I'm an only child. Unlike what other only children have posted, I was immature as a teenager, but at the same time, I was intellectually precocious and enjoyed interacting with adults more than with most of my peers. I can be extremely sociable and outgoing, but at the same time, enjoy my own company as well. I wasn't spoiled, however, and never really got into much trouble. As for my cousins, they are all much older than me, but right now, we're pretty similar in terms of maturity.
I'm also an only child. Unlike many of you, who grew up around or with cousins and siblings, I didn't. My cousins all live in England and I've never even met any of them! However, from old photos I've seen, I look more like my grandfather than anyone else in the family, aside from the extra weight. Like many other only children here have said, I learned to relate better to adults than to kids my own age and I'm still that way inclined - I've always battled to really understand people my own age and think most of them are very immature. I prefer my own company to the company of others, since I was the weird, occasionally funny (mostly laughing at me not with me type), fat geek kid - as a result, I was pretty ostracised as a kid, so I'm used to mostly being by myself. I certainly don't spend much time around my parents, even though we live in the same place. I think I'm pretty financially responsible - I follow the mantra of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" - that's responsible, right?
I am the youngest, but I may as well be the middle child. I fit every middle child stereotype far more than youngest child stereotypes. This is because my dad decided when my sister was born that she was his 'princess' and spoiled her to high heaven, much to my mother's chagrin. My brother is 5 years older, and my sister is 15 months older, so I've been very close with her. It is a blessing now, but when we were kids it was the worst sort of female territorialism you've ever seen. The fights were so dirty and horrible that a lot of our teachers thought we were being beaten by our parents. The problem with our particular birth order is that my dad could never decide if he viewed me as older than my sister, or younger, and screwed up a lot of the ways he parented us. He would let her get away with things in the name of age, and then not let me do the same things when I was the same age. As for my mom, she always viewed me as the oldest because my parents are divorced and she didn't have a hand in raising my brother after he was 12. This means I am super independent and able to relate to adults very well, but I am also kind of reclusive. My siblings took sides against me a lot as a kid, so I spent a lot of time by myself, and now I love my own company more than the company of annoying people. My sister cannot live without having people around, even if she hates them. I can't understand that. Also, I have been doing laundry since I was 7 and making my own meals since I was about 4 (granted they were really bad PBJ sandwiches), because we were latchkey kids with an inept babysitter. I feel pretty well-prepared for life, save for the relationship aspect. But who needs more than two close people in their life anyway?
Oldest. Brother is just over two years younger, sister came along just under five years after me. It was nice most of the time. It was annoying when my sister stayed up far later than I had at a given age. All things considered, I wouldn't change it.
I definitely believe that birth order influences our development. I'm a middle child who had an older brother by 4 years and has a younger sister by 7 years (which, according to psychologists who espouse birth order theory, would classify her psychologically as an only child due to the gender mix of the 3 of us and age spread). I also believe there is such a thing as "middle child syndrome," but I think it's manifestations vary based on the family environment (dysfunctional, alcoholic parents, etc.). As such, I was lost in the shuffle. With a brother 4 years older, by the time I came along, the "novelty" had worn off. Anything I did, he had already done. Then, "Daddy's Princess" arrives 7 years later. We were far from well-off, but they always seemed to manage to finance my siblings' pursuits, but not mine. Brother wanted guitar lessons, he got them. Sister wanted dance lessons, she got them. I wanted to study martial arts, "Go try beating on your brother." I started Kempo karate and tai chi when I was 35 and my father swore it was some sort of twisted attempt at psychological revenge against him. Yeah, I busted my ass for years to get my black belt, just so I could piss you off. Yeah, there's a reason my wife and I stopped after 2.
