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CHRISTMAS & NEW YEARS DRUNK THREAD 2009 (NSFW)

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Nettdata, Dec 23, 2009.

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  1. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Tis a boring fucking conversation.
     
  2. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Seriously, people! Pip pip!! We have 24 hours to go out with a little style*, and this thread has beat out Rain for entertainer of the year. Howver, it's kind of playing out like the Blue Jays and choking in the stretch. Has the magic of beastiality or chloroforming hookers been covered lately?

    *-when in doubt, post some Soft Core.
     
  3. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Gentleman, this strumpet is now engaging in a deceitful strategy to destroy our will to fight. Steel your resolve. She will break, and we will be richer for it. If you'll remember in Apocalypse Now, do you remember how jarring LCol Kilgore's statement "Someday this war's gonna end" was? He was saddened by the prospect; Martin Sheen thought he was wrong, and yet, he must have been right by definition: wars end, and we as an audience know that the Vietnam war did end. But, unlike Apocalypse Now, the ending of our current battle against dcc's ostentatious show of self-esteem is going to have a much happier ending.

    Atherosclerosis is an inflammatory process. Deposts of low density lipoprotein on the vascular wall are recognized by macrophages, which mount an immune response and engulf the LDL. When the LDL reaches a certain level inside the macrophages, they turn into foam cells. One then sees the adherence of platelets to the vascular wall surface and over-growth of smooth muscle underlying the blood vessel, resulting in a constricted artery. Further damage causes the lumen to close completely.

    EDIT: Crown Royal, do you know what would be an awesome way to close out the decade? Dcc's tits, that's what.

    In the meantime, some soft-core pornography:
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Thank you, Captain Speak n' Spell. Are you lecturing at Brown this week after the harpsicord recital? I hope your gameskeeper didn't overfeed the peacocks again.

    Do you always talk like that? Do people try to hit you a lot?
     
  5. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    Absentee Mod

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    Hey. You leave him alone! He's a paleontologist! He's been to the moon and shit and had space wars with those fucking bastard Russian Cosmotologists just to insure Cohaggan doesn't steal all of our air!
     
  6. thatone

    thatone
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    [​IMG]
     
  7. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    No, but I did listen to a few Bertrand Russell interviews yesterday.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    Yay, soft-core porn.
     
  8. Noland

    Noland
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    New Orleanians are not Cajun. Regardless of what you may have learned from Emeril, the differences between New Orleanians and Cajuns are so far apart that it's hard to put into words.

    To start, Cajuns were originally Canadians. From Nova Scotia. It just gets more complicated from there. It's complicated enough that it required an official apology from Queen Elizabeth II in 2003; 248 years after their deportation from the French colonies in Canada.

    As complex as the history of New Orleans is, Cajun history is more difficult. Cajuns and New Orleanians have next to nothing in common. As far as cuisine goes, basically it comes down to tomatoes.
     
  9. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    Yall don't listen to this. Everything you want to know about people from Louisiana can be learned from these two sources:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Its like both of them followed me around with a camera for months! I may sue for royalties!
     
  10. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    It's just like all of those damn Commie pinko spies trying to sneak over here and take pictures of our sun disguised as ducks.

    Oh boy do they get a surprise when they try to land in my pond.
     
  11. redbullgreygoose

    redbullgreygoose
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    Disturbed

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    I must be missing out on something, because I don't seem to have the fascination for tits as most other guys. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a nice pair like any other red blooded male. But I'm much more of an ass man.

    As M.I.M.S. puts it:

    "Palm on ya ass, that's if you let me touch
    I don't care about your breasts, you could be a A cup
    I know what I like and baby that's below the waist"
     
  12. Natty

    Natty
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    So you're saying that girl should post a picture of her ass instead of her tits? Love where your heads at.
     
  13. redbullgreygoose

    redbullgreygoose
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    Disturbed

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    edit:

    I don't give a shit either way. But yeah, was I not perfectly clear?
     
  14. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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    If I can touch them, they're real to me.


    Oh, and guys, stop being idiots about the titty-showing. You'll scare away what few female posters this place has managed to attract.
     
  15. Supertramp

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    Pimptress, for the record, I know I'm gorgeous.

    edit:
    I hate dating virgins.
     
  16. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    AND SO WE BEGIN ENDGAME

    A just a few hours away from a bottle of Canadian Club reserve, and going to a kick-ass party in a shitty town.

    It's the last day of the decade and we have work to do, but this thread has surpassed anything I could imagine. I can't wait to go back and read it from the start. The perfect way to swan song the Decade From Hell. TiB has proven it's worth, and I look forward to more.
     
  17. thevoice

    thevoice
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    Fuck me sideways.

    I am on day two of a MASSIVE hangover. Tuesday night, I covered the World Juniors and then went to a buddy's house for what was supposed to be a 'couple of drinks' and a pizza. A couple of drinks turned into double-shots of whiskey, 10 beers, and a drunken walk to 7-11 at 3 AM to get taquitos, and hot-dogs.

    All of us are in our mid 20's, and yet here we were walking 10 blocks in -25 degree weather, hiding beers in our jacket-pockets and drinking straight whiskey just to stay warm.

    Definitely one of my more classy moments.

    However the real highlight of this night occured when our female friend Kayla came over for a few drinks. She enlightened us on her recent sexual conqests, which included fucking one of her married co-workers who apparently has the biggest testicles that she's ever seen. She compared them to golf-balls.

    This story prompted a half-hour discussion about balls. I wish I was kidding, but seriously, we must have talked about 'ball-size' for the better part of half-an-hour. At the time it was fucking hilarious, and I was amazed at how candid Kayla was when it came to fallating the balls.

    The 'ball' conversation ended abruptly when my friend Brayden (drunkenly and out of the blue) asked Kayla if she'd give us a circle-jerk. She didn't know how to react, and we awkwardly switched the subject.

    Other topics discussed were:

    1) Which female cartoon character would you most want to fuck. (I chose Jessica Rabbit)
    2) The seediest town in Canada.
    3) Best drunken food.

    Finally at around 4:30 AM, I passed out on the couch while watching my friends play Call of Duty 2.

    I awoke to the sounds of my buddy's 3-year-old chasing the dog around the house. Combine that with the severe gut-rot that I got from my drunken eating, and my stomach and I are still in the midst of a heated dispute.

    Fuck you stomach. You're drinking fire-ball, Jager and bourbon tonight. Happy New Year Idiots!
     
  18. mimikuso

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    Should still be lurking

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    As mentioned earlier about bad boobs jobs, it all comes down to quality. In Japan they make them look and feel very real, as they do not add too much implant to make the breasts too hard and large.
     
  19. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I honestly do not get this reality show shit anymore. How many more shows can you make about fat people and midgets? Until they're legally allowed to start killing people on camera, count me out of this over-boiled bullshit. What's next "An Abusive Marriage Story"? I mean, they have to run out of ideas eventually, right?

    With that, what's on everyone's booze menu for this special evening?
     
  20. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I'm working both jobs today - just got in the office and the roads are shit (we're getting 1-2 inches of snow, unfortunately, it fell at the worst possible time, so the road crews haven't gotten to clear anything so I had to do 25 mph all the way in) - and I'll probably get in the kitchen tonight around 5. New Year's Eve is obviously very busy for the bar/restaurant industry, and they'll be three cooks (myself included) on tonight. I'll probably get cut around 10 or 11, depending on how busy, and then after that...right to the bar for:

    A beer and a shot.

    This is my standard order. And yes, I let the bartender pick. And surprisingly, it usually works out really well, as most bartenders try to come up with something good and don't try to screw you. So hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised.
     
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