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Caulk in the ass

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Maltob14, Mar 8, 2010.

  1. Maltob14

    Maltob14
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    http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/03/black-market_cosmetic_surgerie.html

    I can imagine it. Just sticking a caulking gun in each butt cheek and filling it up.

    Focus: Funny stories like this about people you know.

    Alt. Focus: How many of you have/would want plastic surgery?
     
  2. shegirl

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    I don't see how that would be much better than cottage cheese. I hope you guys know there are sane women out in the big bad world, not just stupidcrazies, stupidwhores and/or stupidbitches.
     
  3. Nettdata

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    Cottage cheese would go bad.

    I imagine this is more like the filling in a twinkie, and would last forever.
     
  4. Parker

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    Any time I see something like this, it reminds me of the dark dark college days where I would watch MTV True Life. There was that episode of that body building tool that got calf implants. To this fucking day, I cannot find a reason to justify that...
     
  5. Muney

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    Does trying to push the wife into getting a boob job count?
     
  6. Maltob14

    Maltob14
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    No thats expected. Good luck though.
     
  7. SnM

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    Focus: I will never get plastic surgery under normal* circumstances. If I need to make myself feel better about life and have that much money to blow, I'll go on a sweet vacation or... I dunno, buy a nice boat and jet skis. Surgery sucks.

    *by normal I mean, not a horrendous burn filled accident or something similar.
     
  8. Nitwit

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    From the bartending days:
    There was a cocktail waitress named Barbie. Long legs, curvy hips, nice tits and really big hair. She took a road trip to Mexico to pic up some contraband prescriptions. Worried about problems crossing back into the homeland, she stuck the bottle up her pussy and smuggled the pills in like a true mule. Somehow, she wound up getting wasted on the way home, blacking out and forgetting that she had stuck a bottle of pills up her pussy. Weeks later, it was the smell that finally sent her to the Dr. to have it removed. Worst of all, it turned out that her pills weren't even on the controlled substance list. She might as well have been smuggling aspirin.

    I heard this story second hand and have always wondered if it were even possible for a girl not to know. Same time, it was her friend that told me the story and she never struck me as creative enough to fabricate a story that outrageous.

    Edit:Does it have to be about cosmetic surgery? Well, she did give herself an implant; sort of.
     
  9. shegirl

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    Unless her furryfunhole was a gapping cavern I don't know how this is possible. A tampon is one thing but a pill bottle? You'd think the lid alone would be a somewhat painful issue.

    FOCUS: Not for me. I'm happy with everything. Sure sooner or later nature will take over but, the idea of defying that with scalpels and stitches isn't something I'd consider. I'd rather take a trip somewhere and pay the poolboy to love me. LOVE ME I SAY!
     
  10. bewildered

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    This. Well, except the part about the poolboy.

    There's always someone out there that's physically more beautiful than you are. I'm not so in love with myself that I feel like I have to improve my body through surgery. I work out, I eat right, and I don't self harm. I'm happy.

    And whatever happened to aging gracefully? Wrinkles are okay. Getting saggy happens. I see these older celebrities that are desperate to hold onto their youth. It's like sand through the fingers. Just let it trickle slowly.
     
  11. shegirl

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    KFM isn't here.
     
  12. Maltob14

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    They look like Vern Troyer. PROTEIN SHAKES.
     
  13. Rob4Broncos

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    I call shenanigans.
     
  14. Crown Royal

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    Calf implants? GTL, bro. GTL.
     
  15. dubyu tee eff

    dubyu tee eff
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    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

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    My sister is a Physician Assistant. She recently did a rotation in plastic surgery and boy did she tell me a good one.

    So this women wanted a bigger ass. She couldn't afford implants so she wanted to get silicone injections instead. This is exactly what it sounds like; they take silicone and pump your ass full of it. This procedure is banned in America because it is retarded. Since the woman is a genius, she decided to go to Mexico and have it done there since the plastic surgeons there will do anything for the right price. She has the procedure done and within a month starts having major complications.

    First thing that happens is that the silicone gradually hardens, making her ass as hard as a rock. She goes to several doctors and they refuse to treat her because of the potential for problems leading to legal action. The lunatic doctor my sister works with smells a challenge and gets to work. He opens her ass up to find the silicone has spread all over to difficult to reach places, hardened, and has killed all the tissue it has come in contact with. They clean out out all the silicone and in the process have to get rid of all the fat and muscle in her ass. Even the skin above it has died so they have to remove that too. Now this woman has no ass.

