British teen banned from USA for life after sending abusive email to Barack Obama <a class="postlink" href="http://www.news.com.au/world/british-teen-banned-from-usa-for-life-after-sending-abusive-email-to-barack-obama/story-e6frfkyi-1225922039720" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.news.com.au/world/british-te ... 5922039720</a> This is awesome. FOCUS: What have you been banned from or kicked out of? ALT FOCUS: When have you been forced to ban someone from something, and what did they do to deserve it?
No fucking way that he got banned from the U.S. for life for calling the President a prick. I'm betting dollars to doughnuts that it was more like "You're a prick and blah blah and by the way (OVERT THREAT)." Anyway, the story's interesting but I want to hear about your bannings - both given & received.
I was forced to take a Cotillion & Etiquette class when I was in 7th and 8th grade. During the 7th grade year, I managed to get reprimanded a time or two, and calls-to-Mom type of warnings. Then, in 8th grade, I got picked on by this guy that thought he was a bully. (He was in the Cotillion class - wtf?) Anyway, I was easy to pick on, because I was smaller than him, and generally didn't want to get in trouble. During the part where we're supposed to be learning some dance like the Foxtrot or whatever, the guys were in two lines. While I was in the front line, standing and listening, he did the little thing where you kick the back of somebody's knee that is in the straight locked position. I spun around and glared at him. It came time for the back row to switch to the front. As we passed by each other, he said, "Don't even think about doing it to me." I kept acting like I was going to do something, but never did, which drove him crazy. Finally, he turned around and called me a name, getting up in my face. I told him where he could stick it, and he tried to push me down. I tackled him and punched him several times before the director dude pulled us apart. We were both asked to never come back. I was generally "the good kid" and getting kicked out of cotillion is one of my prouder moments.
Several years ago, various incarnations of me were banned from the TMMB when I got into it with an uppity mod who eventually got banned. Then I got booted from my World of Warcrack guild a couple of years ago because I didn't like the way the asshole guild leader was running the thing and sidelining people he didn't like or who disagreed with the totalitarian regime he was creating (anyone who's dealt with a hardcore guild knows exactly what I mean). At the moment, I'm agitating a Facebook group set up by consumer advocates who are spreading a bunch of lies and half-truths about our industry by asking a bunch of questions I know they can't answer without revealing their dodginess. I expect a ban stick to come pretty hard and fast there. I tend to have a habit for being an upstart when I see bullshit going on.
I got banned from a forum I attend about 10 years ago because some douchebag hacked my account and then proceeded to flame himself under my name. After I pleaded my case that I was bowling the night of the incident I was unbanned. Then I found 20 bucks.
Being the baddest of the bad-asses, I was once banned from the local library. The local library was the size of a small closet with a limited book selection, but had recently acquired an album collection (you know, those flat discs made of vinyl, usually black in color). I had lost my cassette of Bon Jovi's "New Jersey" album, so I decided to borrow the album and use it to make a new cassette on my stereo system. Several months after returning the album, I received a notice claiming that I owed the full sale price for it to the library. After calling and questioning the librarian, who was less than helpful, I paid the library a visit to straighten things out. They showed me the album, which was warped and partially melted, as if someone had left it on a radiator or on the dashboard of a car with the windows rolled up in August, and claimed I had returned it in that condition. I, of course, had done no such thing, and refused to pay for the album. At which point they tore up my library card and banned me from the library. Believe you me, buster, I left in a snit, tossing back some biting remark to the effect that I had more books at home than they had in their poor excuse for a lending institution. Fair warning - do not fuck with me.
I was kicked out of some summer camp when I was 12 or so for stealing a golf cart and joyriding it around with a bunch of other people. It was one of those longer ones with two rows of seats so it was considerably slower than a normal one, and the fun ended when some shitty kid caught up to us and pulled the key out of the ignition. We got taken down to the office, yelled at for a while and made us call our parents to come pick us up. I sat there terrified waiting for my dad to show up and as we were driving home I was just waiting for him to start yelling. After a couple minutes of painful silence, he turns and says, "All I have to say right now is the next time you do something that stupid, you'd better make sure you're the one driving," and proceeded to take me out to lunch. Totally worth it.
