The only thing saving Mildred from a full-blown stroke is that she can't see a darn thing without her glasses.
Tired of shitting in the chicken coop, Bobby-Sue and Joe-Ellen knew the only way Jethro would build their fancy new outhouse would be to light a fire under his ass.
Shegirl: CHAAAAAAAATER!!!! NETT AND MALTOB ARE A-SWORD FIGHTIN' WITH MY SEX TOYS AGAIN!!! TELL 'EM TO QUIT IT BEFORE I TURN 'EM BOTH INTA 'GINER SPLINTERS!!!
Paw would rather stick his dick in a bedpan than screw that red headed devil woman just one more time.
It wasn't the fright wig hair or that she looked like she brushed her teeth with a turd. Thelma Sue only remained a virgin because she could still outrun all of her brothers even after all these years.
Lady on right: "His penis is gettin' hard ageen!" Lady on left: "MA! Git away from ma brother! You kin fuck him when I'm done!"