I'm an only child, but I grew up with a single dad so I'm not sure what stereotypes I'm supposed to have and whether or not I fit them. I know that the main positive things that have come from it are that I'm very responsible, independent and creative. I've been taking care of the house alone for the weekend since I was eleven (and for longer periods as I got older). The effect of this didn't really hit me until I went to college and saw everyone who'd never been left alone or didn't have many chores they were responsible for or whatever become totally lost. I was so amazed that there were tons of people who were doing their laundry for the first time, or just didn't know how to handle their independence and make tons of stupid decisions. I had to grow up pretty fast, which I guess can be a negative too. (Another negative is sometimes I already get burnt out with housekeeping and think fuckit, I'm not cleaning my room for a few weeks.) I'm also very comfortable being alone. Everyone always gets so shocked when they find out I went to the movies alone or went to some event or went travelling alone. Also, since I spent a lot of time by myself, I became very creative and inventive. I think I would've been creative anyway, but if I get restless nowadays I can always come up with some kind of project or challenge to amuse myself with. The biggest negative I can think of is that I can be socially awkward.
I'm an only child. What bothers me the most about that is that when it comes up in conversation people automatically assume I was/am a spoiled little princess. Yes, I grew up in the upper middle class but that does not mean we were rich. My Grandmother spoiled me and she spoiled the entire family but she was a hardass. She retired as the intake sergeant in the busiest jail here. She had 5 kids so being the first grandchild I was around adults most of the time and learned quickly that we are a smack talking family constantly giving each other shit only to have it flipped right back at you. I've been doing my own laundry since I was around 13 or so, making my own lunches and so on. I've worked since I was 16. When I hit 18 I had to begin paying rent which was the phone bill and elect bill I believe. This only lasted about 6 months because I met and moved in with my POS ex. Like most only children I too enjoy my alone time and don't understand the friends I have that have to be busy and in someone's company all the time. I'd go nuts. I have a friend who's younger sister got hammered at some family gathering and told everyone off and why she hated them. I don't need that brand of drama in my life. Family as it is is hard enough. As the saying goes, you can pick your friends but you cannot pick your family. And because I know Frebis will bring this up because he's a turd, when I was about 2 my Mom and Dad who were highschool sweethearts, divorced. My Mom then married his Brother/my Uncle. Yeah, go ahead and try to wrap your heads around that shit. Talk about awkward.
I put a lot of stock in birthing order and how it shapes you, maybe too much. It was very defining for my family. I'm the youngest of three. My older brother is 26 and makes six figures working as a stock analyst. He was the valedictorian of a class of 400, got a great scholarship to the U of I, and has always been a high-achiever. Everyone always said he would do great things. I see him once a year at Christmas. My sister is 23 and finishing a psychology major. For a couple years in high-school she seemed to be another wonder-kid... number one in her class, state finalist in cross country... then it all came crashing down. Turns out she was dying inside from stress and the pressure to live up to big bro. She starts gaining weight, gets that first A-, things start to slip, and a year later she is the slowest girl on the cross country team and failing classes. I'm in 8th grade at the time. Every day after dinner I hear her puking upstairs. Sometimes I wake up for school to find chunks floating in the toilet because she forgot to flush her post-breakfast gag session. She still has issues with food many years later. She is also the only girl in a very emotionally distant family (mom doesn't count, has issues of her own), trying desperately to heal and unify what no one wants to admit is broken. I wonder why she became a psych major. Then there is me. Slacker by nature, doing just enough to skate by... spent early high school lost in World of Warcraft fantasyland trying to shut out my parents and sister's problems, big bro was already long gone. In tenth grade I discover pot and switch and slowly switch from nerd to stoner. In eleventh grade I discover mushrooms. I never have that urge to impress anyone... why bother? I sit in the back and do my work so I can have fun. By senior year I'm dying my hair blue, growing mushrooms in my room (my parents don't ask questions), and have big dreams of being a musician, or maybe a writer, or maybe... hold on, one more bong rip. Through all of this I never burn out like most kids do... I take all honors and AP classes, get decent grades, pretend like I care. I'm an actor playing my role so no one notices me disappear on a bender over the weekend. College rolls around. Getting out of the house and out of my own head is a positive thing. I get a little grip on my life. I've mostly substituted drugs for the socially accepted act of binge-drinking to forget your problems and get laid. It's weird to be quitting drugs at a time when everyone around you is still discovering them. Now I'm 19, still trying to make it in a creative industry, currently a film student, but still mostly just clueless. Pretty stereotypical no? I think it impacts you more than most care to admit. If your birth order didn't fuck you up you probably just don't think about it as much, but for me it's always been a powerful force (that I'm mostly trying to escape from).