I wonder how many people decided to use this opportunity to troll the president. Focus: I've been banned out of a couple of bars for being an idiot, really nothing interesting; a week later, I show up with friends and they let me back in. I was once banned from an A&W for accidentally spilling my rootbeer all over the lady behind the counter. I put it on top of the pop dispenser thing and when I went to grab it, I punched it instead of picking it up. The pop flew straight at the chick behind the till and hit her square in the chest; in retrospect, it probably looked like I threw it at her but at the time, I was pretty surprised and confused.
I once got pulled over four times for speeding in one day while road tripping through MD. The state trooper who handed me number 4 (it was actually numbers 4, 5 and 6) recommended I return to PA and not enter his fine state again. My lawyer agreed that I shouldn't really tempt fate. Is that a formal banning? No, not really. Will I ever drive through MD again? Doubtful.
Two events have led me to be banned for life from a local country club and its golf course. The first of these two events pissed some people off, but to hear some people recount the second event you would think I invaded Poland. Both events involve my good friend "Thaddeus", who grew up in a house on the 17th tee box of the golf course, and whose family were long time and respected members of the club. For the record, I don't play golf and I've never been a member of this club. Senior year of high school - One day after school Thaddeus suggested that we go hang out in the club's locker room and get drunk for a little change of scenery. The locker room was absolutely pimp, and is reminiscent of a professional athletic team's club house. This way we would play cards and watch the big screen t.v.'s while we crushed natty light and some horrid liquor concontions. He was certain that none of the members would care or even notice, and he was right. Well, nobody cared until it was time to leave and I sprinted through the parking lot all Van Damme like jumping on top of the vehicles and running across them. I guess I decided that the hoods, roofs, and trunks of $75,000 vehicles were more appropriate to run across than the parking lot asphault. Oddly enough my high school swim coach's boyfriend was the chef at the restaurant and recognized me. The only real flack I caught for this was being reprimanded a bit by Thaddue's dad, as he was the one who caught heat over me being there with Thaddeus. Summer after senior year of high school - Thaddeus and his brother were having a standard Friday night get together while their parents were out of town. Pretty low key, about 20 people or so getting fucked up on a random week night. Well, at some point it occured to me that the decidedly most awesome thing in the world would be to see a flaming golf ball fly through the summer night sky. I declared this sentiment to the group and Thaddeus agreed, although he balked at my suggestion of actually using real fire and golf balls. He instead opted to drive to Target and buy glow in dark golf balls. This alternative was not pleasing to me, and being a man of action I recruited some accomplices while Thaddeus and his brother went to the store. The plan was to douse a golf ball in gasoline, light it on fire, and one of the golfers in the group would hit it with a driver, thus creating my dream of a comet like golf ball blazing it's way through the dark sky. Unbeknownst to us at the time, golf balls don't catch on fire. And it doesn't matter how much gasoline you pour on the fuckers. You know what does catch on fire? Bermuda grass and tee boxes catch on fire. Gasoline cans also catch on fire. And explode. So as you can imagine it didn't take long until we had a raging inferno on the 17th tee box, and when my accomplices abandon me to flee for safety, I foolishly remained trying to put the fire out because I could see that lights were starting to turn on in some of the neighbors windows. Then the gas cans started exploding, and I had to run. The jig was up. Fifteen minutes later there were two fire trucks, a fire patrol vehicle, and about four cops cars outside Thaddeus' house. It didn't take long for the cops to knock on our door. Thaddeus was home by now and tried to play it off as though he was the only person home. We were all hiding in his parents massive walk-in closet and peering out the window. It was hard to convince the cops and fire fighters that he was home alone when there were like 10 cars parked in front of his house. The aftermath was bad, but not nearly as bad as it could have been. All charges were dropped if I paid back all the damages and did community service. Thaddeus and I had a strained friendship for a while. My relationship with Thaddeus' parents, who I'd known since the 1st grade, became severely strained. In fact only in the past three years have things really gotten back to normal with them, to the point where now we can joke about it. I took majority of the blame as the ring leader, but the 4 other guys who were with me paid all the damages, knowing that it was my name getting trashed while they were barely mentioned. The incident became quite infamous among certain social circles in the city. Now, thankfully, it's become a joke. Thaddeus' dad mentions it in a New Year's speach he gives every year and cheers to me. Recently I emailed one of our companies vendors regarding a business matter, and I got an email back from the owner saying some to the extent of "We'll do this for you, if you promise not to come over and burn down our facility, a la BB Country Club circa 2002..." It was meant as a joke and I forwarded it onto Thaddeus and some of our other friends who were there that night so we could get a good laugh out of it. But back to the focus, I was strictly prohibited from ever stepping foot anywhere near that country club again. Jokes on them though, I've been back to eat at the club's restaurant about three times.
