Birthday Suit

I can't remember if there was something like this when there was a man who was seen naked in his house by a little girl from outside and was charged with sexual harassment.

I was talking with some friends today, and we got to the subject of sleeping. Apparently most of them prefer to sleep nude. I thought this was kind of weird. I have never slept naked. I always wear at least a pair of boxers, and usually basketball shorts over top, even in the dead heat of summer. When I told them this, they found it strange and also informed me that they all enjoyed walking around their houses naked when no one else is home. I also thought this was very odd. Don't get me wrong, I'll walk around in my boxers or a towel after showering, but never naked, even when home alone. The worst I've done is take a shit with the door open while home alone, and that was only once.

Later that night, I asked a couple more friends what they thought about it, and some of them agreed with me, and don't do either, and some people said that they do both. Some do one, but not the other.

I was thinking we could do a poll for this.

Focus: Do you walk around the house naked when no one is home? Do you sleep naked? Do you do one but not the other?

Alt Focus: Any funny stories about being naked at home when someone else came in unexpectedly? Did a neighbour get a glimpse through a window? I'm sure there will be a lot of stories about people being caught rubbing one out.

 

Some would say naked stories are the best stories. Who am I to disagree?

 

FOCUS

I still live at home with my family. 2 parents and 3 siblings. I work full-time hours during the week, so I'm only generally home Monday-Friday after 6pm, or on weekends if im I'm out. With a family of 6, there's rarely a time that nobody is home during these times, and even if there is, it's likely anyone could come home at any time at all. This obviously makes walking around the house quite a risky activity. I'll even still listen to porn with headphones on if nobody's home, just to avoid any awkward situations.

 

Focus:

I love sleeping and walking around naked. As i lived by myself until September, this is something that happened quite a lot. I am struggling with the forced use of clothes now that there are housemates around, but sleeping naked is still a must.

Anti-Focus:

At my last unit, where i lived by myself, the mailboxes were nowhere near my unit or car space, so i would only check it when i had the energy to do so. This meant once a week on average.

I was sitting on my couch naked, playing some videogames on a Saturday morning. I was just about to work up the motivation to go shower when the front door swung open and my real estate agent and 2 potential tenants walk in to see me unsuccessfully try and cover my junk with a playstation controller while hurling abuse at them.

The 48 hour notice letter that they had left me had gone unchecked and presented a pretty awkward situation for everybody involved.

 

Being naked all the time is too much for me. I feel defenseless. Boxers are protection enough for me though. Soon as I get in my room it is boxers and nothing else. Plus I have a bathroom attached to my room so no need to get dressed just to take a piss.

 

Naked is preferred in pretty much any situation. Definitely sleep naked and am naked pretty much any time I am alone at home. I am naked right now, in fact.

I have an awesome body so I am 100% comfortable with my body. If nothing else, I consider my nakedness to be a personal service to myself and a public good for greater society. Once I've gotten naked with a girl, I probably won't put clothes back on unless we are leaving to go somewhere and/or someone else needs to come into the room. If social norms allowed it, I would probably be naked any time it was warm enough for it. (That said, I am not one of those douches that takes his shirt off at every opportunity—this is too bad because, given the marbled sculpture of my body, I feel the need to wear clothes even if it would be appropriate not to, because otherwise I feel self-conscious and assume people must think I'm trying to show off. Ironically, I would probably be more comfortable being shirtless in public if I was fat.)

Okay, now for the funny: In my last apartment, the blinds to my bathroom window broke about a week after I moved in. I never bothered to fix them (given my standard of living, this was the least of my concerns). Only problem was: There was an office right across from that window (like 30 feet away) with some dude's desk pointing right into my window. That guy probably inadvertently saw me naked and taking a shit dozens of times during the 6 months that that window blind was not fixed. He probably also saw me washing my balls in the bathroom sink when I was too lazy to take a shower.

 

I've heard many versions of this story, but I actually witnessed one iteration:

We were visiting Puerta Viarta (or however it's spelled) as a kind of reward cruise, because our ship had been performing so well, and the Navy is not without mercy.

One dude from engineering got so drunk that his Liberty Buddy lost him. He turned up naked, on some local's couch.

Dude thought he was home, found a house he thought was his, stripped down, and passed out watching TV. Yes, it does really happen. And for what it's worth, my summary above is pretty much all he remembered. "I thought I was home" was what he told me.

