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Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Prefontaine, Oct 3, 2011.
COPS presented by the Ringling Brothers.
Only one soldier had proper camo for Operation: Barnum and Bailey
Surrounded by hostiles, the platoon's position was compromised when the balloon giraffe Davis was pretending was a gun exploded.
"For the last time, corporal, we are not firing you into enemy territory out of a giant novelty cannon."
"You guys are a bunch of idiots. Those terrorists on the other side are gonna be looking for soldiers. They'll never notice me."
After years of embarrassing defeats in the war on terror, the United States decides to unleash its secret weapon: Clowns. The one thing that everyone is universally afraid of.
Beat me to it.
"You're all stupid, see they're gonna be looking for army guys."
More like Osama been Laughin!
(I would seriously like to know the back story on that.)
You got high, and you got low? Well I got jokes.
And that's the last time BrianH ever made a bet while drunk.
"Ringling Brothers... shit. I'm not with Ringling Brothers... Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in the circus. When I was home after my first tour, it was worse. I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I honked a horn "yes" to a divorce. When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back to pantomime in front of an ATM where people couldn't avoid me. I'm here a week now... waiting for a mission... getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Charlie squats in the bush, he refills his seltzer bottle."
"Anybody need an infinite length tourniquet?"
Shit got real during Operation Dumbo Drop.
Fucking affirmative action, now we have a bunch of clowns in the military.
With the rescinding of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" more than just homosexuals came out of the closet.
No one told Larry the DADT repeal only applied to closeted gays, not closeted clowns.
"So, guys, remember: cry in training, laugh in combat."
"What the hell is the new guy thinking wearing that?!"
"Oh, sure sir, don't bother telling me we don't do casual Friday at this job, I'm psychic!
Patch Adams' first week as an army medic was tough.
He's carrying a machine gun that can shoot 200 rounds in a minute. Unfortunately, they're all little flags that say "bang."
The guys from Alpha team took the warning of "it's always some clown that winds up getting himself killed" to heart. They figured that as long as they had a clown in the field, the rest of them would be safe.
In unrelated news, Private Jenkins was not at all happy with the random sampling of straw lengths available in the locale.
James, ever the coward, puts his suicide into the hands of others.
It was at that very moment that Dave regretted his drunken hyperbole the night before.
Spielberg's latest movie was doomed to failure immediately after the following photo was leaked.
Mitch's practical joke on the blind Iraqi translator goes too far.
The US Army has decided that it will no longer honor requests from the Make a Wish foundation.