Cinematical Do-Overs!

Anything and everything is getting re-made in Hollywood these days. I noted in the Drunk Thread that they have done a remake of Arthur (the Dudley Moore comedy) with Russell Brand, and he's also set up to do a remake of Drop Dead Fred, which makes no sense to me whatsoever.

If it's not being remade, then it's being rebooted. Spider-Man with Tobey Maguire came out in 2002, and they're already rebooting the series less than 10 years later.

FOCUS: What movie or movies do you think should be remade? Which ones should be rebooted? What would your take on the remake be? Who would you get to play in what roles, or how would you update the plot or the setting?

 

If there is one movie I would personally remake, it's Peter Bogdonovich's Targets. Regardless it's an awesome film and probably Boris Karloff's best performance. The unforgettable Drive-In movie climax when the killer starts picking people off in their cars is sweat inducing to say the least but could be made even better. I would cast Robert Englund in the Karloff role, since he's our generation's "veteran monster guy".

 

I started a thread in the pop culture forum about the Farelly Bros. making a 3 Stooges movie (actually, three 27 minute "shorts") and some of the actors approached, opted in, then out etc. (Russell Crowe as Moe and Sean Penn as Larry?) Did "The Little Rascals" teach us nothing?

I was watching JJ Abram's "Star Trek" the other day and thought how I would like to see a Star Trek movie(s) that really goes back to the very beginning of how Star Fleet came about, the creation of warp drive and intergalactic travel, encountering the Vulcans (that part of "First Contact" was weak) and how the Federation all got started as well as the war with the Klingons.

I also think it's time to update "Deepthroat."

 

Not that I think they would do it any better than the original, but I'm honestly shocked they haven't done a remake of The Sting, it just seems so obvious.

I'd also really like to see a WELL DONE remake of The Punisher, the story has so much potential, but they never really take advantage of it.

Lastly, I think Robocop could use a reboot if handled correctly. With modern CGI it could be great.

Oh, and if you're one of those "leave it alone" people, then throw out all your Pachino Scarface posters

 

Over the last decade or so Hollywood has been toying with the idea of making another Fletch. Personally I'm torn. If it was done correctly, and with an actor that actually understood how to play Fletch, it would be cock and balls.
But, I'm highly doubtful that this could be accomplished.
The list of actors that have been bandied about makes me think that they have no idea what they are doing, and even though I like Jason Lee, and Joshua Jackson is good on Fringe, and Zach Braff turns in some good performances....... I'm left with an overwhelming sense of...... "That's not gonna fucking work"
And don't tell me that Chase should be Fletch, because that ship sailed long ago.
Kevin Smith was even handed the keys to it a while back, and I'm a big Smith fan. But really? The fucking Clerks guy is gonna make the new Fletch? Could you imagine what Kevin would do to Arnold T. Pants? I'd be afraid that it would turn into some sort of movie where Fletch runs around a mall all day, or tries to flip a lesbian.....

It all makes me think that the executives in Hollywood don't have a fucking clue, and would only fuck it up.

I mean for fucks sake I couldn't even come up with an actor that could properly play Dr. Rosen Rosen. Then a couple weeks ago it hit me like a two ton heavy thing (I have no idea why I just threw in a Queensryche reference here)
This fucking guy should play Fletch, he's perfect for the role.

Spoiler

 

I don't know that the Batman reboot will necessarily happen any time soon. The reason they want to reboot Batman is because they want to make a Justice League movie, and the current Nolan version of Batman doesn't fit with the Justice League. For a Justice League movie to happen, they'd also have to see the new Zack Snyder Superman movie work, Green Lantern has to work, and they still have to look at movies for the Flash, Wonder Woman, and whatever other members they want to put in there (Green Arrow? The Atom? Hawkman? Martian Manhunter?) Basically, unlike Marvel did with the Avengers, which has been planned out for years and has been well executed (pending Thor and Captain America not bombing), DC just wants to get to a Justice League movie ASAP, but if they rush it, it is going to bomb hard. I think Nolan is smart enough to know that, and (if he has enough pull) before he helps them reboot Batman, he'll make sure they're on the right track which will take some time.

As for remakes, they're inevitable, but there are two series of logic to them: remake good movies or remake shitty movies. If you remake a good movie, people get pissed and say you should just go watch the original. If they remake shitty movies, people say "it didn't work the first time, why would it work the second time!?" Either way, people will bitch and moan.

I fully expect an updated version of The Breakfast Club by 2020. Speaking of John Hughes movies, I could also easily see Home Alone getting the remake treatment. The Star Trek series of films will keep on going pretty much forever, with a new one every few years. They'll reboot Star Trek: TNG once they feel that the rebooted original Star Trek has run its course.

Movies they shouldn't remake: Casino, Goodfellas, The Godfather Trilogy. I honestly think those flicks are pretty untouchable, and they hold up really well.

