Can I get some trail mix without rabbit feces please?

It's not really much of a health hazard by the way. Rabbits are not rodents, they're lagomorphs. Unlike rodents which are omnivorous, rabbits are vegetarian, which means their faeces generally do not contain pathogens. Rabbits are not known carriers of the hantavirus. Myxi (which is prevalent in wild rabbits) is not transmitted by droppings. There's a very small possibility of E coli but it would probably give the rabbit diarrhea (so not in dried pellets).

The second guy is a thief and completely deserved what he got.

 

He should've put a heavy dose of LSD in the trail mix. The outcome would've been much more entertaining.

 

One important question seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle here:

Did the rabbit shit taste bad? Because if not, I don't see what the problem is.

 

I would think the call to fire the guy, at least from my point of view, goes beyond the mere act of eating shit laced trail mix.

Rather, I would see that his behaviour is indicative of a number of things:

1. Disregard for his fellow workers;
2. Disregard for the property rights of others;
3. Inability to follow written directions;
4. Dismissal of potentially important safety signs;
5. Inability to realise his own errors and compensate for them;
6. Being a fucking pussy who has to run to management at the drop of the hat, instead of proactively dealing with problems; and
7. He's a thief.

Yes, I over analyse things. It's my job.

 

Yeah, in a perfect world trespassers couldn't sue landowners and rabbit feces eaters couldn't sue their employer and the owner of the trail mix.

But this isn't a perfect world, and you don't know the US judicial system if you think otherwise.

 

Speak to the machinist and arrange for a sit-down meeting where the machinist says he did not actually put rabbit feces in with the trail mix but instead fabricated the story due to his frustration over having his personal property constantly pilfered.

Get the machinist to throw out his container. Tell him not to pull that shit again.

Tell the shit eater that it was his own behaviour which brought about the situation and that if you hear one more complaint from another staff member about stealing food you will take it seriously.

Clearly, this won't work if fat boy stopping stuffing his face because he realised he was eating shit.

 

I wish the outcome wasn't so boring but I was frazzled with work/personal BS this week so I informally sat down with all three guys and told them that we could handle things one of two ways.

Option one was that they all shake hands, apologies all around, and agree to stop stealing food and also to stop fucking with the food in question. They aren't to talk about it anymore and ignore questions about the incident from their co-workers.

Or option two which was me turning the whole thing over to HR who would likely just fire everyone and be done with it.

They chose option one.

 

Owning a bar I go through this type of shit(no pun intended) everyday. "Child care" is about as apt a description as any.

 

He didn't actually trick him though. Its not like he walked up and said " Hey Dude, Try some of this." It was in a container labeled DO NOT EAT in a private office. So how liable is the company for the "eaters" theft and or resulting consequences?

 

Yea that sounds equivalent to a guy walking into an office, finding an electric pencil sharpener labeled "Do not stick your dick in this", promptly sticking his dick into it, and then complaining to the manager that he'd been tricked. As my second favorite governor once said, "You can't legislate against stupidity."