I agree 100%. Some people think they look like bad asses riding like this but from a purely functional standpoint it's stupid. Riding a bike in shorts hurts, it chaffs, hurts and is not comfortable. Anyone who rides without a helmet is a moron and clearly doesn't comprehend the concept of their head bouncing off the ground. The two states that I have seen that are the worst for this are Indiana and Florida. You'll see plenty of hick redneck idiots riding in jean shorts, wife beater and of course no helmet. No helmet law states drive me insane, it's nuts to see how many people think that wearing a helmet is just too uncool, cause you know, not wearing one shows how bad ass they are.
These were cool and out of the ordinary back in 2008, now you're just trying to hard. Just get the fuck out. When I see this combination I just assume the guilty party is doing one of the following. A.) Trying to hide her fat B.) Didn't take a shower this morning C.) Is on her period D.) All of the above I could rant on about sweats&uggs forever, I hate them so much. The male equivalent, sandals and socks. You look fucking retarded.
If there is a vehicle holding up traffic, there is an 84.1% chance* that there is a minivan at the front of the line. Of those minivans that are holding up traffic, there is a 77.8%* chance that the idiot driving will be asian, morbidly obese, talking on a phone, or all 3. *This data provided by a fictitous study I contrived specifically for this post.
Focus: The holy trinity of Northface-leggings-Uggs. Or any of those worn separately. That also goes for sweatpants outside of your home or the gym.
You can just pucker up and kiss my ass, Chellie! I think you meant to say "Firebirds," not T-Birds, because Ford Thunderbirds from the '80s were very plain looking. Either way, I used to drive a '92 Camaro, a body style that ran from '82-'92. And yes, it was black, just like my '89 Trans Am. FOCUS: If you drive one of these, you're probably an asshole: Spoiler If you wear Crocs, you are fat, lazy, or both. If you are a "man" and wear big fake diamond earrings (or any other bling), you are most likely a douche bag.
I guess they don't have laws for motorcycle protective gear here, but every time I see a greasy Hawaiian wearing a stained wife beater, board shorts, and oversized flip flops and no helmet I get the strangest urge to tap the back of their bike with my car.
Cars first: Spoiler ...says "My parents have bought me everything I have ever "owned", I only date guys who go to day spas and my lesbian experimentations will end when I get my communications degree! Spoiler ...says "Every song played in this car is drowned out completely by sub low-end bass notes that can effect the earth's rotation. I only wear white sunglasses, and I only hit on the hottest girl in each group of friends, and I live in a studio apartment so I can afford shiney things for my Flaming Fagmobile. Spoiler ...says "So what if it costs $200 every six days to fill up? Small cars are for pussies with normal-sized penises!" Spoiler ..."I hate men, and this vehicle ensures that one will NEVER want to date me." (how ELSE do you explain driving that?)
I was the same way growing up with Corvette's, and I'm not talking about the monsters like the ZR1. Now its not a garbage car and I know its an American "classic", but it was the accompanying attitude that got me. It costs as much as a most nice mid level imported sedans, but the people I knew that had them acted like they had some ridiculously priced super car and the "prestige" that went with owning a Corvette was second to none. Growing up in Wisconsin, I came to mentally align it as a white trash luxury car. That was only solidified when a family friend showed up to our house in a new Porsche 911 GT3, just an absolute dimepiece of a car, and I heard our neighbor who had a Corvette refer to him as a "stuck up bitch" yet this same neighbor parked his Corvette alone in a 2 car garage while their family SUV parked outside. Clothing? If you're wearing these I'm gonna assume you are lazy and do no real exercise. Also, any derivative of this... I'm gonna assume you are, at worst, socially awkward and at best, completely devoid of fashion sense. Alternatively, if you are wearing a well cut suit to any formal event, I'm gonna assume you have your shirt together. Screw looking like a 12 year old swimming in a suit at a bar mitzvah.
Maybe those American performance car owners want to have easily available parts and service for there cars? I love fast cars, but I'm a mechanic, and I think about maintenance and repairs. If I were to suddenly move to Europe/Asia/Australia, I wouldn't pay to have an American car imported, I'd find the best thing I could for the money. Aussies might think I look like a bogan for driving an old Holden Monaro or Ford Falcon, but you know what? I'm driving a car as fast as yours for a much lower cost. Now who's the idiot?