I am an only child, and the oldest grandchild by 7 years. My grandparents did spoil me rotten, but that's what grandparents are supposed to do. My parents divorced when I was young, and unfortunately for me they always had a unified front against me. I had an excellent education, but that was really the extent of my spoiling. My parents made me work for the things I wanted. I learned from a young age that nothing my Mother did for me was with out strings. If she bought me something she expected me to use it in the way she approved. I became very independent early in life, and it has been my biggest blessing and a horrible curse. I don't really like people and I am normally happy to quietly do things by myself rather than needing to have my friends with me all of the time. It hasn't served me very well in relationships. I like to spend time doing my own thing, and when you are rarely home to start with, women tend to want your attention. Not an easy thing for me. If I could change being an only child I would. My mom would have been much better off with 2-3 more kids. I know I would have turned out more normal, without having all of her hopes, dreams, affection and attention directed on my for all of my life. My mother is Italian and can't help being a royal pain in the ass. It's in her genes.
I'm the youngest of two. My brother is 8 years older than me which meant I grew up a lot quicker than I probably should have. My brother was my hero so as the youngest I followed him around like a sheep and wanted to be like him. This pissed him off when I tried to hang out with him and his friends so we fought a lot. And I mean fist fights, not oral argument. But that didn't matter in the long run. He started boxing, I started boxing. He listened to Slayer, I listened to Slayer. My brother was obsessed with mafia movies so I watched Scarface, Goodfellas, Godfather, Casino... and the list goes on, before I was old enough to even fully understand what I was seeing. I definitely got a fair share of hand-me-downs from him but I can't say I was too bothered by it because as I said he was my hero so I didn't mind dressing like him.
I'm technically the middle child of an older brother and a younger sister, but considering my little sister is only just about a year younger than me with a birthday 4 days after mine, our lives have always been merged. We all three look alike, but my little sister and I look nearly identical. We share most opinions, mannerisms, and even our voices are unmistakably similar over the phone. We shared a room for the entirety of our childhood by choice, instead of her getting her own room we elected to turn it into more of a game room of sorts so she should stay in mine. The year I went to college while she stayed at home was the first time we'd spent more than 5 days apart, the next year she joined me at the same school and we've lived together since. While I consider myself blessed to be so absurdly close to my siblings, it certainly has had a profound effect on the way I choose to conduct my life. My entire life I was essentially considered to have a twin, a permanent companion either for playdates and school functions as a kid and then parties and adventures as an adult. I was never lonely and as a result have significant trouble connecting with others my own age, especially women as the "best friend position" has long since been filled. However, as I mature I can't help but thirst for an adventure of my own. I plan to soon move somewhere very far away without any member of my family or any friends in the near future. I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified to embark all alone but it will be an interesting feeling to meet people without them already knowing one of my siblings. To be frank, I'm terribly excited to be considered a person all my own. I'm also sure my younger sister will look forward to no longer having full conversations with people only to realize they thought they were talking to me the entire time.
The one thing I have noticed about only children is that they sometimes don't understand the impulse towards violence to solve problems. Especially the concept of hitting girls. Not that I particularly advocate it or am still in the habit of hitting my sister (or did it all that often) but if youve never had a spoiled whiny little sister then you, sir or madam, are in no position to judge me.
You think being a boy and hitting your little sister is satisfying? It pales in comparison to being a girl and smacking a bratty brother around. I was in kindergarden when my brother was born. The fistfights we have gotten into are the thing of legend.
I'm a middle child, as if that wasn't appallingly obvious. But what do I need my parents' love for when I have rep instead?
Youngest, with an elder brother (7 years) to whom I'm not blood related. However, I was never treated as a youngest child. Our dad preferred to treat us equally in terms of ability to do chores. He saved the inequality for love and affection, such that at was. But then, my mother was never overly fond of my brother since he was adopted in my dad's previous marriage. Further, I was never overly worried about my father's lack of affection as we are chalk and cheese, which was confirmed when I found out he's not my biological father as he's infertile. So everything worked us just wonderful, thank you very fucking much.
