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Bottom Shelf Last Meal

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Revengeofthenerds, Jan 10, 2015.

  1. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    Here's some pictures of inmate's last meals.

    Obviously, everything is bottom shelf. When they ask for steak, they get something my dog eats because I burnt it on the grill. I can only imagine the vegetables came from a can and that there is little-to-no seasoning involved. The last meals are made from what is already on-site, and the chef is often a prisoner.

    Focus: Your last meal.

    For the sake of being creative, we'll stick with Virginia's rule that the meal has to come in under $40. For the sake of being TiB, we'll say that you may include a single serving of an alcoholic drink (not included in the $40 rule), i.e. one beer/glass of wine/cocktail/glass of liquor/etc.
     
  2. Juice

    Juice
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    I think we did this thread like a year ago, I cant remember. Bump anyway.

    My last meal would be a Pepperoni Pizza from my favorite place back home.

    The alcohol would be a glass of Glenfiddich, neat.
     
  3. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    My last meal would be a hot 18 year old girl's pussy.

    With the money I save on the actual meal, I'll go ahead and get a bottle of bourbon, maybe Bulleit or Maker's.
     
  4. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    I recently finished Superfreakonomics and according to that quality hookers are now running at $500/hr. So you're way over. $40 might get you this.

    Or maybe you can cut a deal for 4.8 minutes. Who takes an hour to eat?

    Focus:

    - Peking duck
    - Grits cafe house salad
    - Mint Chocolate Chip shake (counting that as dessert, not drink)

    Drink: Aardwolf pumpkin ale
     

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  5. CharlesJohnson

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    To quote Jim Harrison, "I've never been big on the last meal. I want lots of last meals." We did this thread a year or two ago. Pasta, beers, and cheeseburgers weighed heavily on my list. It's nice to have the leisure to worry about things like this without fear of imminent death.

    As an appetizer I want a cheeseburger from The Brass Ring Pub in Palm Beach Gardens. They have a 30+ year old grill that is seasoned with those decades of animal fat and salt. Wash it down with Bell's beers and Paulaner Oktoberfest. And a Westvleteren 12. Fuck that one drink rule.

    The main event would be mom's spaghetti and sausage*. She got the recipe from her mom, we tweaked it over the past 20 years. Have that with a bottle of Vieux Telegraphe 2011 Chateauneuf du Pape.

    Finish it all off with a rum baba filled with cannoli cream, covered in rum syrup. Then a digestif of Noah's Mill 15 year old bourbon. Because I will need a less gaseous stomach going to my death.



    *
    The spaghetti and sausage recipe:

    1 pound spaghetti
    1 pound sweet fennel sausage
    1 pound hot Italian sausage
    olive oil
    28 ounce can of San Marzano tomato sauce
    1/2 red onion diced
    1/4 carrot diced SMALL
    10 cloves garlic
    1/2 cup cheap red wine
    1 scant teaspoon salt
    1 scant teaspoon pepper
    fat pinch red pepper flakes
    fat handful fresh basil, chopped

    Cut the sausages into threes. Brown with a little olive oil in a pot. Remove when brown on both sides, but not cooked through. Add more olive oil, cook the onion and carrot gently. They should be getting yellow, translucent, and aromatic. Before the onion browns, about 1-2 minutes, add the garlic for no more than 45 seconds and stir every few seconds. You want it fragrant, the bite taken out of it, but not browned. Deglaze with wine. Add tomato and seasoning. Add sausage. Simmer slowly for 25-30 minutes. Cook the pasta in boiling, salted water. DO NOT RINSE when done. Remove the sausage from the sauce, remove a cup of sauce (don't over sauce your noodle), add the basil to the sauce, then throw in the pasta while still damp, and mix/toss.
     
  6. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    - Chips, salsa & guacamole from my favorite Mexican restaurant
    - Kobe beef cheeseburger cooked by the former chef at the Blue-eyed Daisy Bakeshop in Serenbe
    - Hash brown casserole cooked by my friend's mom
    - Shelled edamame with Lowry's season salt
    - I'd have just a regular beer with my meal, something not too hoppy, from our local brewery

    - Chocolate ├ęclair cake (there is no other dessert) and
    - Black coffee from Waffle House
     
  7. bewildered

    bewildered
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    The biggest block of cheese they can find. A big gulp of whole milk.

    Because I'm not going down without a fight.
     
  8. dewercs

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    20 ounce bone in ribeye medium rare topped with blue cheese.

    Jack neat.

    I can only hope that when they give me the needle it will all come out of my ass like a covey of quail and makes a huge mess.
     
  9. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Steak & eggs is my favourite meal and not exactly a wallet buster. Make sure those are over-easy eggs and white toast ya fuckin' screw. Fillet mignon. That's bacon AND steak, bitches.
     
  10. TX.

    TX.
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    Location:
    With Waylon, Willie and the boys
    Chips with salsa and guac
    Hamburger with Fries and honey mustard
    Mac and cheese
    Brownie a la mode
    Bottle of decent red wine
     
  11. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Gimme a bucket of butter chicken sauce and a pile of naan bread and I'll call it even with the executioner.
     
  12. Flat_Rate

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    Waffle House steak and eggs

    40oz Bud

    I win.
     
  13. guernica

    guernica
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    Well considering I'm in Australia, that $40 gets spent on my solitary beer, so I guess I'm dying hungry
     
  14. katokoch

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    Let's find out how far that $40 will go at a barbecue joint and put a platter of brisket, ribs, sausage, pork, burnt ends, fries... hell some of everything in front of me with lots of sauce too. Make that beer a growler of something dark from one of the breweries around here while you're at it and I'll be pretty happy.
     
  15. $100T2

    $100T2
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    In-N-Out double-double no sauce, chocolate shake, fries. And a 1.75L bottle of Sailor Jerry.