"It will call me a MIGHTY Klingon Warrior, or it will get the whips again!" "But I like the whips, my captain! Just as I like all your enormous weapons." "Awwww, yeeeeah... Be a good girl and I’ll give you a sub-dermal pentagram for a tramp stamp." *squeal*
Producers for Badder Santa II, Return to LA, unable to get the original stars to return, have recast the main roles.
After years of reclusion while recovering from steroid abuse, Mr. T is looking to make a comeback. When asked about his upcoming adult alternative lifestyle film "Take a Walk on the Wild Side", the former bar bouncer replied, "THIS IS ART, CHUMP! I PITY THE FOOL WHO CAN'T SEE THAT!"
I was studying to be a doctor, but then the club I worked at was forced into bankruptcy by Big Porn. Now the only work I can get is as a real life sex doll for this over sexed imp who parades me around on a chain with my fun bags hanging out. My P.H.D has been put on hold indefinitely because I can no longer sit in class. This is due to the fact that whenever I leave the house I must have a 12" dildo lodged firmly in my rectum. The cruel dwarf makes me wear short skirts, and see through stockings so he can always tell that "my posture corrector" as he calls it is where it should be. I worry that I will never become the pediatrician that I always dreamed. I am the 99%. Or "No you silly imp! We left south out of Mordor. If you don't stop staring at my ass, and start paying attention to the road Gondor will be sacked before we even get there." Or "Da boobs Boss! Da boobs!"
"Sure, he SEEMED like a good idea when I bought him on eBay..." "Listen bitch boy, get on your knees and---you know what, nevermind, you're fine at that height already I suppose"