C'mon over, we're gonna play some Metallica Monopoly!

Metallica Monopoly comes out next week. It joins a list of other themed Monopoly games including KISS, The Rolling Stones, and the Beatles.

Focus, in multiple parts: A) What's your favorite board game? B) What's your favorite band sell-out? C) What themed game would you like to see made?


Personally, I want to see a hair-band themed Candyland game, except it's all drug related. Fun times.

 

I don't know if this broad focus will work or not, but we'll give it a shot.

A) What's your favorite board game?

Don't much care for board games in general. For me, Monopoly will always be the prototypical board game like Cheerios is the prototypical breakfast cereal. But after playing Monopoly as an adult and realizing that nothing in the rules promotes any kind of balance or prevents any collusion, I realized that Monopoly is basically Survivor with dice.

I guess if I had to pick, my favorite would be Scrabble. If you are not familiar with the weird, high-intensity world of competitive Scrabble, you really should read Stefan Fatsis' Word Freak, or at least watch Word Wars.

B) What's your favorite band sell-out?

Dave Matthews playing Jessica Colburn's bat mitzvah. Well after he was very, very famous.

C) What themed game would you like to see made?

I'll go with a Sex-Pistols-themed version of Clue (Cluedo for all you furriners). It would be a little easier than the standard version because it's always the same outcome: Sid did it with the knife in the hotel room.

 

I'll tell you what, this doesn't have shit on NFL Monopoly from the 1990s. "AW YEAH, LANDED ON RICK MIRER! Now I have Mirer, Mark Brunell, AND Drew Bledsoe."

 

A. Scrabble. sweameo.
B. The margaritaville empire. Restaurants, beer, tequila, and a resort under construction. All from a 70s pop song.
C. "Rock n Roll Life". Instead of a family, you have a band. "Your drummer chokes on his own vomit and dies. Go back 6 spaces."

 

A friend and I once put together a Pornopoly board, complete with clever shit like Free Parking On My Face, and Oriental Massage House Ave. Oh yeah, can't forget the Community Breast cards. Just a pile of terrible boob jokes on 3x5 cards.

I'd love to see a professional version of it.

 

I suck at Chess but I kick ass in Stratego.

<a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stratego" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stratego</a>

 

A)Scotland Yard - Easily my favorite board game, and I still have it and will not hesitate to break it out if I have 4 or 5 people over.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland_Yard_(board_game)

 

Settlers of Catan is a ton of fun, though it can cause a shit ton of hurt feelings as diplomacy is such a huge factor.

<a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Settlers_of_Catan" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Settlers_of_Catan</a>

 

Oh man, this thread made me pee a little. I love board games way more than is safe or reasonable.

I'm also irrationally competitive. I can't stand losing at anything in life, and unfortunately board games do not by-pass that mentality.

Apples to Apples is by far my favorite, because frankly - the drunker you get, the better you are.

Scrabble and Monopoly come a close second, but I stopped playing Scrabble after I finally beat my husband about a year ago. I could never beat that mother fucker, so when I did, I just started refusing to play again. I need to desperately cling to my one and only victory.

 

My boys are both Life fanatics. Last night my 6 year old, for the third time in a row, beat me at this game. Yeah, it's pretty much a game of dumb luck, but when someone 32 years your junior beats you at the game it's pretty humiliating.

 

As a kid I used to revel in being the king of board games. Over the course of my childhood, I found foolproof strategies for winning in the following games:

- Connect Four
- Clue
- Monopoly
- Battleship
- And other lesser known games (and dominant but not foolproof strategies for games like Scrabble)

I had a 100% win streak with all of these games, and I distinctly remember in 5th grade ruining Connect Four for my entire class because I was the class champion for several weeks running.

 

I've always loved Risk. Chess is great but I'm not even close to being even decent at it. I can see maybe two moves ahead and that's it. Still fun when I'm playing people at a similar level. I love group games like Apples to Apples, card games like Five Crowns and Quiddler. Getting older is strange as I have more fun on nights when groups of friends get together for some good food, good drinks and good games. We play another card game a lot called Guillotine. A few of those games with 6-10 people and a bunch of bottles of wine is more fun to me now than a crazy night at bars and clubs.

