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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Senna Vs. Prost, Mar 30, 2011.

  1. xrayvision

    xrayvision
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    I also don't understand what is wrong with enjoying time with someone else. Yup...seems like THEY are the ones who had the problems.
     
  2. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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    You realize that two of those three are crazy, right?
     
  3. Pussy Galore

    Pussy Galore
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    Disturbed

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    I never said he was stupid. My mother implied that he was stupid. He refused to come over anymore because he didn't much like my mother after that. It's difficult to maintain a relationship when the boyfriend won't come over, and I can't spend the night at his house because his mother is also his roommate and disapproves of sleepovers.

    I absolutely understand that I used beyond poor excuses to dump guys. That's precisely the problem - I will hunt for any ridiculous flaw I can find just to be rid of someone before we get serious.
     
  4. LatinGroove

    LatinGroove
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    I apologize if my statement sounded like I was accusing you. My actual intent was more along the lines of asking why it was implied by your mother (sometimes I make these connections in my head but do not explain myself).

    Fuck that dude. I recall one girl's parents who were doctors and because I was "too different" (read: I'm a poor minority from the wrong side of the tracks) they did not approve of her dating me. You know what I told her? Fuck the both of them. I told her that while it would be nice for me to get along with her family and them approve of me, I'm not dating either one of them. More men need to grow a pair.
     
  5. CougarChamp

    CougarChamp
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    I dated a girl during law school for a year and a half to two years. The second half of the relationship she was living in NYC and I was still in Boston. I agreed to take the NY bar and move to the city. Four days before I moved, and coincidentally the day I signed a lease on an apt, she broke up with me and said that I didn't really want to move to NYC and that we wanted different things. At the time I thought she was a fucking idiot, but after a few months went by I realized she was probably right and I kind of commend her for having the balls to go through with the break up. The hardest part of the whole thing was that she completely cut off all communication. She blocked my phone number and didn't return any e-mails.

    To get over it I drank myself into oblivion at 7A in the village. They gave me pint glasses of Jack and shots of tequila for hours on end (thanks guys!). This went on for about a month, then I decided I needed to quit being a faggot and pulled myself out of it. I moved to LA, and six or seven months after the break up I was back to feeling like contributing member of society.
     
  6. TeslaCoil

    TeslaCoil
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    I am in the process of getting over my first real breakup. We were good friends for several years, and then roommates for a short time before we started a romantic relationship. Long story short, 3 years went by and I grew up by 3 years in that time and he did not. We were both miserable and there was no choice but to end things - I was the one that pulled the plug officially.

    The hardest part is that he was my best friend since the beginning of college. I feel like he understood me better than anyone else and I'm scared that I won't find anyone that loved me like him ever again in my life. I have cried over the past 3 months more than I have in the rest of my life. The thing that keeps me strong in this is remembering how miserable we both were at the end and how deep down I know this was the right decision for both of us.

    The actual things I have been doing to get over it? Going out with my friends more often, exercising more (started going to regular bikram yoga classes), buying all the food that I never did before because he didn't like it, watching/renting shows and movies that I want to watch but know he never would. Basically doing everything that I could possibly want to do for myself but maybe didn't in the past because of a compromise.

    Lessons I've learned for the future:
    1. Living with a significant other is no joke. Breaking up when you share living space is a huge pain in the ass and just plain painful. I will likely not be living with another boyfriend until I am engaged or fairly certain we are both in it for the long haul.

    2. Listen to your gut. I had a bad feeling about a few things but there was always an excuse as to why things weren't the way I wanted them. People are who they are, and if there are big things that conflict with how I see myself living my life with another person in the long run, I won't be holding my breath for that to change. I will be leaving.

    3. I WILL NOT merge finances until marriage. I had a credit card for a long time, added him to it for various reasons, and now can't get him off. The company will not remove him from the account no matter what. I have to cancel a card that I opened on my own, is a significant part of my credit history and has a huge limit. This is a hard pill to swallow.

    Sorry for the super long post. I am by no means an authority on this stuff. Some of this was 'young and dumb' type mistakes, some I'm not quite sure what I was thinking. Either way this is an issue that is frequently on my mind lately so I have a lot to say about it these days.
     
  7. redbullgreygoose

    redbullgreygoose
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    A week ago I "broke up" with someone I had only been seeing for two weeks. I missed her a lot a week ago and still miss her a little bit right now but I've gotten over it for the most part. I already have had rebound sex with another girl. The thing is that I can tell she misses me now that I am over her. Even though she broke up with me. Women...

    edit: The last thing you want to do after a break up is make rash decisions or cry/beg for the person back. Take a deep breath and just let it go (at least for now). You don't want to be cringing over mistakes you made during a vulnerable and emotional time in your life. No, I didn't make that mistake this time but I have before.