Focus: Cowboy boots and khakis. This shit runs rampant around here. Go to Oklahoma, Texas, and a handful of other states and you're bound to see some jackass with these on thinking he's some bad ass country motherfucker. I've got news for you asshole, just because you live in Texas, put on some boots, and soaked up a little CMT doesn't make you a cowboy. It makes you a moron. As far as cars go Spoiler and these Spoiler They take everything that is bad ass and awesome about motorcycles and completely do away with it. I'm a huge helmet advocate but riding one of these is like saying, "I want to feel like a bad ass without actually being a bad ass." I think people feel more comfortable on something that can't tip over but holy shit, if you get hit by a car it's going to be just as bad. It's not as if there is any more between you and the car on a trike vs. a motorcycle. Alt. Focus I second the properly fitted suit. I have to wear suits all the time for school functions. It's not about having the most expensive suit. It's about having one that fits you properly. A suit that fits you properly takes you from looking okay to looking and feeling like a million bucks. Spoiler
Any bumper sticker making fun of the fact their car gets horrible mpg wants me to chuck 9 volt batteries at them- looking at you H3 gimps. Cars most likely to be tatted up in bumper stickers- VW Bugs and busses, anything else with a hatchback. We get it, you're unique for shopping at Spencer's. You also drive 10 miles below the speed limit and are guaranteed to have facial hair.
I really don't give a fuck about cars. I routinely buy the cheapest thing I can get away with and really don't care as long as it does the speed limit. But old school bogan land yachts are only as fast as modern performance cars as long as you don't plan to ever turn a corner. And lots of the new generation ones where they actually tried to fix the handling so that they could from time to time take a corner at more than 5 miles an hour have major visibility issues. Lots of the new high performance holden range have drivers side roof struts that have been enlarged to support additional airbags. Which is good, because any time you try to turn you have a thirty degree blind spot in the direction of the turn - so those extra airbags come in real fucking handy. There's a reason why the police don't give a fuck about your bogan mobile, but tried really hard to ban the import of Evo's and WRX's. Also, if you're an aussie and you're driving a cheap and practical car and don't care if you look like a bogan? You'd get a ute (pickup). Pretty much any car window decal makes me assume that you wear track pants and a flannel shirt to work (and by work I mean to the welfare office). The exceptions are probably those stick figure family stickers which make me assume that a vapid whore or pussy whipped moron regularly rides in the vehicle. Any kind of Frangipanni flower decal makes me assume that the driver (regardless of gender) is not only a fan of, but may actually be chemically addicted to the taste of cock. I assume all motorcycle riders are either bad at math or borderline suicidal. Especially the fat ones who ride underpowered bikes. Even more so for the ones who ride mopeds/scooters or who ride with only legal minimum safety gear. Riding bikes is dangerous at best - but without a power to weight ratio or breaking capacity to get out of the way when someone merges into your lane without shoulder checking? That's just fucking dumb. And without proper safety gear, it's fucking retarded (I hear bikers gnashing teeth about how the fault is really with the asshole drivers, and they're right, but who gives a fuck, you'll never stop people driving like assholes).
Focus: I'll second (third?) people who drive motorcycles, especially if they're riding without gear. I see people regularly driving on the tollway without a helmet, and I think it's ridiculous. I just think it's a bad idea to ride them anywhere other than a pretty desolate country road, and I automatically assume he or she has terrible judgment or is an idiot. On the bright side, the ones who don't die when, not if, they crash give me awesome job security. Alt-Focus: Argyle. I think it's cute and nerdy, so anyone wearing it is probably witty and charming.
I admit I haven't spent as much time on that particular machine gun as I might like, but that looks photoshopped. Among other things, those barrels will start glowing when they're fired enough, I don't see that weak little attachment standing up to much use. Also, it's not a very good shop. The only thing that gets me about motorcycles is when the guy up front is all leathered up, and the girl on the back has a helmet and nothing more for proper protection. I mean, if you want to mess yourself up, go right ahead, but if you're going to shell out hundreds and hundreds of bucks on gear for you, and modifications on your bike, not to mention the initial cost of the bike itself and the cost for a young man to insure a motorcycle, the least you can do is get something decent for a passenger to wear. If anything went wrong, their injuries are going to be so much worse, and while I might be able to handle it if I messed myself up, I won't be responsible for it happening to anyone else.
These are funny as hell to see on the road: Spoiler The midlife crisis, graying, sunglasses wearing man in the drivers seat thinks he's young again because he's driving a convertible. and any car with these on them: Spoiler They scream "kidnap my children" to any pedophile around. Also, I always laugh at those people who run in those toe shoe things...I'll let them destroy their feet and I'll laugh as I run by in my real running shoes. These guys Spoiler
Fashion: "My name is Johnny Cheesedick": Spoiler "Number of full-time jobs I've had...zero (every boss I ever had was an asshole). Number of people I share an apartment with: six. Number of people I want to pay attention to me: infinity": Spoiler "My friend will pick a fight with some unsuspecting dude tonight. I will blindside said dude in the jaw, later we exhange high-fives over kicking several dude's asses tonight": Spoiler "Umm, I don't come to a bar just to be hit on all night...": Spoiler