    They have to attach two large sponge-like things where her ass-cheeks would be to drain some fluid, she is shitting into a colostomy bag, and doctors are trying to find some way to make her ass grow back.

    Unfortunately, this was when my sister's rotation ended so I never found out what happened. The plan of action was apparently to use skin grafts and I think some sort of muscle implants to slowly build the woman a new ass.

    I shudder to think about what her medical bills will look like. Moral of the story: If a treatment is banned in the US, don't go get it done in Mexico because it is probably banned for a reason.
     
  16. minimum speed

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    My mom is a surgical technician and she works for a cosmetic surgeon. I've heard all sorts of stories from her. My mom is the only woman that works there that has had no procedures done. She just doesn't care. But there is another woman there that has had just about anything you can think of injected or lifted or whatever. She is one of those people that you see and you just know she looks unnatural.

    About three years ago I sat in on surgery for a woman who was getting breast implants. My mom's boss had me come up close and look inside once he had created the pocket for the implant. It was awesome and kind of creepy at the same time. She was a small lady in her late 30s. She had a couple of kids and her breasts were just nonexistent. She came out of it with about a C cup, and I think she looked good afterward.

    The best advice I have to give to anyone that wants cosmetic surgery is to shop around. Not for the best price, but for the best surgeon to work on you. Each one has procedures they are great at and ones that they half-ass. My mom's boss can give you a perfect new set of tits, but if you get liposuction don't be surprised if your results are a little less than you hoped for.
     
  17. ghettoastronaut

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    During a lecture on UV damage and photoaging from a prof of mine who is more competent than average and certifiably crazy, she showed us plenty of pictures of old people and pointed out why everything on their face was sun damage. All I could think was how all of my grandparents and older relatives had those things on their faces (wrinkles and other things), and I didn't think anything was wrong with them.

    A buddy of mine observed what I think he said was a mastectomy a while ago. They had a slit in her breast above her nipple, which always opened and closed in such a way that it looked like a one-eyed monster laughing. My friend thought this was hilarious, so picture a guy in an OR laughing at an unconscious woman's surgically sliced open boob. He also said that a lot of women shaved when going in for abdominal surgery. Trying to impress the handsome well-paid surgeons, I guess.
     
  18. JohnQ

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    As the first guy to admit to having had any, does a nose job count? To be fair, I HAD previously had my nose broken during fights and playing basketball as a kid, but I did actually have a deviated septum. While I know thats the excuse everyone uses to get one done, I couldn't breath through one of my nostrils, had a small white area on the skin where I'm assuming the bone and/or cartilage had repaired itself, and just began with a large nose to begin with. This was all during high school, so I'd also like to mention I was a lot more worried about my appearance.

    The amusing part is that the guy who performed the surgery wore leather pants during the interview, later came out of the closet to his wife and 2 daughters, was being sued by multiple women for implant and lipo screw ups(this came out years after either of my surgeries. He was very highly regarded when I had them done....leather pants and all), and eventually committed suicide at his "Physio-Therapy Studio." I don't care. He did an awesome job fixing my nose(both making it look normal and fixing the deviated septum), as well as taking my tonsils and adenoids out at 23 years old. I've yet to find another doctor willing to prescribe the kind of pain medication and dosages that he did. After my tonsils, I was so out of it that I watched Blackhawk Down on repeat for a month before I had the slightest clue what it was even about.
     
  19. deltabelle

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    For those of you who are curious, this is what an ass job can look like even if it "takes". They're not real practical unless you can stand up for three months while stuff heals. Oh, and don't plan on moving around much either, because that could jostle the implant. And forget about shitting- that requires sitting down and making stuff move.

    [​IMG]


    Perky, ain't it?
     
  20. WickedBitch

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    I used to say that I'd only get plastic surgery from the neck down. I'd love a breast lift, a tummy tuck and some lipo on my thighs. I frankly believe that I am average/basic/homely in the face but I wouldn't want to risk looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein or something to get it fixed.

    However, here recently I've been seeing Crow's Feet, even though I'm only 33. Old, yes but not old enough to be getting Crow's Feet. The steroid ointments I have had to use for years for my eczema (yes, I know) have left my skin thinned out which makes me more susceptible to wrinkles. Maybe some Botox is in order too then!

    All that shit looks horribly painful though so I would probably chicken out long before I ever got to the operating table. I'm a weenie.