I was banned from a local Dunkin Dounuts for throwing up on their floor. Before DD's was a 24 hour deal they used to give away unsold pastries at midnight/1:00am. Eating a dozen donuts after drinking all nite isn't the best idea.
Focus: I've been banned from The Supper Club. Considering the fact that I'm not usually a drunken asshole, and the Supper Club is fairly tolerant of drunken hijinks....it may seem like an accomplishment. But it wasn't. It was tequila and an immature lover's quarrel. Ex was being a douche. I decided to be a cunt and grind on some other dude and his girl in retaliation, completely ignoring Ex. Ex got angry, pulled me outside to the shot bus. I basically decided to show my disdain for...whatever he was saying...by continuously taking shots of tequila while he was talking. He got pissed and pushed me. I fell down and flashed my panties to everyone on the shot bus. I started crying because I banged my elbow on the side of the bus when I fell. Normally, this would have led to him getting kicked out, right? But by the time the bouncers showed up to oust him, I was on the ground clinging to his shorts while violently puking, crying, and simultaneously taking nut shots. Since I was being a crazy person, I got shoved into the drunk bus and sent home while he got to stay and continue his earlier douchey behavior. See? Not a cool story. I hate that I was banned for being a complete fucking jackass. And I actually really like that bar, too.
There isn't too much of a story here, but for the last 6 years I have been banned from the Bon Ton. I used to have a little problem with shoplifting. In high school, a friend and I become the go-to girls for stealing from the mall. She had intricate ploys for sneaking stuff out of the store, and I mastered the art of removing ink tags without breaking the ink. Anyway, on one particular trip to the mall, I got cocky and very obviously slipped a pair of panties into my backpack. The security guard caught me. I had to fill out a bunch of forms and get a Polaroid mugshot (I was too terrified to actually run/ argue with the guy.) Later that night, the security guard calls my cell phone (I had to give my number on the form,) and tells me I had a hot ass and would I like to go out on a date. I called his boss the next day, and while the charges were dropped and my file was destroyed, I still had to give a verbal promise to never come back.
The only story of a banning that I remember (key word there) is from when I was younger. A buddy of mine threw up a whole bunch of pizza and Hawaiian Punch all over the ball pit--and subsequently a few sections of tubes and the rubber band room suspended above the giant water-filled floor--of a Discovery Zone. We were both kicked out and they told our moms to never bring us back. We had to go to the one in Danbury after that.
On the old message board, my original I.D. was banned by the biggest asshole mod on RMMB (permanently, without warning) because I dared to make sense in an arguement against him. Oh, well. He's not on this board so fuck him and good riddance. I was also banned from a mysteriously popular patio bar called Barney's here in London because a bouncer wouldn't let me back in the bar when I went to get cigarettes (my hand was stamped), so I shoved him and he fell on his ass cheeks. He actually cried from embarrasment, and the next thing I knew it was some guy with a tie in front of me (only truly powerful bar employees wear ties) saying I was never welcome back. I returned in 3 weeks.
