I'm in a relationship that has come to a point where neither myself nor my girlfriend is happy, and it's time for us to move on. I started out writing this on the Advice Board, but I quickly realized that I don't really want advice on *how* to break up, but rather stories of breakups that have gone either horribly horribly wrong, or smoothly 2 weeks before the wedding (the LTribbey thread on the RMMB was pretty much gold). So spill it, TiB. Any vases thrown at your head that sailed into the TV after you got caught cheating? Have you disappeared into a new state with a new identity without telling your (in)significant other? Let's hear it.
Bonus points for anyone whose relationship ended when your girlfriend introduced you to hers. Those stories never get old.
My high school girlfriend and I hated each other at the end of our relationship and I broke up with her on the morning of our graduation. She threw a five subject notebook at my car as I drove away from her in the parking lot. If the passenger window had been open, I probably would've had some spiral-bound in my cheek.
Who knew that the phrase, "Checkout time, bitch, I'm done!" uttered immediately post-coitus was an inappropriate break-up measure?
An ex and I had a general rule that once we arrived at the other's place, we could just walk in if the door was unlocked, provided there was a courtesy 'omw' text to give a few minutes warning for things like hiding porn and hopping in the shower. After seeing him for a few months, I jumped in the car and was on my way when I realised I hadn't sent the heads up text, and there were no convenient red lights during which to send one. I paused at the door when I came in, heard his shower running, yelled 'I'M HERE!', and went into his room to drop my overnight bag. There was a mad scrambling sound from the bathroom. There was a desperate sounding yell to 'come here so I can say hi!'. There was an msn conversation detailing just what he'd like to do to a 50 year old man on his computer monitor. He came in the room behind me, dripping wet, stares at me for a good 30 seconds and goes 'So... umm... ' I stared back for a bit, picked up my bag and replied 'Yeah, you take care now, best of luck in the future' Awkward.
She was my first truly serious relationship. I left home to attend college approximately 2 hours away and she was finishing high school. We saw each other every weekend, but that wasn't enough for her. She became extremely clingy. We absolutely had to talk daily and every conversation quickly devolved into her whining and crying because she wanted me to come home and be with her. I dealt with that for approximately 3 months before I ended the relationship. I loved her, but I couldn't keep dealing with her bullshit. And I felt bad for ending it. I really did. Until I found out from our mutual friends that she'd been cheating on me the entire goddamn time that I'd been gone. I was mad and I told her where to go, of course. Her response? Well... She took the highroad and sought forgiveness. All was well. Wait... Did I say that she took the highroad? My mistake. What I meant to say was that she starting telling anyone who'd listen that I'd raped her and that I used to physically abuse her while we were together. She'd play nice and say what I wanted to hear when her and I talked, but behind my back, she was doing everything that she could to run my name into the ground. She spent what seemed like months making sure that everyone who she knew hated me. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. It's even worse when the woman is doing the scorning.
I was seeing a girl just after I got out of college; she was funny, smart, gorgeous, and unfortunately a tad bit unstable. I was living at her apartment part time while we were talking about moving in together. I drive up to her place one day after work to find all my belongings that I had there on top of the covered parking, and a great deal of it on fire or burnt. I got out of my truck and picked my damaged cell phone off the asphalt, got back in my truck and left. I mean really, I may be stupid but burning clothes are a hell of a hint. She called me about a month later to tell me she had found a call from “TINA” on my cell. I responded; Tina is my cousin you crazy bitch, we went to her wedding, you have her number programmed on your phone. She hung up and I have never talked to her again. Damn I miss that jacket.
None of my breakups were all that fascinating so I'll steal my friend's since I helped him escape. He was dating the devil. She was a mean spirited, spiteful, horrible person that all of his friends hated. Unfortunately I think there was probably a chemical imbalance to blame but that's not the point. My friend worked as an engineer for a construction company that does major highway and road repairs so his schedule was sometimes crazy. They generally worked late at night until early AM to miss the major commuting hours. His girlfriend would drive by the sites in the middle of the night to make sure he was there, almost getting arrested twice by State Police for going behind barriers and into areas she wasn't authorized to be behind (they take that whole 9-11 thing pretty seriously around major roadways in Boston). She was also an actress when it came to their arguments telling people he hit her (he didn't he's not that type of guy), faking a pregnancy, then a miscarriage, then a few other illnesses... it was bad. He had put off getting engaged for as long as possible but she was becoming adamant about it. When he told her he needed more time she went nuts so he decided it was over. Rather than dealing with the violence and the scene she would cause when he told her it was over he decided to do it on the sly. Anyone who thinks that's a pussy's way out never met Maria. So we enlisted a few female friends to go away on a "girls trip" shopping in ME. They left on Friday and were returning late Saturday afternoon. In that time period we moved out ALL of his stuff. Leaving behind any and every piece of "jointly owned" furniture, electronics, etc. He took his clothes, sports collectibles, and things that he moved in with. We moved it all into my storage building and then he left on a two week vacation. She returned to find his stuff missing and him nowhere to be found. She freaked. Breaking into a friend's house she thought he was hiding at. Showing up at his parents multiple times, basically making the rest of us miserable but at least he was safe. After two weeks her anger had dissipated somewhat and that was that. She still hates all of us and him but at least she didn't harm herself or him, or cry wolf and get him arrested. Sometimes in matters of the heart flight is better than fight.