I am 8 years younger than my sister. I idolized her growing up, hated her for a few years when I was 15 or so, loved the shit out of her for maybe 4 years after that and can barely stand her now. Hardly anyone talks to her because she is a continual vortex of negativity and spite. That is a story for another time. That's not why I'm here, though. I wish to represent the motherly contingency. Three boys. 11 years, 6 years, 11 months. Oldest son is a paradox in a box. He was the awesomest little guy! When he was a baby/toddler, he would play for HOURS on end quietly. Polite, studious, stoic! Until the very minute his little brother was born. Then he lost his goddamn mind. Punching kids on the school bus. Running dizzying circles around the principle's office when he got sent there for being a smart-ass. Growling, snarling, trying to run out in traffic. He went off the deep end. I had never seen such bullshit and I was off the chart as a kid myself. I remember purposefully shaking him going "What is the matter?! Where did you go? What do I have to do to get that last kid back?" Drugs. That's what I had to do. Unmedicated: a whirling dervish of unbridled (and very loud, almost car-alarm annoying) lunacy. Medicated: All A's and one B. There may be lots of needless kids out there being drugged up but my oldest can't so much as get dressed without it. My middle son is a fucking disaster. He can destroy a place in minutes. I've seen him stand still talking to me and fall the fuck over, skinning up his knees and elbows in the process. He is also off the damn walls but he only seems to be that way at home because his teacher just today swore that he is the sweetest, smartest, brightest, funniest (I'll believe that) kid ever. And with those two front teeth growing in, he looks uncannily like the alien from Enemy Mine (my interpretation). I realize she was probably blowing smoke up my ass, but she nailed his personality perfectly. Little guy is too young to get a good feel for. He is HELLA grouchy though. Jesus.
I'm the youngest of two. There's almost 7 years between me and my brother & we've always gotten along pretty well. Besides the fact that we're both very intelligent, the rest is a stark contrast. He was a convicted felon at 16, I've never had a speeding ticket. He didn't give a shit about school, I was genuinely upset at my first B (in 8th grade) and went to college for 8 years. When I was 15 he was in a motorcycle accident, broke his neck & is paralyzed. Needless to say, our entire family changed then. It became all about him, all the time and has pretty much been that way for the almost 14 years since. I'm still "the baby" and got some leniency that he never did but there have been periods when I've straight up been neglected by our parents. To be very very clear, I don't resent him, I'm thankful he's still here with me. He's almost 36 now and it's getting to the point that he isn't as independent as he once was. We live together and probably will forever and that's ok.
I'm my Mother'soldest, but I have an older brother from my Dad's first marriage, so it's kind of a grey area... I do think my birth order influenced my development, but probably only in the obvious, surface way, and not in a "you were born first; you have to fit this certain category," way. I mean, I am very much a Mummy's boy in that my girlfriend takes care of pretty much my everyday life. I did kind of rest upon the title of "the oldest" when it came to my second brother, Jase, younger by 16 months, and my first sister in that they did try to compete somewhat, especially Jase, him being competitive by nature he seemed to want to knock me off my pedestal. I was always really relaxed when it came to the attention I received from my parents and others, but he seemed to have something to prove all along, and was really active and sporty. Couple that with his academic skill he proved in later years, I think he got what he wanted, and it's all cool between us. I never felt I had anything to prove, and didn't care, so it was an easy win for the both of us I think, let him become the one they pin all their hopes on, then he can do what the hell he wants, and I can do what the hell I want. With my youngest brother and sister, I was already quite a few years older, so it was a different role I played in their life. Much more of a role model that they could take or leave, depending on their mood, but playing with them as kids was always a blast. There was more of a distinction of me being much older, born in a different decade, whereas with my brother Jase, we were peers, despite having different interests. My older brother had a different mother, which I guess confused me a little as a toddler, but it was just natural as far as I knew, and he spent quite a lot of time with me, coming to stay every weekend or whatever. We would wrestle and I would lose every time, not understanding that he was bigger than me; I guess I took a more diminutive role, and he'd teach us stuff, including bad habits my mother didn't like. He's now separated from his wife, which will probably reach divorce point soon, and given me a niece and nephew that I love dearly, and I'm starting to reconnect with him in a more adult way. In fact, after a period of time since I turned 18, now that my youngest sister is in her mid teens with an in independent mind, that I can connect with each of them in a much more adult way, and have good, renewed-relationships with all of them. But I'm really proud of all my siblings, to the point I'm sure they'll all be more successful than I would ever be, and that I'm the black sheep of the family, that I'm the one who's going no-where. But when I say that, it's more that I think they will all do really great, and me not being as successful as the, means that I'll just be mildly successful, and it doesn't mean that I'm resentful of them, or think I'll be a failure...