 

I just don't fucking understand anyone who walks around naked at home during the day.

The balls and penis swing around WAY too much, for one thing. And equally importantly, what about when you're sitting down? Do you really want a chair or couch, with all its accumulated dust and dirt, on your junk? And conversely, your filthy ass all over your precious leather/plush sofa? Disgusting.

Sleeping is a different matter; I have tried both methods, but still find boxers, and usually a plain white shirt or wife-beater to be the most comfortable set-up when I'm alone. Of course, with a girl, nakedness wins out for sheer utility.

 

I still live with the parents, so I'm only naked whilst taking a shower. I don't sleep naked either, only in boxers - you roll onto your penis or balls whilst asleep just once and you learn your lesson. Since I have moobs and am overweight, I'm never shirtless outside of home (I don't go to the beach, so I don't have that problem). I'm kind to to the eyesight (and minds) of others like that.

 

Exactly the same as of this moment. If I'm home alone then its nearly always naked. Always have the door closed at home when I crap even if alone. Keeps the smell in the one room. As for sitting on the couch I normally have a covering on the couch or I use the laptop in my room.

WHAT... THE... FUCK... ? You must be hung like a rogue elephant because I've been sleeping naked for years and I have never ever got my junk caught in the sheets or cover. You could make money in porn with something that big.

 

I haven't slept with boxers in 1.5+ years or so. Don't remember when that girl convinced me to, but I've slept naked ever since. Can't sleep with cloth restrictions on me anymore.

And hey, if you're waking up from rolling over on your dick, don't complain to us. Complain to Adam & Eve .com and try to get out of the contract you didn't know you were in...

 

I live with 4 males. I don't walk around naked because if I did, someone (usually the 11 year old) would start snickering about boobs and stuff (though thankfully while I'm nursing his baby brother, he keeps his comments to himself). Needless to say, I don't walk around naked. If I lived alone, I might on occasion but being naked just feels too vulnerable. I can't sleep naked either. It could be 100 degrees in my room - my ass needs to be covered, if nothing else. Something about underwear is very comforting.

As for using the bathroom with the door closed: I haven't done that in years. It wouldn't do any good anyway. The kids will find some way in. I swear they save up their most important questions for the most awkward times, such as the middle of the grocery store or when I'm on the toilet. "What is the meaning of life?" "Where do babies come from?" "I'm pondering the cosmos! Could you lend me your opinion?!" I haven't pooped in peace in 11 years.

 

So marriage makes life backwards? Sleeping and fucking should be done naked. Bathroom activities should never happen with less than three pieces of clothing involved...

 

I have never been able to sleep naked, even when I did live alone/before I got married. You are right, though. Fucking should always be done naked, from what I remember. I also agree with your parting sentiment. For some reason, using the potty while naked just feels awkward. Taking a quick leak before hopping in the shower seems weird. I don't pee in the shower (I am anxiously awaiting the thread about that) so this is a common occurrence.

 

My body is a literal space heater when I go to sleep, most of the girls I sleep with don't even bother with sheets or anything because I'm so damn warm. But I hate sleeping naked. I've only done it a few times just out of laziness after sex, but I just feel awkward doing it and I feel more awkward waking up and having to find all my clothes.

Even when I'm home alone I wear at least boxers. It's not that I have some problem with my body, it's more along the lines of what KIMaster said.

 

I don't know how common it is, but it happens at my house, too. There really is no more uncomfortable situation that having your two year old daughter try and have a conversation while siting on the can.

Having free range children pretty much killed casual nudity at our house. We'll have to wait about 15 years until all three of them are gone from the house, but by then we'll both be in our mid fifties and who wants to see that?

 

Wearing clothes to bed is like using a condom -- it just doesn't feel the same. I have been either living by myself or with my fiancee/wife for the the last 10 years, and have been sleeping naked for the better part of it. To date, nobody has invented 800 thread count Italian linen boxers, and until they do, I'll be sleeping in the buck.

As far as walking around naked goes, I have a pretty strict "top floor only" policy. We've got lots of windows on the lower level and plenty of neighbors with kids. Those kids sell me delicious Thin Mints and Samoas, so I want to make sure I stay on good neighborly terms.