $100 bills. I still had $1800 stashed at home. I was an evil little shit. Actually, you know what? Having read the responses to this thread I don't even feel bad. What is it with you people pissing and shitting everywhere? I've been struggling to keep the vomit down ever since I got to the 2nd half of the first page. Go live in the woods or something.
Despite having had sex for the first time almost exactly a decade ago, I've never actually let a guy finish inside me sans condom. Finally got an IUD on Thursday, though, so as of Thanksgiving Day, I will be oops-baby proof and boyfriend can do whatever he wants with me.
You don't need to conceal the fact that you are masturbating at work. Work being the park where you walk the dogs. In high school senior year my friends and I had a booze fueled campout in the woods next to a golf course. My friend's girlfriend brought her smoking hot friend who was, for reasons beyond me at the time, really into me. As chickenshit as I was at the time I bitched out of making a move when she told me almost flat out she wanted my dick in her mouth. Eventually another one of my friends moved in to make a move and walked off with her. I got frustrated and upset and suggested having a boxing match with my friend who had his girlfriend with him. We started boxing but his girlfriend broke it up rather quickly and she and her girlfriend promptly left. In a pure high school girl cry for attention moment I started sobbing uncontrollably and blamed it on the fact that my dad was dying of cancer at the time. I cried for a solid hour as my friends tried to console me. I had really just been upset that I was bitchmade and couldn't make a move on a very hot girl. It was a fucked up time in my life. Ive never told anyone that.
I'm in the middle of a 1/3 life crisis, to a degree. Everything I thought I wanted, I'm pretty sour on right now. I have no clue what I ACTUALLY want, and the desperate attempt to avoid that massive question has me spending money and moving provinces and stopping all relationships with men. I have to decide ASAP if I want kids, because the clock has struck, and I can't even answer that with any degree of certainty. Making that particular question worse is the ethical dilemma of, "Is it okay to deliberately have a child with no father present?" Because ya, you can make it work without a dad, but it's at the kids' expense. I'm fighting my typical urge to come up with some grand goal and work towards executing it without first knowing what the fuck I want.
Another anonymous confession: You can send anonymous confessions to chrsdvdsn9@gmail.com - if you use a dummy account, I won't even know who you are. Keep 'em coming.
Up until a year ago, I thought narwhals were fictional creatures. I never get which one is Spike Lee and which one is Spike Jonze right on the first try. I once had to ask someone if "at the bottom of your belly button is a hole that goes right into your body" and when they started laughing at me I yelled "a very small one!!!!!!" in protest. I have a BFA in writing from a very good school but I don't know how to spell vaccuum. I once tripped over a homeless man I didn't see because I was texting and I didn't stop to see if he was okay. I once went to a party that a kind-of friend from college was throwing a few years after we graduated and when I got there he didn't really remember me and pronounced my name the Italian way and it turned out I didn't know anyone else at the party so I just let them all believe I was some glamorous Italian chick visiting New York "on assignment" (I never specified for what) and spoke in a terrible accent the whole night and everyone seemed to buy it. At the time this seemed less awkward/preferable to acknowledging the fact that he didn't really want me to be there, he just invited everyone on his Facebook friends list. More than once I've walked back into the room to find my cat eating my dinner and decided to just keep eating it because what am I supposed to just go hungry? I once accidentally stole a sex toy from my dad but I legitimately thought it was a shoulder massager.
I kind of know this feeling. I once pissed all over a dude passed out in the bushes because I was 19 and an asshole. It turned out to be a friend of mine. He showed up at my house the next day smelling unpleasant and bitching that "Some asshole pissed all over me last night. I'm going to fucking kill him." Yeah, that sucks dude. Don't sit on my furniture, in fact lets just go outside. 30 years later, we're still friends and he has no idea.