I am the seventh of eight children (we're Catholic, of course). I know, for sure, that my position within my family has had a profound effect in shaping me into the person I am. There is a large age difference between myself and all of my older siblings ,the next oldest is 5 years older than me. Because of the age difference, I didn't feel like I could relate to my siblings very well. I'm somewhat anti-social, and I attribute that, at least partially, to growing up in an environment in which I felt alone even around a lot of other people. There was a lot of fighting and tension between my older siblings that I wasn't really involved in because I was so much younger. I was more like the passive observer in my family. That role helped me to develop my observational/analytical abilities early on. I had some really significant self esteem issues growing up. I think having as many older brothers as do had something to do with that, along with the abusive father thing, and never having anything nice. (This is random, but I remember my dad giving me creatine when I was like ten years old because my brother was using it for football.) My oldest brother was graduating high school when I was just five, so, as you can imagine, I was exposed to many things like rated R movies and porn (saw my first adult film when I was only 7) much earlier than my peers. Once I got in to high school, shit got really fucked up. My parents were in the process of getting divorced pretty much all throughout my high school career. The one upside of the situation was that my parents were so burnt out of parenting and being sane responsible adults at this point, that I was able to get away with just about anything. By my senior year I went out and got high/drunk almost everyday with hardly any repercussion, because my parents just didn't give a fuck. I have spent the last couple of years distancing myself from my family. It's not that I don't like or don't want to have a relationship with them, it's just that I have so many weird and negative emotions associated with them, I feel like I need to dissociate from that shit at least for now. In a very real way, I raised myself.
I'm the 5th of 6 kids. I have 4 older sisters and a younger brother. My oldest sister is 36 and my brother is 16. My cousins are much older than me, more the age of my oldest sisters. I have nieces and nephews, the oldest of which is only 7 years younger than my brother (yes, that's right, he became an uncle at age 7). The dynamics of my family are interesting. We're a weird mix of cynical, Catholic, scientific minded, old fashioned, out doorsy, and cheap. My dad had no illusions of softening the harsh realities from his "little girls." We weren't princesses and we weren't coddled. I could mow and edge a yard to perfection by about age 8. Thanks Dad! Both my parents are cheap, and my mom makes it her full time job to make outrageous deals on every type of item for the home that you can think of. She used to even sew my oldest sister's clothes growing up. On the other hand, my mom has anger problems and a lot of times didn't treat us kids very well. She's great with babies, and has become a great grandma to her 6 grandkids. I think her anger problems stems from a need to assert her dominance, and not asserting it in a positive manner. Though it could have gone in the other direction, having a mom that acted like that made me a diplomatic person. I learned to choose my words very carefully and to gauge reactions. To this day though, I get upset when people raise their voice or yell at me. In the end, my parents have raised (and are still raising) 6 children who have all become successful in some way. We are all college educated or on the way to college. My older sisters are all happily married, have children, and own their own homes. I would say that I am much more prepared to live on my own than most people my age. I am very, very good with money, I lead in small group settings, and I don't tend to put up with much bullshit. I can problem solve in a logical way and maintain a level head. In the end, all of these characteristics are things that I inherited from my parents and less so from my birth order.
I am the middle of four. My biological parents had me and my three year older sister, divorced, and my mom married my step-dad a couple years later, who had a son also three years older than me, and a daughter three years younger. A brother and sister three years older, a sister three years younger. I'm the middle. We were all raised together, so as far as we're concerned we are brothers and sisters. Explaining how my family is connected is always a real treat, especially when it's to a date. I don't think birth order was the main factor in our treatment as kids or later development. What did affect us was the fact that our parents most definitely did play biological favorites. I was my mother's son, my little sister was her father's daughter, my older sister was just kind of there (kind of like Meg in Family Guy), and my older brother got the real shitty deal. He and my dad never got along, and he was not mama's boy in the house. He is now the most eccentric of the four, and while I'm fairly wild compared to the rest of the family, he definitely wins the black sheep award. I am still my mother's favorite, and I know it will always be that way. I could pull off a ton of shit as a kid because my mom dominated my dad, and she would buy anything I sold her. I think it's fair to say that I matured much slower because of that fact. In the end, we were very affected by favoritism, just from a different source.
I'm the oldest, but my brother is 15 months younger than me. My wife is the oldest, and her brother is 17 months younger than her. We have two kids, they are 17 months apart. They are basically the same size, since my son is the toddler-sized equivalent of a bulldozer. We have a third on the way, who will be 27 months younger than his/her brother. I suspect that my son will probably eat all the food off his younger brother's plate (that's what we think we're having-- we don't know yet), since that's what he does with his sister. We're Catholic. Was that even a question? My wife says I'm not like a typical "oldest." My brother and I shared the same room, same clothes, etc. all through out childhood. I stayed closer to my parents, my brother moved out at 18 and never really came back. As a reward, my parents moved out to San Diego and now live three blocks away from him.
I have one brother who is four years younger than me. I am the stereotypical first child. I think that being born first had a profound influence on who I am today. My parents always held me to a higher standard than my brother and gave me much more responsibilities as a kid. My brother could get away with murder and never had to do chores when we were growing up. If they gave him chores to do and they weren't done, it was my fault and my responsibility to do them. Small things like this effected our work ethics. He only works hard on something if he thinks it's something he will benefit from. I, on the other hand, am a workaholic and work hard at whatever I'm doing because I feel that it's my duty to do my best. I am a natural caretaker and leader while my brother is more of a follower and wild child. He was never disciplined because my parents and relatives thought it was funny when he misbehaved and believed it was payback for my mom being a pain in the ass for my grandparents. If I misbehaved, I faced the wrath of God.
