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blue dog..you're slacking...DRUNK THREAD 04/09

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Apr 9, 2010.

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  1. SaintBastard

    SaintBastard
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    Disturbed

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    I'm sorry. I can't hear any of you over the sound of my dick screaming.
     
  2. Creelmania

    Creelmania
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    Tonight was definitely a new experience for me. At work we have these absolutely massive garbage bags, and I hotboxed it with two friends today. The three of us all got baked as shit off one doob. I had to throw it out because it stunk, but I'm gonna just grab another one next week. Gotta do that again soon.

    And if y'all are gonna be posting pictures of hot girls, might I break things up a bit with this:

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Fernanthonies

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    Just your scrote? Because dollars to donuts says I have the biggest balls of anyone on this board.

    Small penis though, so don't get your hopes up ladies.
     
  4. SaintBastard

    SaintBastard
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    Oh yeah? I had the biggest ballsack out of all you until it fully ripened, fell off, and started posting on the TiB.
     
  5. Spoz

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    I switched to cask wine today for financial reasons.

    As I was pouring my second glass, one of my vietnamese housemates said "You drink a lot of alcohol". I was a little taken aback but his english isn't the best so all I replied was "Yes, I like wine." After a pause, he said "Are you lonely or sad?". He then said I should go run laps around a nearby track with him because that's how he combats depression.

    I realise now what I should have said to that was "Not anymore!!!" as I air-cheers'ed his non-existent glass. Ah well, there's always next time.
     
  6. Fernanthonies

    Fernanthonies
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    May I suggest Lost lake, or perhaps Pigs Eye? Its beer (in the loosest sense of the word), and while it will get you drunk it will also pack on some calories so that while you may be lonely, you will at least be fat and warm...and it's cheap!

    Fuck'n A man, I remember going to concerts in Tahlequah, Oklahoma where Pigs Eye was $1 a can. Those were the 'good old days', if you know what I mean.
     
  7. Fernanthonies

    Fernanthonies
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    Good point, I don't think I could compete with a 240lbs man baby that lives in his mothers basement and fucks a combination of plants and hair brushes.
     
  8. iczorro

    iczorro
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    I don't want to post my ball sack. I'm afraid of everyone being jealous, paparazzi, just... you know, when my balls get public, everyone is gonna end up comparing their balls to mine, and I'd rather be Sandra Bullock on the subject...
     
  9. Natty

    Natty
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    Damn Chater, how you going to give BD a hard time for not starting the thread when he's got family in town?
     
  10. Noland

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    Jesus Christ. Nutria and nutsacks?

    This place is like a cock fight mixed with a goat fuckin'.
     
  11. Tuesday

    Tuesday
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    you say that like it's a bad thing.
    [​IMG]
     
  12. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    I've only been with one chick who could manage to get the whole sack in her mouth, but she had to unhinge her jaw like a snake basically. (we would get bored and try crazy things)

    But I am average otherwise.
     
  13. CharlesJohnson

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    Apparently my porn even gets beer goggles.

    My head hurts, everything tastes like fruit punch, there's a red ring around my mouth and my teeth are red wine stained, and I've got a funky rash on my wrist.

    Fuck 4 Loko.

    As per the ball talk: no, really. My balls are huge. Like grapefruit huge. My right one is something out of a Dali painting. The left one dangles low like a sad basset hound.
     
  14. himsoforreal

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    When I was a boy we used to float the slough in the country and pop them lil nutria's in the head with our pellet guns. Sometimes the pellets would hit the water at a peculiar angle and ricochet off the surface and hit peoples cars or houses. That was good times.
    I guess you could say "I used to bulls eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters."
     
  15. MoreCowbell

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    And he wonders why we make fun of him.
     
  16. toytoy88

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    Tell me if these beer prices making any kind of sense (All at the same store and all the same brand: Busch. I'm a alcoholic hillbilly, so sue me.):

    12 pack $9.50
    18 pack $10.99

    For an extra $1.49 (Or about a quarter apiece) you get 6 more beers, right?

    Then comes the big what the fuck:

    24 pack $17.99

    6 more beers for the low, low added price of $7 (About $1.18 each). Who taught these rednecks math and cost per unit?

    So I get to the beer store (Yes, it really is called that) this morning and there are no 18 packs. My left eye begins to twitch.

    A 12 pack is only going to whet my thirst and I just flat out refuse to pay the extra $7 for the extra 6 cans of presumed golden unicorn piss that a 24 pack holds.

    I stand there staring blankly at the cooler and twitching, pondering my options. Then a golden glow, a beacon if you will, appears from the next cooler over. As usual I'm drawn to the shiny object and there it was:

    Natty Ice 18 pack $11.99

    I knew instinctively this was a horrible idea, but the wheels had already been set in motion and once the momentum starts building there's no stopping it anymore then I could stop a dam break by pissing at it in a vague attempt to turn the it back.

    I know Ice beer has only a fractionally higher alcohol content, but for some reason it effects me like hard alcohol. In short, I turn into a boiling cauldron of seething rage, hate, and stupidity. With firearms. And an overactive imagination.

    I truly hope no one stops by to visit today, because I've only drank 4 of the things and I can already feel the fog developing. Oh well, into the abyss...

    I also re-read that story for my baby cousin I linked to the other night. Jesus, what a steaming pile of shit. Never try to write anything when you're 26 beers deep into the night, you might think you just shit Shakespeare, but you'll be very, very wrong. I MIGHT be able to salvage something from it, but I highly doubt it.
     
  17. ghettoastronaut

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    Miley Cyrus?

    We have "The Beer Store"s too, and we like to consider ourselves fancy upmarket hold-your-pinky-out drinkers. Except a six-pack of the good stuff costs you 11-14 bones (7 dollars for the cheap stuff), and you generally save 5-10 dollars buying a case over four six-packs.

    Actually, our beer stores will charge you a twelve-pack price if you buy two sixes. So maybe we're marginally less fucked up than you.
     
  18. ec88

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    Going to a women's rugby match/game whatever it's called today. Hopefully some shirts rip and I get to see some titties flop around...or would that be bad considering they are rugby girls? Somebody show me some pictures of hot rugby girls so i'll know that they really do exist.
     
  19. mya

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    That is exactly what I thought, but based on whatever that website is, it is somebody else. For anybody who has a burning desire to see Miley Cyrus naked, I imagine it shouldn't be toooo terribly long before you have your opportunity.

    Perfect weather today, may be time to switch it up to the old red bull and vodka instead of the standard wine. I know how to live life on the edge, I tell you!
     
  20. Misanthropic

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    Is it just me, or is $18 for a case of Busch a little pricey? And I'm referring to what it typically goes for, not what anyone in their right mind would spend.

    I've been busy as hell this past week, and as a result I've drank less than I have in months. Shit, I've even taking to opening a beer at night and not finishing it. I'm sure my liver is hoping I stay busy.
     
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