 

I've never actually seen Fletch, but I've actually heard a bunch of interviews connecting Joel McHale to it. Apparently that would be a good casting. Take that for what it's worth, which is surely very little.

 

The Matrix part 3, reloaded or booted or what ever.

Spoilered for length

Spoiler

I'd even keep the same actors because I don't really have too many problems with the 2nd one if the third one hadn't sucked.

What I would do is get rid of all of the crap in the 3rd one by making the following changes.

When Neo passes out at the end of part 2, it is because he just woke up in the real world.

He learns quickly that the matrix was the primary level of the simulation software and that Zion was the backup level so that people who couldn't accept the matrix would have a second chance to be useful.

He also learns that he engineered the whole system because the AI isn't really an AI. It is a gestalt entity built from the minds of every person in the system.

Every Person in the system that Agent smith is busy consuming in an attempt to work his/its way up into the higher functions of the AI.

Neo of course learns this, plugs himself back into the matrix, wakes up in Zion on board the ship thing with Agent smith on board.

They then have a brutally violent kung-fu like fight that quickly becomes an Akira type mess as they both discover that while there are checks and balances against this kind of behavior in the matrix the zion simulation was never built to account for what Neo or a virus like Smith could do.

Once Smith is defeated. There would be exposition, of course, where Neo reveals the truth.

Neo then redirects the AI squid bot things as he redefines the purposes of the machines to be supportive rather then combative.

Neo then goes into the matrix with his teammates, Trinity, Morpheus, Will Smith's wife, etc.

They are confronted by a desolated war zone, the AIs in the matrix (who are AIs) are fighting smith, and trying to protect the remaining uninfected humans. (because the're loyal to the gestalt entity that created them, and because smith will consume or delete them given the chance)

Neo and his team (who now understanding are as capable as Neo was after his first enlightenment) engage smith directly.

This battle goes on for hours, if not days. As the Gestalt entity is fighting against smith too making it so that its champions don't get tired or need food or stay injured. We see trinity, and the others, die a couple of times only to be resurrected like the Agents used to take over bodies in the first film.

There is a point however that smith realizes that his defeat is inevitable.

Smith recombines his many distinct facets, leaving behind his host bodies, and engages Neo and team directly.

Trinity dies, because of how bad her death speech was in the last version of part 3, when super smith turns her into a string of zeros.

Neo and smith fight, but instead of the stylized kung-fu that was occurring before. More in a brutally reckless attempt to cause as much damage to one another as possible.

And Neo isn't winning.

But then the bodies of the people that were inhabited/taken over by smith start waking up.

And the gestalt mind that had been forced down to a few thousand (hundred) minds rebuilds itself.

And as it does Neo grows stronger, or smith weakens.

And Neo wins, rips off smiths head shits down his neck ect.

Then there is that epilogue.

The Matrix reforms, people start living life (even simulated)

In Zion sim the world gets better and cleaner.

And in the real world Neo and his remaining team are awake. Trying to decide how to repopulate earth with the people who want to leave the simulation.

 

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.dailyblam.com/news/2011/03/21/jose-padilha-confirms-hell-direct-robocop-reboot" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.dailyblam.com/news/2011/03/2 ... cop-reboot</a>

Get high hopes for this one. No one's heard of this brazilian director-guy in the U.S... yet. But he did direct Elite Squad 2, Brazil's best selling movie of all time, which also happens to be universally critically praised (by anyone whose seen it... not available here yet). Guy sounds like he is committed to his work and won't take shit from any of the wrong people. Could be great.

 

I like McHale, and think he's funny... But it just doesn't fit right. And I'm not saying that certain actors can't pull it off, or attacking their acting chops, but the movie Fletch is way to important to society to haphazardly hand it out to whoevers "hot in hollywood right now"
People in the movie business need to tread very fucking lightly, or not tread at all. This is serious business. It was bad enough that Fletch Lives was half as good as the original, we don't want Fletch Forever handed over willy nilly to some burgeoning hack screenwriter, or have Fletch be played by a guy named Hubert Q. Shitflowers straight out of graduating at the lower end of his acting troupe in Pittsnoggle Arkansas.


I don't believe that many actors could pull it off, but I think Mark Duplass who plays "Pete" from The League could do it. Plus, I've got a sneaking suspicion that he already knows everything nowadays is ball bearings.

 

The only "reboot" of recent years that I've enjoyed was Star Trek. It brought an aging series back to relevance and told a story in that universe that hadn't been told yet, all while being a pretty good, entertaining movie.

And this is my least favorite.


This disappoints me like no other.

I'm really getting sick of movies that don't come from original sources. Yes, I understand there's plenty of great, classic movies that are based off of books and the like, but it's becoming really difficult to find good movies that aren't based off of something, and I personally think that's a problem with the industry. Everything is sequels and reboots and remakes, it's tiresome.

