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Come on baby, churn my butter!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by scotchcrotch, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    Pederasses come and go, but how often do you hear about an Amish pedophile?

    <a class="postlink" href="http://technolog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/06/21/6909615-amish-sexter-busted-for-buggy-sex-invite-to-girl-12?chromedomain=digitallife" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://technolog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/20 ... igitallife</a>

    The pic really sells it-



    Sex crimes aren't funny, unless they involve an idiot with a bowl cut trying to fuck a minor on a buggy.

    FOCUS: Quality wood furniture and flameless fireplaces
     

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  2. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    We need support groups to get guys like this laid before they become so screwed up that they try shit like this. In buggies.

    FOCUS: There's an especially nice table down at Old Sturbridge Village that I'd love to make a copy of.
     
  3. Pinkcup

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    I know this is the wrong thing to say, but...he's not horrible-looking. If I didn't have a sneaking suspicion that he'd be turned off by my rack, I'd think about hitting it. Actually, the chance to fuck an Amish dude in his buggy shouldn't be passed up. I'd do it.

    Focus: I wouldn't buy any of the furniture, but I'm all over their pies & jellies. Delicious.
     
  4. NotaPharmacist

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    This is anecdotal, yeah, but it's really not going to help combat their anti-technology screeds at all.

    "But I look like a member of the Monkees. What other option did I have?"
    "Prayer."

    Way to set the normalizing back another couple centuries, Mr. "Couldn't Yoke Myself".
     
  5. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    ANTI-FOCUS: Fucked up Amish folk

    Have any of y'all seen Devil's Playground? It's a documentary about Amish kids on rumspringa, when they get a chance to experience electricity, zippers, recorded music, nuts and bolts (the Amish do not use nuts and/or bolts when building their barns), and modern medical care, amongst other evil inventions of the English. Also, it chronicles the shenanigans that they get into. Most of the kids they interviewed were on meth, by the way. They had interviews with Amish elders in the beginning of the documentary, and they explained that they liked to keep their problems within the community, so there is probably a lot that we outsiders will never hear about. But they did mention that some of the problems they deal with are sex crimes and drug problems.
    Do any of you remember drunkasaurusrex.com, aka Nils Parker's Rudius Media website? Well, there was an article that he had called "Beating a dead horse," where he discussed the moral issues of bestiality and necrophilia. A guy wrote in on the comments section about when he was a court clerk working in central Pennsylvania, and one day a case came up in his court involving an Amish kid, and the charge was bestiality/necrophilia with an animal. Apparently the kid had a habit of fucking one of his family's horses, and got busted by his parents on more than one occassion. They told him that if he ever did it again, they were going to press charges.
    So he fucked it again anyway, and I don't know if the horse died during the act, or if it died before and the kid didn't want to waste a warm body, but he was caught fucking the corpse.
    I don't remember what they said happened to the kid; if anyone knows where all of those old Rudius Media writings went, please let me know, because I thoroughly enjoyed most of them.

    EDIT: Just found the blog, here it is: Scroll down to the comments for what I described.
     
  6. Stealth

    Stealth
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    Personally, I think that if the culture and religion of some of the more "extreme" muslim countries made it easier for their males to get laid outside of marriage, the world would be a safer place.
     
  7. dubyu tee eff

    dubyu tee eff
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    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

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    I'm not really sure what is going on here but check this out: <a class="postlink" href="http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/21/lost-actor-marries-16-year-old-girlfriend/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/21 ... irlfriend/</a>

    Pretty gross.
     
  8. gogators

    gogators
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    I live amongst Mennonites and what bandit says is true. They keep all of their stuff internal.

    Since I've been in this house, we've had a peeping tom problem, child molestation rumors, spousal abuse rumors... all kinds of shit, not including the inbreeding. I have never once seen or heard of a deputy investigating any of these things. And, I have never known of any punishment that was handed down other than a "stern talking to".

    Sadly, the peeping tom never visited my house. I had a few rounds of 00 buckshot waiting on him.

    Had I known then, what I know now, I'd have never moved into this place. Those people are sick.
     
  9. Frebis

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    My Mom was a social worker for Children Services for 35 years and we had some Amish in the community. She told us they were just as fucked up as normal society. They had to take kids from several Amish families for child abuse. They also had an abnormally high rate of alcoholism. But then again I would too if I didn't have a TV.

    I read a book about it called Rumpsringa. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.amazon.com/Rumspringa-Be-Not-Amish/dp/086547687X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1308745583&sr=8-1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.amazon.com/Rumspringa-Be-Not ... 583&sr=8-1</a>

    If you want a look into how fucked up they are it sounds similar to the documentary mentioned above.
     
  10. Kubla Kahn

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    I just watched the two Amish shows on TLC about Rumspringa and Weddings. Girls can be low key hot in their Little House on the Prairie get up. Too bad theyre all inbreds. My mom's boyfriend employs them to do all his house work in rural Indiana because he's an old college professor hippy type and likes to keep it local and expensive. I was only over at his place once when they had someone English drive them up so they could do some work. I love how religions get around their own nuttyness by employing us sinners.
     
  11. Guy Fawkes

    Guy Fawkes
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    I get turned on by barn raising bees or whatever the fuck they call them.

    Who can blame this guy, I mean if a calico dress isn't a super enhanced aphrodisiac I don't know what it.

    "Don't be so coy Gertrude. Take your bonnet off slowly... mmmmm"
     
  12. Racer-X

    Racer-X
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    Focus: What ever happened to the New Yankee Workshop? Norm Abram is still alive and doing This Old House so why isn't he still using every woodworking tool known to man and reminding me to wear safety glasses?
     
  13. lust4life

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    Young Willard just wanted to google her X-box. Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
     
  14. lhprop1

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    Tell me that watching an old fashioned barn raising wouldn't be cool as hell to watch. Hell, I'd pay them $50 to let me join in.

    Maybe I'm just a bit different, but building shit is fun. Doing it the old way and not being being able to use power tools to raise a whole damn barn would be awesome.
     
  15. MoreCowbell

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    "Wanna get buggered in my buggy?" is probably one hell of a pickup line.
     
  16. roy jones

    roy jones
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    According to my dad, he accomplished this feat years ago.

    I'm going to a bachelor party this weekend with him. There may be enough beer there to give me the courage to ask for details.

    FOCUS: I'm smack dab in the middle of our Amish population here. The furniture is good, and it's funny to see the teenagers driving around blasting music from their buggies.

    And the Amish looooooooove Wal Mart.

    We have a local indoor playground (like the one pictured below) that has laser tag, go-karts, etc. There is a big screen television there and it is filled every weekend with 20-30 Amish kids from the time the place opens to the time it closes. The fuckers don't move. They buy a drink upon entering, and sit there in silence the entire time. It's freaky.
     

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  17. ghettoastronaut

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    I've heard rumours that the mennonite population that lives around London, ON (well, specifically them, but others do it as well) will get men from outside the community to, er, inseminate their daughters to reduce the inbreeding. I asked a guy who was from a small town of the area, and he said it was true, although he wouldn't put his dick near one of them (something about Amish beards and the carpet matching the drapes).
     
  18. toejam

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    I call shenanigans on any of you ladies that say you wouldn't hop in a buggy with these two:

    [​IMG]

    It's 4:30, time for milking!

    There's a large ultra-orthodox Jewish community in my area, and honestly, as a Hebrew, I think those guys are way crazier than Mennonites with their coats and hats and beards. At least the Mennonites at a farmers' market nearby make seriously good molasses cookies. Like, I'm not even noticing the hats and beards good, cookies. What do the Jews have to offer, chopped liver? No thanks.