I'm the oldest of four. It makes you a little more bossy that is for sure and a little more controlling. Especially because my next brother is four years younger. My sister is ten years younger than me! She used to call me her "cooler other Dad." I used to think it was neat but then I noticed that she was nervous to tell me certain things and to let her guard down. Many older siblings seem to have a greater sense of responsibility seeing they had to immediately help their parents. My brother and sister both lived with me for a time after college, I wanted to help them get on their feet. My parents treated us different as well. My "black sheep" brother certainly does not have the same standards as the rest of us, but I guess that goes with the turf. I never once wished I was anything but the oldest. ALT-FOCUS I am my fathers name sake. Is anyone else out there a junior? It can be a lot of pressure especially when your Dad is a CEO and a very accomplished man. Know what the worst thing is? He has a better head of hair than me! I'm not bad for 35 but he looks like a senator for God sake. Thankfully I was always a better athlete, (although he did crew which is hard to compare) but my uncles always tease him about that. It is tough being a junior you don't want to let them down.
My dad's the junior, I'm the third and an only child, you pretty much described our relationship, except the hair thing. Don't get me wrong, he has more hair than any 60 year old I have ever seen (only a couple grays too, it's freaky), but I am about the hairiest white 27 year old I know. Both he and my grandfather fought in war, both went to school on their own dime, and both were high ranking executives for their companies. I am a fucking disappointment in comparison... but at least I'm better than my loser cousins! It's the little things.
I'm a junior and growing up I thought it was great because many people spoke well of Dad. As I grew older and started to realize that he's not a perfect person, it took some time on how to go about carrying the Jr and still being my own man. I worked that out, but having everybody assume that I was going to be his clone was irksome from time to time. Being a Jr is something good IMO because the circumstances it brings are uncommon, but instigate growth/development in ways that most people don't go through
I'm the oldest of two. My sister is 3 years younger. My parents split up when we were young, and I think it really took a toll on the future of what was left of our family. I had trouble dealing with the divorce, but my sister seemed to deal with it just fine. My dad moved out. Living with all females from that point out was something I wasn't prepared for. We went through the typical back and forth fighting/shouting matches when we were younger. There were times when shit got physical even, and I really feel shitty about actually trying to hurt her. I'm not happy about having to look out for my sister, but its something that comes with the territory. I let her go her own way though mostly, and she doesn't root around in my life much either. As we got older, we grew much closer and became more like friends. She did the smart thing and went to college, while I didn't think about what the hell I wanted to do with my life and finally ended up entering the Air Force. We differ in so many ways. She is more the stereotypical dumb blonde, popular girl in high school, all about the latest VH1 reality shows and fashion trends, while I'm the one who had no interest in school, hung out with shady people, drank/smoked, choose to rebel...etc. I look out for her, but never get overprotective. I leave that for my mother.
I don't know whether or not it matters in the way people seem to think it matters. For example, I am the oldest of two by 5 years, and I still relate to Dcc's initial post almost completely. Yes, I am the cautioned, reasoned, thoughtful, calculating and controlled voice of reason in my household that maintains the sanity of the other with the iron grip of logic leveraged with the kung fu action of a ninja turtle action figure. Yeah, I'm not really sure what that means either, but I said it anyway. Don't make me cut you. Personality-wise I am pretty much socially bipolar, yo-yo-ing back and forth between being an extrovert and an introvert. I prefer my own company, but enjoy stepping out with others and love a good party when it happens to be within reach. Time with people drives me to desire solitude. Solitude drives me to desire social contact. It's an endless cycle. In a similar fashion hardcore cold logic and reasoning drives me to crave artistic expression, while artistic expression drives me to crave cold logic and reasoning. That's one of my key drives to post on this board in the first place, whenever I'm at a point of particularly arduous studying or work that demands considerable organization and mathematical thinking I am driven towards the abstract and expressionistic nature of my postings here. I only post here when I'm working extremely hard and/or am burned out. I spent 5 years as an only child. I spent 16 years as the oldest. I am who I am, I doubt it is the result of only my sibling situation, but I'm sure some role is played by it in my psyche. My brother and I have some similarities and some differences, but at the end of the day we both wind up having long-winded philosophical arguments over innane bullshit where we each wind up quoting numerous salient facts and getting into nauseating detail over subjects that will never benefit anyone in any way. Based on observed reactions, it's amusing to outsiders.