Wow, it's interesting to see how the demographic is working out. Well over half this board is oldest or only. I wonder what that says? Besides the fact that maybe only the oldest/onlies took the time to vote.
I am the oldest of 2 children, my sister is 4.5 years younger. It has definitely effected me to some degree but how much is anyone’s guess. I was born in a different country and my parents migrated to Australia when I was around 2 years old with $900 to their name. We slept in a small unit on a mattress on the floor in the beginning and while I had a really fun upbringing and my parents gave me all I needed, I did not have the luxury items that my sister grew up with. Pretty sure this is why she has such an entitlement complex. There was also a fair amount of trial and error that went into raising me as my parents were pretty young, they had it together more by the time my sister came around. My cousins were already here when we came over, they're are 3 boys 4, 8 & 11 years older than me. They sorted me out, ensured that I didn’t not grow up to be a pussy and knew how to take a savage beating haha. Hanging around with them are some of the greatest memories from my childhood. Because they used to bully me and make me do things for their approval, I carried this over and treated my little sister in much the same way. She loved it though and in the end if I didn’t give her a hard time she would not be as cool as she is today. All in all I’m really happy I am the oldest and had to live through the hard times to get to where we are now because I appreciate things more and feel that if anything in my life went wrong and I had to start from scratch I could make a fist of it.
Im the oldest, and have one brother who is two years younger, and trust me, he got the better end of the deal. When we were younger and I had a bed time of say 8:00pm, so was my brothers. The next year though, when my bed time got pushed to 8:30pm, my brother was too, even though at his age Id be going to bed at 7:00pm. That drove me nuts for years. Growing up I was always bigger then him so Id throw him around alot. This toughened him up tremendously, compared to the kids the same age as him. I got more of the responsibility too I suppose, when I was 15 and 16 I was allowed to go into town and do what I wanted until a reasonable hour. When I got my license I could come home whenever I wanted. My dad started to buy me booze when I was 16 for bushers and other parties. To me that made drinking lame, up until that age I just drank with my friends for the thrill of drinking. Once it was freely availiable to me, it was like "meh." My brother on the other hand just started to do that stuff. And its not like he got the shitty end of the stick when it came to handy-downs. We are two different people entirely. I took after my old man, tall and burley. My brother on the other hand is my my Ma; a bean pole with skinny gangly arms. Hes 6'7" tall (Im 6'4") and hes got 6" of reach on me. If I had the chance Id be the youngest.
If it wasn't extremely obvious, I'm a youngest child. And according to the internet I'm pretty much your stereotypical baby: financially irresponsible, self-centered, expects things to be done for them, doesn't like to feel tied down, outgoing, agreeable. My parents still refer to me as "The Baby" and treat me as such. If I ask them (particularly my dad) for something, my request generally is granted. Despite the fact that my brother is only 13 months older than I am he receives no babying ever - he gets my hand-me-down cell phones and cars. The joys of being the youngest.
I wish I could live in this supposed magical fairy tale world where they youngest child gets everything. As it stands I basically got fuck all for 26 years. If I did get anything it was after my sisters were offered first and/or my parents remembered to ask me. Older screw up daughter get a free college vacation until they flunk out? Of course! Does the youngest, graduated with honors child get to go away to school? Of course not. That might introduce the notion that we live in some fair, orderly universe where good deeds may occassionally be rewarded. And we wouldn't want that. Unlike what I hear from other youngest kids, I seem to be the most financially responsible. Within the next year or so, I'll have my Master's degree and be a CPA (hopefully!) and not owe one single cent on anything and be poised to stop working for the old man, move away and find a job away from my family. My sisters, on the other hand (32 and 30 for reference) still leech off the old man constantly and probably will continue to do so until he dies. And my parents - well my dad - honest to god wonder why I never speak up for myself and ask for anything. Because I know there's zero chance I'll get it. To my parents' credit, they have actually been a lot nicer to me over the past few years. I think they realized that once they hit their elderly years that I'll probably be the one taking care of them. Also, it was nice to hear my mom say how bad she felt that I got screwed over college wise due to my sister flunking out. That was, at least nice to hear. I think the most noticeable thing this whole thing caused has been a tendency for me to be anywhere from slightly to outright resentful of women in general. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it's still a lingering feeling that's been quite tough to shake. Any chance I could swap lives with a board member who happens to be the youngest in their family, for a week or so? You know, just so I can see what it's like before I die. Obviously, I'm in no way still bitter about everything. No no no no no no no. Not a chance.