 

It hasn't even been released; however based off the trailer I hope someone remakes Atlas Shrugged so I can forget the inevitably awful one about to come out.

 

That looks like the most worthless pice of shit in the last 15 years, in TWO PARTS no less. If it gets a single good review from anybody I will probably have a heart attack.

 

So it's just like the book?


Not a remake, but I'd like the Blade Runner Final Cut without the stupid superfluous unicorn dream scene Scott spliced in because he decided that the best messages of the movie was superfluous.

 

I was actually thinking about this on my way to work this morning, and I'm glad of the chance to share.

I would remake the Star Wars Prequels. Yup.

The casting and general (VERY general) storyline were perfectly fine. Sith guy vies for power by orchestrating galactic war and killing Jedi, while young and powerful Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Easy. Now here's what I would change, and I truly believe it would make a better story, not that the prequels are hard to improve upon or anything.

Episode I: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are sent to investigate the situation with the blockade. Rather than some bullshit trade dispute, the blockade is the first military action by the Separatist systems against what they consider to be a stifling and overpowered Republic. The pair never meets Jar-Jar, and extracts the Queen so that she can bring public attention to her planet's problem. While she goes and does her Senate thing, Obi-Wan ducks out for a drink or a debriefing or something along those lines, and we meet-

Anakin Skywalker, 25, pilot in the Republic military, Obi-Wan's buddy. Has amazing Force potential but was overlooked by the Jedi because of their (quite correct) analysis that he had too many emotional control problems and is too old to begin proper training. We learn that Obi-Wan, rather than take an approved apprentice, has been secretly teaching Anakin how to use the Force and whatnot. (As Obi-Wan in the original trilogy mentioned that he thought he could train Anakin as well as Yoda had taught him.) Anakin shows technical aptitude, but struggles with the passive and emotionless meditative state required to perform any Force tasks. We see that if there was an easier way, he would take it.

Anakin is married to his school sweetheart and she is three months pregnant, with twins. Which he doesn't know, because she has been planning to leave him as a result of his emotional outbursts and military aspirations.

We get to experience Anakin's training and relationship with Obi-Wan, rather than an hour of boring and ultimately meaningless political intrigue. Palpatine makes his appearance as a charismatic and clever politician, who seemed to appear out of nowhere a few years back and has been a public favorite ever since. He seems to be on the fast track to Chancellor, and his impassioned speech spurs the Republic to intervene at Naboo.

An attempt is made on the Queen's life, in order to generate further anger towards the Separatists, by Palpatine's Sith apprentice, Darth Qui-Gon, who has become disillusioned with the Jedi Order, explaining his disregard for rules and unusual attitude towards the Force as shown in the real Episode I. Rather than a mindless mishmash of lightsabers and architecture, the climax of this film is a one-on-one battle between master and apprentice in like Obi-Wan's apartment, or a Jedi gym or something. Obi-Wan is just about to lose when Anakin shows up, snatches up a spare lightsaber, and defeats Qui-Gon, not through any special skill but rather the power of hatred and anger towards a guy who would hurt his friend. This references the wild swings and screams of Luke Skywalker at the end of Jedi, where all the skill and training in the world were no match for a Jedi who's really fucking pissed.

The film ends with the Jedi in disbelief and paranoia after Qui-Gon's surprise betrayal, the Republic preparing to muster a military intervention on Naboo, and Anakin beginning to understand that there is, in fact, an easier path to power. Meanwhile, the optimistic and somewhat naive Obi-Wan feels that he's done a bang-up job training his friend, because hey, he defeated a bad guy! I must be doing something right!

The stage is set for a lot of people to make a lot of serious mistakes.

I was going to jot down my ideas for the second and third installments too, but this post is already long enough and I don't know how many Star Wars fanatics are on here anyway.

If an incredibly well-received movie can get a reboot, why can't a shitty one?

 

Can I throw an anti-focus in?

I would rather see Hollywood come up with fresh ideas instead of re-making/rebooting a movie that was more than likely shitty in the first place.

There are a number of remakes that come to mind in this category. To me, it follows a rule similar to: shit in, shit out.

This is a pretty good list of good movies that should have never been remade: http://guyism.com/lifestyle/movies-that-should-never-should-have-been-remade.html

Sorry for the rant, we now return you to your regularly scheduled focus:

I think it would be kind of cool to see a reboot of the Die Hard series. I would envision this as a big city cop has to deal with terrorists much in the same fashion as the original Die Hard, only this time, have John McClane come in working for the NSA or FBI or the like to save the day. The sequel could have the new character work for the NSA/FBI under McClane and the two of them go blow shit up.

 

Nah, they would suck all manner of arse just like DH4 did. Hollywood would be more concerned with CGI cockery and keeping it “kiddy safe” than character development, scripting and keeping the pacing tight.

Fuck Hollywood remakes and fuck this thread.