I have trouble with labeling a band a sellout. Tool puts it best in Hooker With a Penis, "All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck. I sold out long before you ever even heard my name." As for bands like Metallica, they're like most bands that have been together for so long, they evolved and probably wanted to just do something different. I agree that everything after the Black Album is sub par. This picture is kind of funny as well even though it is obviously photoshopped.



I think Kiss was a "sell out" marketing ploy from the get go. Their music has never been the greatest. It's good, but nothing to warrant the massive success. Their gimmick was what people cared about. Similar to the Grateful Dead. Take away the makeup and nobody cares, ala the mid-80's. Put it back on and they sell out arenas. Take away the drug culture and atmosphere and nobody would have cared about the Dead. Their music is not good. Phish at least has much better music.


I can't think of a new idea for a game, but I love the idea above about a Candyland game with drugs and rock and roll themed. Incorporate all the musicians who died early due to drugs and alcohol. It could be really sad and depressing. Would be hilarious.

 

a) Trivial Pursuit. The one and only. The best thing about it is that my friends have literally never beat me at the game, which is one of very few things I can dangle over their heads.

b) She "lived in her van" in Alaska. She had her little acoustic songs, her little shitty book of poseur poetry, and everyone thought she was the new princess of simple, indie folk music. Then, album sales dropped a little for her and she eventually stooped to this:

Spoiler

...SNAKE EYES. Oh please, the only reason people paid attention to you was because you had tits and you KNEW it.

c) Menudo Monopoly. First in line when the store opens, bitches.

 

Scrabble and Chess for competitiveness. Apples to Apples/Taboo for parties.

For the first two, people always ask me, "are you any good? You can't beat me, I'm the best!" Which is hard to answer, because there's really two kinds of good players when it comes to those games: serious amateur level and people who just like to play. If you've ever played in a Scrabble tournament, you'd probably beat me handily. If you haven't, you likely won't.

As for chess, if you play a couple times a year, you probably won't beat me. If you came in 12th at Nationals when you were 16, you likely will.

That tangent primarily because most people have no idea how good they are at those two games. Just like they have no idea how spicy something is.

 

Monopoly and Scrabble up in this bitch. Chess is fun but nobody wants to play chess with you anymore. You have to go to the park where all the lonely old men and perverts go and they're not even that good. Err, good at chess, not good at the sex because the old pervert sex is amazing. People will play the shit out of some Monopoly though. Same with Scrabble because they think they're really good. But then they resort to googling everything anyway.

My all time favorite band merchandise item:



Words cannot describe how awesome this is on so many levels. One, the band made a FUCKING CASKET. Second, I can only imagine the ultimate mullet head redneck proud to be buried in one of these things, let alone shell out 6k for it. This takes selling out to an entirely different level. Donald Trump is an amateur compared to these guys. Kiss was always better at selling themselves than writing good songs. There is something fantastic about selling your own brand of gaudy coffin. I truly think they crossed a line the world will never see returned. Next is their own burger franchise. Note: Dimebag Darrell was buried in one.

Now, how does the Metallica Monopoly work. Instead of jail I go to rehab? Pick up a Chance card saying "Bus flips over on your bassist, pay each player $50."?

 

One of the corner spaces is "Go Directly to Napster" and one Chance cards reads "Lights explode and melt singer's arm. Get Roadie to play guitar for rest of tour, collect $50." Aloso, "Trade bass players with Ozzy."

 

Fuck Kiss and in particular fuck Gene Simmons, quite possibly the most arrogant prick on the planet.
I hope he chokes on his Jew, lizard tongue.

I've seem youtube clips of Gene Simmons refusing to sign his autograph for Australian fans that have flown over to the US because he thought they would go and sell his autograph or autographed items on ebay.

 

Man, this really depresses me. I used to really admire Metallica, and for a long time (like my first 3 years of highschool, and a phase in college) Metallica was the only music I would listen to. I could have repeated their lyrics by heart back then, and I probably still can with some songs.
Anyway, I already have classic Monopoly that was purchased in the '80s, and someone gave my son Nintendo Monopoly here not too long ago, so I really don't have any reason to buy it.

Focus A: Chess, Monopoly, Scrabble.
Focus B: Aerosmith. (My favorite sell-out band, not my favorite band. That title is currently held by someone else.) I discovered them in the early '90s, but these days I only listen to their stuff from the '70s, when they were on coke.
Focus C: Like everyone else said, a drug version of Candyland would be pretty cool.