I was Pete Rose'd from my high school girlfriends house for a few months my senior year. Let's just say I made a social faux pas the first time I had dinner with her and her parents.
My father and I were permanently banned from the Meadowlands Sports Complex. My father got into it with an obnoxious fat drunk while we were at a Devils' playoff game, and I got into it when another guy tried to intercede. We all were escorted to the security office, were photographed and told we were permanently banned and that, if we were caught on Meadowlands property, we would be arrested for tresspassing. Security told me and my dad that, really the only way it could be enforced was if we made our way back to the security office for whatever reason. As we left the building, NJ State Troopers waited for fat drunk guy to get behind the wheel of his car. Busted, DWI. And I got a few time-outs on the RMMB for expressing an opinion contrary to Bunny's. Go figure.
I'm banned for life from Tom Sawyer's island in Disneyland. I was 17, in Anaheim on a hockey tournament. Whenever I meet guys from that team, the first thing we talk about is how those 7 days were almost freakishly memorable. Literally everyday something happened that would have been the story of the trip, had it been the only memorable thing that happened (examples include: getting out of our car at a light to stop a bum from smashing our car with his chain bike lock, and having a police escort ONTO the ice after getting in fights with parents before our game). We also got kicked out of Disneyland three times. And when I say 'we', I just mean the group of five or six that I happened to be with. Other guys got kicked out on different occasions (our hotel was across the street). This was my third time. We took the old-timey raft over to the island and, like we had been doing all over the Disneyland, we asked to get pictures with employees who's uniforms included hats, asking to wear their hats ourselves. On the island, we came across two old-timey marshalls with giant, round, mountie-style hats. They said they'd pose for pics but couldn't alter their uniforms, since they were actual cops, not D-land employees. We did not believe them, and in our teenage cockiness, said things similar to: "Oh come on, no self-respecting cop would work on Tom Sawyer's island. Just let us wear them!" This becomes important later. So off we go, running all over, looking for any kind of mischeif, quickly finding a suspension bridge that, according to the signs and ropes blocking each end, was apparently incomplete. One by one we crawl through the ropes, run half-way across, pose for a pic, and climb through the other end. And one bye one, we are all caught around the corner, by two security guards and, of course, the two police officers wearing big hats and shit-eating grins. We get brought back to main land Disney in a white security boat, to meet an old dude I'm pretty sure isn't a grounds employee. We attempt to convince him that we're part of a visiting hockey team that hasn't been kicked out half a dozen times in five days, but he doesn't buy it. The really funny part is how he ended his speech: "I'm only kicking you out of Disneyland for the day, but I don't ever want to see you guys on Tom Sawyer's island ever again." Not really caring about such a feeble threat, I speak up: "Wait, you mean, like...ever?" "Ever." "So like, if I come back here in 25 years with my wife and kids...?" "They can come. You have to wait on shore." We came back that night.
I was banned from the local pool for putting the moves on Wendy Peffercorn. Focus: In my time I have been banned from: -The RMMB -Nyyfans.com (some bronx born douchebag said something about the Red Sox offense being anemic, when I pointed out that they were, at that very moment, throttling the braves by a double digit score, I was banned). -The Ann Coulter official message board (multiple times, all under the same name. One mod hated me and another thought I was hilarious, so it became a ban/unban scenario repeated ad nauseum). -My high school prom -Consideration to be an RA at my college dorm (no idea what I did, but apparently I was on a "list") -Many a woman's vagina
In 2002, I was banned from a forum I used to frequent for posting a link to tubgirl. After groveling before the admin, my account was restored. I was banned from christianforums.com for starting the thread "organizing a gangbang" in the teen abstinence forum. I was banned from a white supremacist message board (forget the name, but it wasn't Stormfront) for starting a thread entitled "White women: where they at?" under the alias "Chocolate Thunder." Outside of cyberspace, I was banned from a go-kart track near my parents' house when I was 12 for repeatedly ramming my friend. The manager told me I would never be allowed to return, but I came back a month later, and no one said anything.