Nothing like a fake pregnancy followed by a fake miscarriage. I've been there. We'd dated for about 4 months. We hit a slight rough patch, quickly worked through it and decided to continue dating. She started to act erratic, though. The relationship just wasn't the same. She'd started telling completely unnecessary lies. I wouldn't hear from her for 2 or 3 days at a time. That was enough for me. I bailed. Once it sunk in about 2 weeks later that it was actually over, she decided to let me know that she was pregnant and that I was the father. I remained calm and just thought about it for a day or two. She was taking the pill and while we didn't always use condoms when we fucked, I had ALWAYS pulled out. Now... Was it possible that she really was pregnant? Sure... But I didn't think so. I called her bluff. She literally "miscarried" the next morning and I never heard another word about it.
Freshman year of college, I started dating this one chick who had issues. Not the 'crazy jealous bitch' issues, but the depressive threaten suicide issues. (To this day, I don't understand why that didn't bring up giant red flags). Relationship runs its course in about a year, when I finally get fed up with her issues and her inability to try and do something about them, and I break it off. She goes nuts and spends the rest of the semester trying to call me, keeps dropping by my place. Soon as the semester ends though, I never hear from her again. I figure that she has realized its over and moved on. Nope. About a year later I hear that as soon as the semester ended, she dropped outta college and moved back home. Oops.
SGEDIT: You posted to a break up thread that you don't have relationships to break off. You added nothing. Lurk more.
Although it isn't the best breakup story, I once dumped a girl 10 minutes before I moved 300 miles across the state. I had graduated the night before and had my new career all lined up in the new town, and she was supposed to join me at the end of summer. I had made up my mind that this wasn't going to be the case. So I packed up my shit (as planned), told her I was breaking things off, and hauled ass out of town. I felt bad for about 10 minutes. But I realize it was one of the easiest breakups, mostly because there was no awkwardness of co-mingling social circles or running into her at the grocery store. My upcoming breakup, however, has all the makings of a VERY messy ending. I may be adding to this post soon. (That reminds me, I need to change my password...)
My (the) worst relationship ended with me being shoved backwards down a flight of duplex stairs. I took this opportunity to therefore end said relationship. You see, the term "utterly sociopathic house-hound" is thrown around loosely these days... I slung my loaded six-string over my shoulder and rode off into the sunset, never to be seen again. I was single for five years after that 9-month incident. Talk about being driven to the absolute brink of homosexuality.
http://www.techeye.net/internet/woman-says-3d-porno-made-her-pregnant "US military man Erick Jhonson came home from a stint in Iraq to find that his wife was pregnant. Clearly he assumed she had an affair, but his wife Jennifer claims the “other man” was actually someone a little less physical." I think that wins.
That story turned out to be a fabrication, unfortunately: http://www.popjolly.com/woman-says-she-became-pregnant-after-watching-porn-in-3d-365
I'm in a situation now with more than one woman and shit is going to hit the fan sooner or later, but it's just too interesting to see how it all plays out, even though I know it's going to bite me in the ass. But my hardest breakup had to be when I was stationed on a ship in Japan. I was seeing a really awesome japanese girl out there, like many of my fellow sailors were, and was getting quite used to having her around. This was abnormal for me in that because of things that have happened in my past I don't really make emotional attachments in the first place, especially given the knowledge of my ships schedule. See, we were slated for decommissioning which meant that we were going to leave for the states and never come back. We both knew this and chose to continue the relationship anyway and just deal with the forced breakup when it came. Well that last week in Japan finally rolls around and it was a lot harder than I had ever thought it was going to be. When my ship left that port for the last time, I experienced a pain that I haven't felt before or since. We sent a few emails back and forth, but in the end decided it was best we break it off completely instead of attempting some half assed communication that would just prolong the complete separation. I haven't spoken to her in almost three years. I've had the urge to touch base with her, but I found out she is engaged now, so doing so would only make things complicated at best. I feel like it was a good experience for me in the long run though, and I have no regrets.
I've been dating a girl for on and off for about 2 years. She would always say she wasn't sure if she wanted a relationship and so I would stop contacting her because I wasn't about to be her best friend. Then she would come back and tell me that we she loved me. For some reason I took it for granted despite actually loving her , always choosing partying with my friends for a bit longer while she waited for me to come home. Eventually she got sick of this told me she was unhappy. Me being the douche I was didn't try to get her back i just assumed she would eventually come back around as the next 2 months were filled with booty calls. About 2 weeks ago we were still having these late night visits when we got into a bit of an argument and I didn't speak to her for about a week. 2 Days ago she started seeing someone else and thought she should tell me. I've never been so crushed in my life. She hung around waiting for me to try and get back together with her but I never did. Tried to get her back last night but it was too late and I made my self look and feel like a desperate pathetic tool. Worst part is the guys is the opposite of me. Boring, Dull with zero personality, a complete drone/sheep. Don't know why I'm posting this. It's not funny. I just feel like shit.
I had a girlfriend in college and we were on and off like any typical 19 and 17 year-olds are. Well, for about a month and a half we quit talking after fighting about something important like a CD or something. We started talking again and she tells me about another guy she had briefly dated while we were off. Of course, I talk shit about him even though I don't know him, tell her that if I hear she talks to him again, it's over, etc. About a month passes and we're doing good again. And then she starts to get sick. And then fat in the belly. And then she finds out she's pregnant. The timing lines up to him perfectly. And then she tells me that he always just "pulled out" (fool proof). I guess she has to talk to him again. I cease all contact and run, fast. Fast forward about three years. I get a call out of the blue from an unknown number. I pick it up and it's her. Apparently, they had gotten married at 18, tried to raise the kid and it didn't work out (really surprised me too) and they got divorced. She basically goes on to tell me that she re-thought the math and that there's a chance her two-year old could be mine. I think it was about $600 at the time to prove her wrong. I should've went to Maury.